Not Wanting Kids Is Entirely Normal

[Ns1]

And what if that's not true for me? Then I'm stuck with a life long commitment I don't want as the article talks about. That's not fair to the kid(s), not healthy for them or myself, and I think we can all agree would not be a good environment for anybody.

yep, I sure as fuck wouldn't play that game ("you don't know until you try")

 

[rh71]

yep, I sure as fuck wouldn't play that game ("you don't know until you try")

What I honestly meant was your thoughts may be one thing now until you have a child to call your own. If you don't experience that feeling for yourself, you are judging on something you've never felt.

And I did add that it's too bad for many you can't return them. Your choice, undoubtedly.

For me, I do get goose bumps and all that jazz when my kids do something amazing (to me) - they learn and apply and there's this proud feeling. You know how people say "they wouldn't trade it for the world"... yeah that.

 

[Mixolydian]

"you never know until you try" imo.

Taking a gamble with a human life? And what happens if you try but don't like it? You not only fucked yourself, but your offspring as well.

 

[Ns1]

What I honestly meant was your thoughts may be one thing now until you have a child to call your own. If you don't experience that feeling for yourself, you are judging on something you've never felt.

I get that, but I'm not willing to take the risk to find out because that's unfair for EVERYONE involved. Kids should be born into families that want them IMHO

I'll parent vicariously through my dogs

 

[nickbits]

I hope you have a prenup, sooner or later she will want, its biologically hardcoded in them.

We don't. If it comes to that, at least I will be rid of her dog as well.

 

[rh71]

Taking a gamble with a human life? And what happens if you try but don't like it? You not only fucked yourself, but your offspring as well.

I'm pretty sure I've explained it.

 

[DrunkenSano]

Well, I've made 30k a year supported family of 2 (at the time) in one of the most expensive states to live in.

Did your wife work? I highly doubt that 30k salary is enough to raise two kids in an expensive state like New Jersey. You have rent/mortgage, bills to pay, necessities to buy, and who knows what other debts to take care of.

 

[rickon66]

I never wanted to have children, but I ended up marrying a divorced lady with a 7 year old girl. The marriage part worked out well but the child part not so much and it re-affirmed my ideas about children. At age 35 the child is a royal pain in the ass, she has two boys and she uses them as weapons of revenge on my wife.

 

[Ksyder]

Lol, enjoy your popcorn, but there will not be a show.

no offense... but thats kind of odd... do you stalk his posts or something

 

[Aikouka]

I thought that I wanted kids for awhile, but then I thought about it some more. I ended up asking myself, "Why do you want children?" I couldn't really think of a reason other than that I'm supposed to, and in some ways, I could potentially raise an outstanding (or at least good) person/people. What I realized is that out of that... I never stated any personal desire to have children. I can't stand the thought of noisy, rambunctious children... especially the noisy part. In some ways, it is kind of selfish of me. I honestly don't want to give up the life that I'm currently living.

actually the shave was good and bad. they said not to do it myself. i come in and a cute nurse had ot do it. when she was done i was pretty much fully erect..

Was that awkward for you at all? I'm sure she gets it a lot, but it might seem... strange. :$

 

[Thyra]

no offense... but thats kind of odd... do you stalk his posts or something

None taken. And, the answer is no.

 

[AreaCode707]

I have never wanted kids. Almost inevitably the response to that is, "aww, just wait a few years! " I've been hearing that since I was 12 when I first knew I didn't want kids. I'm now 29 and still as absolutely sure as ever.

One of my reasons is that I simply don't like children. I am averse to holding an infant, definitely do not want to touch a toddler, dislike being hugged by a young child, and have only select children I enjoy talking too, all of whom were lightly brushed by the Autism spectrum. I simply do not look at a child and think, "awww, cute!" My gut reaction is not and never has been one of affection towards that mini-person.

On the flip side, I very much enjoy kids 14+ years of age. Have volunteered with teens for years, and my husband and I will probably someday foster-adopt teens. I'd enjoy the interaction a lot more than if I had to build my own and wait 14 years for them to get interesting. And, while this is perhaps slightly horrible, investing 4+ years in a bunch of kids rather than 18+ years in two strikes me as better odds for eventually liking the resulting adult offspring.

Add to that a health issue I have that has strong genetic predictors, and I'm perfectly happy with my life plans.

