OK ... I see all these threads on ATOT about cheating and relationships...

[manlymatt83]

As you know, I just got out of a two year relationship. See 10+ threads. (sorry, better about that now). I think from now on I'll just post in this thread, hence the topic summary.

Anyway, my biggest fear is that I'm 22, and all these girls out there cheat or lie. The relationship I was in, we never cheated on each other and NEVER lied to each other.... not in the slightest, not even white lies. It wasn't the best relationship ever, but I trusted her. Now, I'm 22, and I'll definitely be looking for another serious relationship (I think I'm moving to North Jersey soon where the quality of women is a little bit better (as long as I find a job)) .... but .... there ARE girls out there who want to be fauthful and serious, right? Or did I just happen to find a special one?

Maybe thats why its so hard to let her go.....

:beer:

 

[KK]

get yourself a 35-40 year old if you dont want any games.

 

[manlymatt83]

games != lieing/cheating

 

[OdiN]

Originally posted by: mjuszczak
games != lieing/cheating

still a waste of time

 

[manlymatt83]

So you're saying a decent girl is hard to come by around 20-22? There's no girls out there interested in serious long-term relationships? Its what I want.

 

[OdiN]

Originally posted by: mjuszczak
So you're saying a decent girl is hard to come by around 20-22? There's no girls out there interested in serious long-term relationships? Its what I want.

They are definitely out there.

 

[George P Burdell]

You can't jump back into the game looking for serious relationships... you gotta take it slow, one step at a time, and see where it goes (if I'm making any sense here).

 

[manlymatt83]

I am... I'm not looking.

I thought I had the one .... and she thought she did too.... until out of no where, overnight, I guess her parents or friends said something to her about "Matt is your first boyfriend. Can you really deal with only dating one person? Huh? Can you? HUH?" ... and then it progressed from there, and I guess she got doubts, and overnight we went from 100% happy to her being confused and us spiraling down.

 

[Conky]

KK is right if you want a sure bet. Older chicks are past the game-playing stage... but any chick can be faithful if the situation is right. There are no hard rules on this stuff.

 

[manlymatt83]

Yeah.... well now its hard cause even if you think you have the right one ... you might not.
I KNOW I want to be with her. She "knows that too".... she still calls and tells me she loves me, misses me, wants to be with me, etc. etc..... yet .... uhhh ... hasn't changed? Girls suck.

 

[Conky]

Originally posted by: mjuszczak
I am... I'm not looking.

I thought I had the one .... and she thought she did too.... until out of no where, overnight, I guess her parents or friends said something to her about "Matt is your first boyfriend. Can you really deal with only dating one person? Huh? Can you? HUH?" ... and then it progressed from there, and I guess she got doubts, and overnight we went from 100% happy to her being confused and us spiraling down.

Be happy you are rid of her now and not after you married her and "fill in the blanks". You dodged a bullet my friend.

 

[manlymatt83]

true ... we still talk though too .... but just in a friendly way.... she gets pissed at that... I miss it too :-( Anyway..... I guess she could always change, but who knows. I could always change too... funny thing is it was al ong distance relationship, but if my plans for July work out, I'll be moving about 10 minutes from her ..... I'm not gonna tell her that though .... that'll hurt too much.

I just don't understand how she could "love me" yet want to date someone else before she sticks with me? I mean ... WTF?

 

[OdiN]

I had "The One" as well...but now I realize that there must be more than one "The One" - either that or I'm screwed.

I could have married her and lived happily the rest of my life with her, but there are others out there that I could as well I'm sure.

 

[manlymatt83]

Why the loss?

 

[OdiN]

Originally posted by: mjuszczak
true ... we still talk though too .... but just in a friendly way.... she gets pissed at that... I miss it too :-( Anyway..... I guess she could always change, but who knows. I could always change too... funny thing is it was al ong distance relationship, but if my plans for July work out, I'll be moving about 10 minutes from her ..... I'm not gonna tell her that though .... that'll hurt too much.

I just don't understand how she could "love me" yet want to date someone else before she sticks with me? I mean ... WTF?

Probably because she doesn't truly love you. It might be similar to love....

I dunno my opinion is that people use the word "love" waaaay too much and don't truly mean it when they say it. It's become overused and doesn't carry meaning as it should because people toss it around left and right and think nothing of it.

 

[OdiN]

Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Why the loss?

Things just didn't work out. Timing wasn't right. Maybe we'll find each other again in the future...I dunno. Maybe I will end up with someone else. Only time will tell.

 

[manlymatt83]

It took us a year to say it... we dated for two, long distance. I know she loved me. What KIND of love it was is a different story. The way I look at it, if she really loves me she'll come back.. And sometimes people can learn to love people more once they date other people and find out what else is out there.

I think I treated her like gold. Her parents didn't think so, they hated me, for no reason other than that I treated her like gold and they had a problem with that. Or that I was liberal. That too I guess.

Anyway, since the last time I saw her i've lost about 15 pounds, and I won't see her again until May... with another 15 off by then hopefully. 30 pounds FTW.

 

[Conky]

Originally posted by: mjuszczak
true ... we still talk though too .... but just in a friendly way.... she gets pissed at that... I miss it too :-( Anyway..... I guess she could always change, but who knows. I could always change too... funny thing is it was al ong distance relationship, but if my plans for July work out, I'll be moving about 10 minutes from her ..... I'm not gonna tell her that though .... that'll hurt too much.

