Here is a little something written by Jeremy Allford of AllGamesNetwork fame back in '98 I believe, that I'm sure you'll all enjoy.
Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house,
Not a monitor was burning, not even the Dell,
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
With hopes that the Best Buy Electronic guys soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
As visions of DVD-ROM spun in their heads,
And I in my T-Shirt and Mom in her cap,
Had just settled down for what we told the kids was a nap;
When out in the livingroom there arose such a clatter,
I rose from my bed to see what was the matter,
Away to the hallway I flew like a flash,
Tore open the door and stared in with a gasp;
Sitting in the computer chair was a man dressed in red,
Who was sitting down watching Godzilla on the computer,
With one look to me with his fingers to his lips,
I knew he was afraid that my scream would disturb the kids;
He pointed to me quietly to come over to him,
And when I did he showed me the DVD kit I had bought for Jim,
He pointed to the two speakers that were connected to the computer,
And turned up the volume so I could see what was the matter;
Godzilla was running with screams from the crowd,
With gunfire and more that sounded pretty loud,
But when I listened closer I realized the problem,
This DVD I just paid for, sounds worse than my VCR;
I cried out to him, as he started a laughter,
And my anger rose more because I knew what was the matter,
I then said "I thought DVD was better, in picture and sound,
Yet now the audio is worse and I had to lay $300 down.";
He continued to smile as he turned to his bag,
And pulled something out that was made by Creative Labs,
I was not sure what it was, but it must have lots of features,
And just then he turned the box and it said Desktop Theater;
With a snap of his fingers and a twist of his nose,
The speakers were plugged in and ready to go,
He turned on Godzilla, for yet another try,
As I was bathed in the image of the digital audio on light;
The speakers turned on and Godzilla Roared out,
As machine guns and jeeps all sounded around,
Off in the distance I heard such a boom,
As the sound of the subwoofer filled the room;
Suddenly I turned and the man in red was gone,
He had ran out through the front door and out on the lawn,
As I ran to the door to see where he had gone,
I yelled out to thank him for what he had done;
He turned back and said, "Hey dude that?s alright,
You gave up your camcorder and Laptop without even a fight,
And all that I had to do was give you some speakers,
That I lifted from a house on 15th and Meekherst.";
I turned with a cry and realized what I had done,
Giving away all my valuables to that thief on the run,
I may have been ripped off, and surely I was gullible,
But those Desktop Theater Speakers were well worth my deductible.
Happy Holidays to everyone!
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