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Now I'm freaked out - I need a woman's perspective on this

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Dude , you freaked her out. And it may be an issue until you both talk about it a lot more than you have. The job, not marriage. That will play into the marriage conversation.
Good luck, Safe flying...
 
Originally posted by: grasshopper26
Oh my god, I'm so stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need to go see her and tell her I'm not flying tomorrow, that would explain some things she said on the phone tonight... I may lose my job if I don't fly tomorrow however... but that doesn't matter, she is a million times more imporant... ouch, that is going to hurt, I hope my boss likes me... I won't be able to replace that job in the current aviation market...

Grasshopper
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gaaaahhhH! I wasn't suggesting that! Jeeze man don't quit your job tonight!!!! and don't hold it against me if it doesn't work out!

I hope you haven't left your house yet, and I hope that you can read this: THINK, STOP for a second, BREATHE DEEPLY, I know that sounds like bullshit but it really does help. don't let your emotions get the best of you. Jesus Christ, what have I done. Well, I didn't completely do it, but I certainly helped him along. Christ.
 
Originally posted by: bizmark
where exactly did she say she wanted to be asked to marry you in 6 months?
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She went on and on about it, spent a good 5 minutes on the subject. She has obviously given this a lot of thought, it was more than a single sentence.

"A few years" doesn't mean that she wants to be married and have kids in 2 years! Geeze, that was just a few words out of her mouth, and I'm sure she wasn't in the most reasoning state of mind in the first place, and in the second place "a few years" is ambiguous enough even when somebody's in a reasonable state of mind! Did she say something else, or are all of your worries about your "plan" stemming from this one comment she made?
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I don't know, you're asking me now? That is what it sounded like, or what I heard...

I don't think I'm in my right mind right now, I'm freaked out, tired, stressed from today, etc...

and as much as I want to punch you in the face every time I see you do this, I feel it's necessary now:

*hug*

take a chill pill, man.
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Gimmie three of them...
 
Originally posted by: bizmark

gaaaahhhH! I wasn't suggesting that! Jeeze man don't quit your job tonight!!!! and don't hold it against me if it doesn't work out!

I hope you haven't left your house yet, and I hope that you can read this: THINK, STOP for a second, BREATHE DEEPLY, I know that sounds like bullshit but it really does help. don't let your emotions get the best of you. Jesus Christ, what have I done. Well, I didn't completely do it, but I certainly helped him along. Christ.
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I'm not planning to quit, but my boss might fire me over this... She has a big client to be flown tomorrow and he is one of those self imporant pr|cks who thinks the world revolves around them...

My boss takes it very seriously that pilots should show up when they are scheduled to fly, my only saving grace would be that after today's near crash, she might be more understanding...

I can't go see Thumper tonight now anyway, she lives nearly 30 minutes away I'm not fit to drive... I'm so tired I cannot see straight... either way, I'm not flying tomorrow, I'm upset over Thumper and I'm probably far more stressed out over the near crash than I give myself credit for...

Grasshopper
 
Dont go over there. This is just like my gf when i have come close to killing myself in several ways and when i had some health problems. She doesnt want you to come over because she will lose it and start crying in front of you and she doesnt want you to see that. my gf hates to cry in front of me because she thinks it makes me feel guilty etc. Just give her some space, let her calm down and talk to her tomorrow.
 
Originally posted by: grasshopper26
I'm not planning to quit, but my boss might fire me over this...

[snip]

either way, I'm not flying tomorrow
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that's what I meant man, not flying tomorrow is essentially quitting your job. Although you do have a very good excuse.... you could say that you had a panic attack last night (which is actually probably pretty close to the truth) and that you think you need a few days off from flying. Whatever you do, good luck, and you can call me if you want to.
 
She just called me back... I figured she had cried herself to sleep, but she was talking to her Mom on the phone...

I was right, she was freaked that I was flying in the morning, she said she didn't want to ask, that it wasn't fair, but she wanted me to not fly tomorrow. I told her not to worry, that I wasn't going to fly tomorrow, she seemed really happy to hear that.

Her Mom told her to come over here, so she is on the way over now. We're both dead tired so I'm sure we'll just fall asleap, but it will be wonderful having her here, that is all I really wanted in the first place.

She said she would call in sick tomorrow, so we'll have all day tomorrow to talk...

Thanks gang, you're the best!!!

Me <--- feeling much better now that I know she's coming over and what was really freaking her out so much...
 
Originally posted by: Ciber
Dont go over there. This is just like my gf when i have come close to killing myself in several ways and when i had some health problems. She doesnt want you to come over because she will lose it and start crying in front of you and she doesnt want you to see that. my gf hates to cry in front of me because she thinks it makes me feel guilty etc. Just give her some space, let her calm down and talk to her tomorrow.
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She doesn't mind crying in front of me, that is why I was so freaked out, this was so unlike her, WAY out of charater for her...

I couldn't figure out why she was pushing me away at a time when we needed to be together the most... she was having a panic over the fact that I told her I was flying tomorrow, just a day after nearly crashing.

I can understand that, I guess I was kinda freaked over it, I wasn't thinking clearly, but I was talked into flying tomorrow somehow, I wasn't up for an arguement today... maybe I'm more upset over today than I realize...

