Originally posted by: newnameman
🙁 What was the surgery?
Gastric By-Pass for health reasons. It was an elective surgery, but she was told that it was one of the only chances she had for having a normal, healthy life. She had been on several out-patient and in-patient bariatric programs as well as pyschotheraphy, etc and nothing would work to help her maintain a healthy body weight. Unfortunately, due to her size she was unable to have the less risky laproscopic kind, so it was a full surgical procedure that had to open her up.
Cause of death is unknown until the autopsy comes back. It could have been anything from a clot, to a pre-existing condition that wasn't discovered, drug interaction, to pretty much anything else. My mother and Aunt feel EXTREMELY guilty about it, because they both too have had gastric by-pass, but they were able to have the laposcopic kind, and they are now in perfect health. My mother is in the best shape and health of her life since she was in her 20's before she had kids. They wonder if they wouldn't have had the surgery if she would have ever had it, but like I said the doctors told her it was really a last-ditch measure for her, otherwise she'd have health problems and a much shorter life-span.
It is really surreal, because she had been doing fine, although she was in pain. My cousin was asleep and the nurse came to check on her and she was just unresponsive. My friend is actually a nurse up there but in a different part of the hospital, and she heard the code called last night.
My cousin is just heart-broken as are the rest of us. I cannot imagine what it is like to lose a spouse, but I know what the kids are feeling -- my brother and I have been there. They are a little younger than I was, so it is even harder for them to comprehend it. They were told she went to heaven and wouldn't be coming back, but I don't really think they understand it just yet. Jonny is in K-4 and Jade is in 1st grade, so I'd imagine the idea of death -- especially of your Mommy isn't something they know much about.
She was the heart and soul of the family -- my cousin is a great father, but had to work a lot and was going to school. She worked as well and was taking a couple of classes, but she did all the cooking and cleaning. They live with my Aunt and Uncle to make ends meet, so at least they will be there to help out. They've been living there for several years now, so the kids will have a sense of stability through this.
It really just doesn't feel real. I knew she was having the surgery, but it was in the back of my mind because my mother's and aunt's had gone so well. When my mother called me I was just in shock and didn't even remember the surgery until she said that was what happened. She had the surgery Wednesday, and she passed at about 2AM Friday.
🙁
Thanks for all the kind words folks, I just have to sometimes let something like this out, because as a family you can only say so much to each other without getting even more upset. It is really brutal for the family, because one set of cousins lost their mother when they were young in a car accident, and then my brother and I lost our father in a plane crash. Another tragedy like this, and we just wonder when it will end.