cut/pasted from imdb.
Memorable Quotes from
Office Space (1999)
Drew: I'm thinking about taking that new chick from Logistics. If things go right I might be showing her my O-face. You know: Oh! Oh!
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Tom Smykowski: It's a "Jump to Conclusions Mat"! You see, you have this mat, with different CONCLUSIONS written on it that you could JUMP TO!
Michael Bolton: That is the worst idea I've ever heard!
Samir: Yes, this is horrible, this idea!
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Peter Gibbons: I don't like my job and I don't think I'll go anymore.
Joanna: You're just not gonna go?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Joanna: Won't you get fired?
Peter Gibbons: I don't know. But I really don't like it and, uh, I'm not gonna go.
Joanna: So you're gonna quit?
Peter Gibbons: Uh-uh. Not really. I'm just gonna stop going.
Joanna: When did you decide all that?
Peter Gibbons: About an hour ago.
Joanna: So you're going to get another job?
Peter Gibbons: I don't think I'll like another job.
Joanna: Well what are you going to do about money? Bills?
Peter Gibbons: You know I never really liked paying bills, I don't think I'm going to do that either.
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Bob Slydell: If you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door--that way Lumberg can't see me, heh--after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.
Steve: Hi, my name is Steve. I come from a rough area. I used to be addicted to crack but now I am off it and trying to stay clean. That is why I am selling magazine subscriptions.
Michael Bolton: We're not going to some white collar resort prison. No, no, no! We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison!
Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
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Peter Gibbons: What am I gonna do with 40 subscriptions to "Vibe"?