Now revealed.... Red Dawn's last employee performance evaluation

[glenn1]

The truth revealed....

Mr. Red Dawn has been responsible for the changes in our work group dynamics. He prefers to work under minimal supervision. Many wonder at the extent of his knowledge. A reevaluation of his salary is long overdue. Mr. Red Dawn frequently thinks "outside the box" and he shows potential for unbounded improvement. It would be accurate to say that as an employee, he is a management textbook example. Mr. Red Dawn knows the value of office equipment. He is not afraid to ask questions that check the assumptions of others.

 

[DaiShan]

FROM THE DESK OF THE EVIL HUMAN
RESOURCES DIRECTOR:

Performance Appraisal for General Russ:

His core values show through in his work. He has proven to be one of the company's larger investments. A reevaluation of his assignments may be in order. General Russ has left his mark on the division. General Russ does the kind of work you don't expect to see today. General Russ is willing to take risks.

* In Strict Confidence *

They didn't have a Mayoral prefix, so I chose General instead.....

 

[monotony]

"He shows an interest in related tasks not assigned to him and he has left his mark on the division. His usefulness to the division is self evident. His name is frequently mentioned in executive meetings. Mr. monotony frequently thinks "outside the box". He has proven to be one of the company's larger investments. His worth to the company can only be imagined. As an employee, he is a management textbook example. Not surprisingly, he sets a compelling example for the younger employees. "

man, if that were only true....hehe

 

[SSP]

That generator is bs. Keep going back and hit generate, and it'll give you a different evaluation all the time.

Anyway, what I got:

His work sets Mr. SSP apart from his peers. It is apparent that the possibility of hiring more employees like Mr. SSP should be discussed immediately. Our company benefits have not been wasted on him and many employees have indicated that they are eager to comment on his work. He has left his mark on the division. A thorough analysis of his performance will surprise you. His usefulness to the division is self evident. Many wonder at the extent of his knowledge. His performance defies measurement.



I'm special.

 

[SaltBoy]

Performance Appraisal for Mr. Saltboy:
Such an employee demonstrates the importance of proper recruiting. His full capabilities have only been recently discovered. A thorough analysis of his performance will surprise you. He prefers to work under minimal supervision and a reevaluation of his assignments may be in order. Many employees have indicated that they are eager to comment on his work. His work sets him apart from his peers. It's tough for management to keep up with Mr. Saltboy and his work may greatly impact the company.

Hmmm... seems somewhat accurate -- at least that minimal supervision part!

 

[Mrburns2007]

Performance Appraisal for General mayhem:
He was tasked with many assignments this year and he has name recognition throughout the divisions. He has a wide variety of interests and pursuits and he is not afraid to ask questions that check the assumptions of others. General mayhem works behind the scenes. The possibility of hiring more employees like General mayhem should be discussed immediately. His usefulness to the division is self evident.

 

[thebestMAX]

Heres mine:

Performance Appraisal for Mr. tbMax:

He works behind the scenes. He has proven to be one of the company's larger investments. His name is frequently mentioned in executive meetings. Mr. tbMax prefers to work under minimal supervision. For completeness I should mention that Mr. tbMax knows the value of office equipment.

 

[UltraQuiet]

Mr. Sohmer does the kind of work you don't expect to see today and the quality of his work is well known. Mr. Sohmer has left his mark on the division. His core values show through in his work. Without a doubt, many wonder at the extent of his knowledge. In fact, many employees have indicated that they are eager to comment on his work. The record should state that he has been responsible for the changes in our work group dynamics. Not surprisingly, no one has caught Mr. Sohmer sleeping on the job. Our company benefits have not been wasted on him.

 

[Tallgeese]

Our company benefits have not been wasted on Mr. Tallgeese and his core values show through in his work. He shows an interest in related tasks not assigned to him. Mr. Tallgeese is willing to take risks. The possibility of hiring more employees like Mr. Tallgeese should be discussed immediately. Mr. Tallgeese has a wide variety of interests and pursuits.

downright spooky, folks :Q

 

[mk]

His work may greatly impact the company. A thorough analysis of his performance will surprise you. He has been responsible for the changes in our work group dynamics. Mr. Mk4 never appears stressed about his work. The record should state that his full capabilities have only been recently discovered. He was tasked with many assignments this year and he is willing to take risks. Many wonder at the extent of his knowledge. It is important to note that any division would be lucky to get Mr. Mk4 to work for them.

 

[apoppin]

Mr. apoppin actively pursues relationships with his coworkers. As an employee, he is a management textbook example. Mr. apoppin is willing to take risks. His worth to the company can only be imagined. His work may greatly impact the company.