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OK, I'm ready to pick a religion.

LOL i think don't need people to convince you if you really want it ! i praise satan , how is it?
 
Whatever-the-fuck-you-think-ism

Very similar to

Do-Whatever-The-Hell-You-Want-To-ism but with fewer rules....
 
The battle is already won. The fact that your heart and mind is open to religion is all that any god needs to enter your heart and save you.

You don't need to actively seek people to convince you, when the time is right they will find you.

Best wishes in your journey.
 
momeNt said:
The battle is already won. The fact that your heart and mind is open to religion is all that any god needs to enter your heart and save you.

You don't need to actively seek people to convince you, when the time is right they will find you.

Best wishes in your journey.
Click to expand...

BS

God doesn't come find you, you have to find him. And he's fucking hiding in sub-atomic particles so it won't be easy.
 
5eff246e7ac4ba2c7785bed9d0214848.jpg


His noodly appendage just sank the Bounty! You could be next!
 
I can give you one you will never want to leave. This religion doesn't exist yet in this universe now except for me. All secrets of the universe will be yours only if you have the courage to accept its eternal truth.
 
I'm offering 74 virgins and a winged jet ski*. I also accept Paypal.



* If you make saint, your jet ski comes w/ beer cooler built into the steering column.
 
Bokonism!

Bokononism is based on the concept of foma, which are defined as harmless untruths. A foundation of Bokononism is that the religion, including its texts, is formed entirely of lies; however, one who believes and adheres to these lies will have peace of mind, and perhaps live a good life. The primary tenet of Bokononism is to "Live by the foma that make you brave and kind and healthy and happy."
Click to expand...
 
So far, you all have failed miserably. I'm leaning towards that flying spaghetti with meatball though, just some questions. If I join that religion, how many servings a day, and what kinda sauce?
 
SSSnail said:
So far, you all have failed miserably. I'm leaning towards that flying spaghetti with meatball though, just some questions. If I join that religion, how many servings a day, and what kinda sauce?
Click to expand...

You should join the one that hates everyone else's but preaches the exact opposite of that. That way you can cherry pick what you want to believe from it while ignoring all the other stuff you don't, it's fool proof.
 
SSSnail said:
So far, you all have failed miserably. I'm leaning towards that flying spaghetti with meatball though, just some questions. If I join that religion, how many servings a day, and what kinda sauce?
Click to expand...

Marinara is the One True Sauce. All others are false, do not listen to the alfredo blasphemers.
 
1: Imagine a god exists
2: Give Him powers you wish Him to have
3: Live your life according to the rules you believe He would impose on you
4: ....
5: Prophet!
 
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Braznor said:
I can give you one you will never want to leave. This religion doesn't exist yet in this universe now except for me. All secrets of the universe will be yours only if you have the courage to accept its eternal truth.
Click to expand...

so this^ is what happens when you give up on writing content-thin sci-fi novels.

take heed, people.
 
SSSnail said:
So far, you all have failed miserably. I'm leaning towards that flying spaghetti with meatball though, just some questions. If I join that religion, how many servings a day, and what kinda sauce?
Click to expand...

Did no one tell you about the beer volcano and stripper factory?
 
pelov said:
Just don't pick the wrong one like these other idiots.
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That's why I'm weighing different options; which religion will give me the most benefits, e.g. stocks in religion, signing bonus, accident forgiveness, advancement opportunity, retirement package, etc... The ones with the loosest wimmenz may get the nod though.
 
SSSnail said:
The ones with the loosest wimmenz may get the nod though.
Click to expand...

If you're into noodley appendages then the church of the flying spaghetti monster would suit you well. If on the other hand you enjoy the vajeens, you might want to try the church of vagina (you eat ass).

I hear the Hindus offer reincarnation, but of course there's always the fine print.
 
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