Nothing but whores and hockey players in Canada.

[Wingznut]

A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked
to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him
that they only sold whole heads of lettuce.

The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole
wants to buy a half a head of lettuce."

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right
behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the
other half."

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later the
manager found the boy and said, "I was impressed with the way you got
yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet
here. Where are you from, son?"

"Canada, sir," the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there."

"Really!" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada!

The boy replied, "No kidding???? Who did she play for?"

 

[RedRooster]

Now THAT, is a joke my friend!!!!
ROFLMAO!!!

 

[bleeb]

What does he say when the manager replys:

"She didn't play hockey."??

 

[ShotgunSteven]

I predict an encore performance in here from the ignorant folks that were performing in the France-bashing Thread.

 

[Locutus of Board]

One day while at his best friend, Jim's house, Norris decides that he
desperately needed a shag.
Jim,I know I can ask you this because we are such good mates and all. I
need a shag, can I shag your wife "please?", said Norris.
Jim thinks about it for a while and finally says, "Because we are such
good friends, Norris, yes you can. But be warned, do NOT go down on her.
Understand?".
Norris nods and heads upstairs to where Jim's wife is tucked up in bed.
He quickly went to work, but he was over come with an incredible sudden
urge to go down on her. But he remembered what Jim had said and
restrained himself.
After finishing he went downstairs and watched a little more TV. An hour
or so later, Norris said.
"Jim? Can I shag her again please?. To which Jim replied "OK, but
remember,don't go down on her!!!".
Norris happily bounded up the stairs and into the bedroom pounced on
Jim's wife and was about to start shagging her when he decided he HAD to
go down on her, he couldn't help himself.
Meanwhile, Jim sat happily watching the TV heard Norris being sick
upstairs followed by him running down the stairs looking decidedly ill.
"What's wrong Norris?".
"I'm sorry Jim, I know you told me not to, but I couldn't help
myself..."
"You went down on her didn't you Norris!!!!" said Jim looking horrified.
"I got a mouth full of rice!!!" said Norris disgusted!
"That wasn't rice Norris, she's been dead three weeks!!"

 

[RedRooster]

No, no, no. That is just not right.

 

[johndoe52]

lol....very nice.

 

[tweakmm]

<< One day while at his best friend, Jim's house, Norris decides that he
desperately needed a shag.
Jim,I know I can ask you this because we are such good mates and all. I
need a shag, can I shag your wife "please?", said Norris.
Jim thinks about it for a while and finally says, "Because we are such
good friends, Norris, yes you can. But be warned, do NOT go down on her.
Understand?".
Norris nods and heads upstairs to where Jim's wife is tucked up in bed.
He quickly went to work, but he was over come with an incredible sudden
urge to go down on her. But he remembered what Jim had said and
restrained himself.
After finishing he went downstairs and watched a little more TV. An hour
or so later, Norris said.
"Jim? Can I shag her again please?. To which Jim replied "OK, but
remember,don't go down on her!!!".
Norris happily bounded up the stairs and into the bedroom pounced on
Jim's wife and was about to start shagging her when he decided he HAD to
go down on her, he couldn't help himself.
Meanwhile, Jim sat happily watching the TV heard Norris being sick
upstairs followed by him running down the stairs looking decidedly ill.
"What's wrong Norris?".
"I'm sorry Jim, I know you told me not to, but I couldn't help
myself..."
"You went down on her didn't you Norris!!!!" said Jim looking horrified.
"I got a mouth full of rice!!!" said Norris disgusted!
"That wasn't rice Norris, she's been dead three weeks!!" >>


:disgust::|:Q:Q:|:disgust:

 

[gopunk]

oh my god.

 

[dave127]

that norris one is just nasty

 

[Sugadaddy]

LMAO @ the first joke

The second one is gross...:disgust:

 

[Looney]

The Canadian joke was great! That's a keeper!

But Locutus of Board, that is freaking nasty

 

[Kntx]

That joke actually started out as a "There's nothing but whores and hockey players in North Bay" joke. I don't know when it changed to encompass all of Canada.

 

[Viper0329]

*running to puke

that first joke was awesome