Grasshopper
 
I don't think she expects a proposal -- just that she's worried about you. My husband works in a somewhat high-risk profession and I had to seriously think about that once we started talking about marriage. Play it by ear, but I think she is just trying to learn to cope, or decide if she can cope, with your job.
 
It's a little more complicated than just crying, she is also probably mad at you in a weird womanly way for putting yourself in danger/having a dangerous job.....believe me they get pretty weird when we nearly kill ourselves with our toys or god knows what 😛...
 
Originally posted by: bizmark
*whew* glad things are taking a turn for the better. Thank God for Moms, eh? 🙂
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Her Mom told her to call me back and ask me to not fly tomorrow. Since she knows that flying is my life (other than her of course), she didn't want to do it. Took her Mom an hour to talk her into it...

You should have heard the relief in her voice when I told her I was not flying tomorrow, you would have thought I just cured cancer... 🙂

Her Mom lives in New York, it is 3:30am there, Thumper must have been panicked out of her mind to call her Mom this late... I knew something was really wrong, I just didn't know what...

I cannot describe the relief I feel knowing she is on her way over here... I knew that we needed to be together tonight, it tore me up to think somehow we wouldn't be...

Grasshopper
 
Originally posted by: bizmark

that's what I meant man, not flying tomorrow is essentially quitting your job. Although you do have a very good excuse.... you could say that you had a panic attack last night (which is actually probably pretty close to the truth) and that you think you need a few days off from flying. Whatever you do, good luck, and you can call me if you want to.
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I might be quiting anyway, I might have to take time off from flying for awhile, perhaps for both of our sakes.
 
Originally posted by: Jfur
I don't think she expects a proposal -- just that she's worried about you. My husband works in a somewhat high-risk profession and I had to seriously think about that once we started talking about marriage. Play it by ear, but I think she is just trying to learn to cope, or decide if she can cope, with your job.
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If it came down to it, she wins over the job any day of the week. I love flying more than anything, except her...

This is the first time I've had a serious problem while I've been with her. A few minor things in the past, but nothing this serious. 🙁

But I do hope it doesn't come down to that, I don't even want to think about it right now... 🙁 all I care about is that she is driving over here now, and that is all I wanted, was to be with her...

Grasshopper
 
I hope everything works out Grasshopper...I hate seeing such a good person in so much distress 🙁 Good luck with everything..
 
Originally posted by: grasshopper26
Originally posted by: bizmark

that's what I meant man, not flying tomorrow is essentially quitting your job. Although you do have a very good excuse.... you could say that you had a panic attack last night (which is actually probably pretty close to the truth) and that you think you need a few days off from flying. Whatever you do, good luck, and you can call me if you want to.
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I might be quiting anyway, I might have to take time off from flying for awhile, perhaps for both of our sakes.
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You have no idea how much that will mean to her.....
 
Originally posted by: Ciber
It's a little more complicated than just crying, she is also probably mad at you in a weird womanly way for putting yourself in danger/having a dangerous job.....believe me they get pretty weird when we nearly kill ourselves with our toys or god knows what 😛...
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It is a danger I accept, I know the risks and they do not bother me... it seems like they bother her far more than she had been letting on.

Sigh... I'm so tired I can hardly see straight, I'm sure we'll be asleap in 5 minutes once she gets here...

Grasshopoppr
 
Mark my words: If you marry this woman, either now or 18 months from now, you can kiss your flying career goodbye! She will nag you to death to quit. Unless of course, flying is not a passion for you, but only a job. Somehow, I don't think so; I am yet to meet a pilot who doesn't live for a day in the skies. Before popping the question or even considering getting married ask yourself wether you're willing to make such sacrifice.

 
A not -so- insignificant generalization that is easily understood / explained ... more people are killed in traffic accidents than in plane crashes. Drive safely y'all.....
 
Originally posted by: grasshopper26Believe it or not, I'm flying tomorrow. The boss doesn't have anyone else who can fly the 407 and with the JetRanger down, I have to fly. That is the other problem with going over there, I'll never be at work in the morning and my job would be at risk...
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Whoa...no wonder she's so freaked. I would have thought you'd be taking a few days off...
I can't believe your boss would fire you for not flying the day after a near fatal accident...
I just assumed you wouldn't be flying for a few days at least.

I'm glad to hear you talked to her and sorted things out, and you definately shouldn't be going up again tommorow (today I guess lol)...I hope your boss doesn't fire you for this, you'd think the boss would be a little more understanding.

If your boss won't give you a day off after something like that, I think you need to re-evaluate if you really want to work for this person. I wouldn't want a boss that was putting me under that kind of emotional and mental strain. But then that's me.

In any case, you shouldn't be flying so soon, and good luck with cheering her up...and yourself. Don't ignore your own mental state, clearly you are a little more out to lunch than you seem to think.
 
Crap. My fiancee goes crazy-paranoid scared like that if I get bruised in a sparring match. If I'm injured (I was hobbling last weekend) she's utterly NUTS. I'd hate to see what would happen if it was a near-death experience. :Q

Best of luck ...

- M4H
 
Originally posted by: RyanSengara
Originally posted by: guyver01
you almost die and SHE has issues??

i'll never understand women 😕
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Not that complicated really.

He almost dies, then plans the next day to go right back to the same activity that almost killed him.

She needs some time to calm down and get over the fact that he's just fine, nothing bad happened to him.
I would think he needs that same time to calm down.
They are probably both having just a tad of hysteria in their lives right now.
 
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