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Perfect, beautifully cut 10+ carat diamonds are scattered across the deep black velvet on the floor of the crate. A 1" mesh of invisible monowire strands is stretched across the opening. When blood and/or bits of meat fall on the velvet they are quickly absorbed, as the velvet purrs happily.
 
Waldo!

I didn't like that one, so I opened another box.

A plastic high-tech looking gun with the words "Lewiston Firearms X-22 Sleep Ray" engraved on the side. Being shot with the ray provides the equivalent of eight hours of restful sleep. Multiple uses have no special effect.
 
A letter: "Louie, I know what happened to the rat was no accident. Don't let me catch you in those pajamas again or I'll have all three of your knees broke." The "signature" is a drawing of a squid.
 
"Video footage of a US Army experiment involving an attempt to breed Basilisks. The final part of the tape shows researchers running from a building, dragging what appear to be statues. The building explodes, and the footage ends."
 
"A bloodstained page ripped from a notebook, containing notes from what appears to be an advanced class in computer science. There are many marginal doodles and comments, including: foo food ford fno [Scrawl, as if the writer jerked the pen uncontrollably] "

lol
 
A very large wooden stick. Anyone who picks it up is possessed with the sudden urge to whack himself over the head with it.

 
"A file explaining the real reason songs get stuck in your head. It has nothing to do with subliminals, and is far more sinister than you ever imagined."
 
You open one of the 997 boxes on this floor and find...

A leatherbound guide, titled in gold written "The Emotinomicon." It describes ancient evil gods whose names are signified by punctuation-based smiley-faces. References are made to "The Forbidden Happy Face."
 
"A Quantum Irregularity Splicer. All indirect observations show that the device is there, but no direct observation yields any results."
 
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