Official "funniest lines from the Simpsons"thread

[TimidOCer]

(homer licking toads)
Marge - "Homer are you licking toads?"
Homer - "Im not not licking toads."


marge - "Homer I dont want you stalking anyone"
homer - "Ok."
homer - "Im going outside......... to................stalk........... lenny and carl.. yes (looks happy at his lie which wasnt a lie lol)"

 

[limsandy]

My favorite: "What's the number for 911?" - Homer

 

[JeremyJoe]

"Go Banana!!!!" -Ralph

"Thats where i saw the Leprechan. He told me to burn things." -Ralph

 

[JeremyJoe]

"Hi SuperNintendo Chalmers" - Ralph

sorry this one just brings back the memories

 

[murphy55d]

Ralph: "Uhm, Miss Hoover?"
Miss Hoover: "Yes Ralph what is it?"
Ralph: "My worm went in my mouth and then I ate it, can I have a new one?"

 

[AZGamer]

Bart : "There's a badger in there."
Homer : "Badger my a$$, it's probably just Milhouse"

Homer goes in dog hous, violent noises

Homer : "Yep, that's a badger, or possibly a griffon."

 

[Deeko]

This is the best thread to ever grace AT...and it shall remain alive, I will see to it

 

[AZGamer]

Bart: "This is Furious D. The horse with attitude and phattitude. Show him some latitude and you'll win his gratitude."

 

[Deeko]

lol sorry I had to bring this back up

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

"My ass-groove! He ruined my ass-groove! That bastard!"

Nik

 

[KeyserSoze]

I posted this a few weeks ago, but these quotes are worthy of mentioning again. Both are from the episode when Homer becomes a food critic.

Editor: "Homer, is this review for real?"
Homer: "Umm..yes. Why?"
Editor: "Well Homer, in this food review, you make numerous death threats to the UN. And at the end, you keep on repeating 'Screw Flanders."


ANOTHER LINE:

Italian Chef (In the Italian Accent) : "That Homer, he give my restaurant a bad review. So I tell my friend, and my friend put a horses head in Homer's bed. Homer, he eat the Horses head, and he give THAT a bad review."






KeyserSoze

 

[CStroman]

Ralph Wiggim, regarding a scour pad:

"It's cold and hurty."

 

[StinkyMeat]

"Are you wearing a paper bag?"

Homer - "I have misplaced my pants."

See sig.

 

[Anubis]

"ohh they have the internet on computers now" - Homer

i love that one

 

[Zenmervolt]

Scorpio: "And Homer, if you could kill someone on your way out it would really help me."

Marge: "I've started drinking two glasses of wine every day. I know they say you should drink three but I just can't drink that much."

ZV

 

[ceLLriOT]

"My Cat's Breathe smells like cat food" -Ralph

That one definately takes the cake.

 

[calbear2000]

Homer when he was hanging out with the college geeks: "Oh might Unix... is there anything you can't do?"

 

[mk]

Sideshow Bob: "Well if it isn't my arch nemesis Bart Simpson and his sister Lisa towards whom I'm fairly indifferent."
Sideshow Bob: "Attempted murder, what is that? Do they give Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Well, do they?"

Rainier Wolfcastle:"My eyes! They're burning! These goggles do nothing."

Lionel Hutz: "I've argued in front of every court in this state. Often as a lawyer."

 

[Ender]

"Go Banana!"- Ralph Wiggum when Bart and Milhouse were racing with an apple and a grapefruit.

 

[Daishiki]

German or Japanse Guy (forgot): Mr. Simpson. Mr. Simpson. MR. SIMPSON!!!
Homer: Oh yea, we were talking about land of chocolate?
Guy: That was 10 MIN AGO!!!

Hello, may i speak to a Seymore. Seymore Butts.
Moe: Seymore Butts. I wanna Seymore Butts.

Hello, may i speak to Homer. Homer Sexual.
Homer: Whew, i'm glad that's not my name.

::Snff snff::. Unleaded? It takes premium, dude. PREMIUM!!!

Must..kill..Moe... weeeeee! Must...kill...Moe...

Not a quote but memorable:
After pulling the rug on the two agents after the 1 trillion dollar bill, homer puts one guys hand on the others butt.

i know plenty more, i just can't remember them all because i got 3 midterms to worry about rite now. =Þ

 

[mk]

Homer: "Doh! Nuts! Mmmm ... donuts."
Homer: "Mmmm ... free goo."
Homer: "Mmmm ... reprocessed pig fat"

 

[Shalmanese]

<< 3 favorites-

"When you dont like your job you dont strike. You go in and do it really half assed. THATS THE AMERICAN WAY!" -Homer-

"Alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of lifes problems"

"what do you have to drink?"
"Mountain Dew or Crab Juice"
"EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW. I'll have the crab juice"

you see, the last one is funny becuase most people in today society within the United States are very used to Mt. Dew, while crab juice is something that is rare and most people havent had, even wouldnt like to try. But you see Homer, says EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW, and you think he is saying that about the crab juice, but actually he is saying that about the Mt. Dew, therefore he chooses to drink the crab juice, which to most americans is not the normal choice. >>



Explaining satire doesn't work mmkay?

 

[Thrillhou]

Burns: You there, hand me an open faced club, a sand wedge.

Homer: Mmmmm, open faced club sandwich.


Milhouse: This is the best game ever and I've only entered my name.

 

[Shalmanese]

Another Pet hate of mine is when peopel misquote.

grrr

 

[killface]

<< Homer when he was hanging out with the college geeks: "Oh might Unix... is there anything you can't do?" >>


Ummm, I don't think that's the line, but it would be cool. I think it was somethign closer to "Nerds, is there anything they can't do"