I just don't understand how she could "love me" yet want to date someone else before she sticks with me? I mean ... WTF?

I hate to break it to you but if she wants to date anyone before she sticks with you then you are out. As much as you might feel for her you gotta move on... :beer:

 

[George P Burdell]

Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Yeah.... well now its hard cause even if you think you have the right one ... you might not.
I KNOW I want to be with her. She "knows that too".... she still calls and tells me she loves me, misses me, wants to be with me, etc. etc..... yet .... uhhh ... hasn't changed? Girls suck.

I think you need to talk all this out with the girl, and settle everything one and for all. Sure, you guys might love each other, but that's not enough to save a relationship. Sometimes you need to wake up to reality, count your losses and move on.

Of course here on an online forum, we'll never know the exact situation between you and her, but these are times when you need to me more practical than emotional.

You say you're moving to North Jersey, so will you be moving away from this girl? If yes, you have yet another reason to move on. Long distance realtionship are very, very hard to sustain, especially in the 18-25 age group.

 

[manlymatt83]

Originally posted by: OdiN

Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Why the loss?

Things just didn't work out. Timing wasn't right. Maybe we'll find each other again in the future...I dunno. Maybe I will end up with someone else. Only time will tell.

Good thinking. How I feel too. Are you two still friends? I'm still debating whether I should stay friends with my recent one...

 

[manlymatt83]

Originally posted by: Crazyfool

Originally posted by: mjuszczak
true ... we still talk though too .... but just in a friendly way.... she gets pissed at that... I miss it too :-( Anyway..... I guess she could always change, but who knows. I could always change too... funny thing is it was al ong distance relationship, but if my plans for July work out, I'll be moving about 10 minutes from her ..... I'm not gonna tell her that though .... that'll hurt too much.

I just don't understand how she could "love me" yet want to date someone else before she sticks with me? I mean ... WTF?

I hate to break it to you but if she wants to date anyone before she sticks with you then you are out. As much as you might feel for her you gotta move on... :beer:

She just doesn't want to go through life only having one boyfriend. She even feels like she wants to find someone else just so she can "get her doubts over with and come back to me".

First of all, I WOULDN'T TAKE HER BACK right now. Screw that. But it still hurts. I'm still being friendly with her, but just not showing emotion. I Just don't understand how crap changed over night with her...

 

[manlymatt83]

Originally posted by: George P Burdell

Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Yeah.... well now its hard cause even if you think you have the right one ... you might not.
I KNOW I want to be with her. She "knows that too".... she still calls and tells me she loves me, misses me, wants to be with me, etc. etc..... yet .... uhhh ... hasn't changed? Girls suck.

I think you need to talk all this out with the girl, and settle everything one and for all. Sure, you guys might love each other, but that's not enough to save a relationship. Sometimes you need to wake up to reality, count your losses and move on.

Of course here on an online forum, we'll never know the exact situation between you and her, but these are times when you need to me more practical than emotional.

You say you're moving to North Jersey, so will you be moving away from this girl? If yes, you have yet another reason to move on. Long distance realtionship are very, very hard to sustain, especially in the 18-25 age group.

Your signature is from a post in one of my other threads. Nice

No, I am moving CLOSER to her. her and I have ALWAYS been a long distance relationship, which is something that also bothers her ... I live 2.5 hours from her now. I'll be 10 minutes from her in July if my move works out.... but who knows if it will.

 

[OdiN]

Originally posted by: mjuszczak

Originally posted by: OdiN

Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Why the loss?

Things just didn't work out. Timing wasn't right. Maybe we'll find each other again in the future...I dunno. Maybe I will end up with someone else. Only time will tell.

Good thinking. How I feel too. Are you two still friends? I'm still debating whether I should stay friends with my recent one...

We are very very close friends...but we were very very close friends before getting in a relationship.

 

[George P Burdell]

Originally posted by: mjuszczak

Originally posted by: OdiN

Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Why the loss?

Things just didn't work out. Timing wasn't right. Maybe we'll find each other again in the future...I dunno. Maybe I will end up with someone else. Only time will tell.

Good thinking. How I feel too. Are you two still friends? I'm still debating whether I should stay friends with my recent one...

That would be a huge NO-NO!

 

[manlymatt83]

Originally posted by: mjuszczak

Originally posted by: George P Burdell

Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Yeah.... well now its hard cause even if you think you have the right one ... you might not.
I KNOW I want to be with her. She "knows that too".... she still calls and tells me she loves me, misses me, wants to be with me, etc. etc..... yet .... uhhh ... hasn't changed? Girls suck.

I think you need to talk all this out with the girl, and settle everything one and for all. Sure, you guys might love each other, but that's not enough to save a relationship. Sometimes you need to wake up to reality, count your losses and move on.

Of course here on an online forum, we'll never know the exact situation between you and her, but these are times when you need to me more practical than emotional.

You say you're moving to North Jersey, so will you be moving away from this girl? If yes, you have yet another reason to move on. Long distance realtionship are very, very hard to sustain, especially in the 18-25 age group.

Your signature is from a post in one of my other threads. Nice

No, I am moving CLOSER to her. her and I have ALWAYS been a long distance relationship, which is something that also bothers her ... I live 2.5 hours from her now. I'll be 10 minutes from her in July if my move works out.... but who knows if it will.

She has nothing to do with me moving for the record .... I live in South jersey right now and can't stand it.... My parents and most of my friends live up North....