 

[OverVolt]

It's surprising how many people have this attitude that "oh, you'll change your mind" when I tell them I don't want children. When I tell them I'm dating a woman who doesn't want kids they get even worse and insist she's lying.

This isn't meant to be an anti-kids post BTW. Obviously the majority of people DO want children, if they didn't we'd be going extinct. It's not a universal desire though, despite what some people claim.

Good bye nice people genes, they will be missed. Me and my future kids will do battle with a world full of douchebags. Its a good thing you gave up, more food for my kids etc.

 

[OverVolt]

To leave a legacy, der. I'm glad my parents had me, and so on.

 

[waggy]

Was that awkward for you at all? I'm sure she gets it a lot, but it might seem... strange. :$

oh hell yeah it was. she laughed and said it happens all the time. shit considering she was hto its no wonder.

 

[OverVolt]

People who don't want kids are QUICKLY eliminated from the game of life.

 

[Ns1]

Good bye nice people genes, they will be missed. Me and my future kids will do battle with a world full of douchebags. Its a good thing you gave up, more food for my kids etc.

We live in that world now, and I blame it on parents who have kids they don't want or can't support.

To your second point, yes I agree. It is good that some of us are making the decision not to procreate because there is no fucking way the world can just keep on popping kids out.

My genetics teacher had a comic on his door, the monkeys -> man darwin graphic. It said in speech bubbles "eat. survive. reproduce." "eat. survive. reproduce." over each of the monkeys. Then it got to the man and he ponders "whats this all about"

Isn't that the joy of being a human? We can think beyond that eat/survive/reproduce cycle.

 

[waggy]

I get that, but I'm not willing to take the risk to find out because that's unfair for EVERYONE involved. Kids should be born into families that want them IMHO

I'll parent vicariously through my dogs

exactly.

sometimes though dogs are worse then children! lol.

 

[jagec]

Did your wife work? I highly doubt that 30k salary is enough to raise two kids in an expensive state like New Jersey. You have rent/mortgage, bills to pay, necessities to buy, and who knows what other debts to take care of.

I see this opinion being expressed all the time in ATOT, and I just don't get it. It's like there is a massive group of people who have NO idea what it's like to not grow up in a 6-figure household.

 

[Ns1]

exactly.

sometimes though dogs are worse then children! lol.

agreed, except with waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay less liability

I see this opinion being expressed all the time in ATOT, and I just don't get it. It's like there is a massive group of people who have NO idea what it's like to not grow up in a 6-figure household.

It's just different now than it was back then. Housing is unattainable for most, and many who are in prime baby making ages are saddled with college debt.

To add to that, some of us who grew up in poor ass families would not subject our kids to the same shit that we had to deal with while growing up. Sure we could, but naaaaaaaaaah fuck that. I don't want my kids to eat vienna sausage straight out of the can on white rice with salt and pepper. That is NOT good eats.

 

[waggy]

I see this opinion being expressed all the time in ATOT, and I just don't get it. It's like there is a massive group of people who have NO idea what it's like to not grow up in a 6-figure household.

yeah i agree.

but i think its a sign of the times. To many buy these huge houses and tons of useless stuff. i never understood why a family of 4 needs a 4k sq/ft house and TV's in every room.

same with cars. people buy new cars every 1-3 years. why?

then they complain they can't afford kids and such. look at how you are living and think about how you grew up. its insane.

 

[rh71]

I see this opinion being expressed all the time in ATOT, and I just don't get it. It's like there is a massive group of people who have NO idea what it's like to not grow up in a 6-figure household.

wait are you saying it's possible to live on 30k in places like NJ? Our annual property tax is almost 16k by itself (it was already 10k in a small 3 bedroom). NJ is expensive too. 1 year (10 months) of preschool costs us $8k per child and that's at a cheaper co-op. We have twins so that's already $32k gone.

 

[coldmeat]

People who don't want kids are QUICKLY eliminated from the game of life.

Evolution doesn't happen on a personal scale. Once you die, you're removed from the "game of life" as well, having kids doesn't change that.

 

[OverVolt]

Evolution doesn't happen on a personal scale. Once you die, you're removed from the "game of life" as well, having kids doesn't change that.

Its not evolution its survival of lineage. Some great great great great grandfather out there of yours fed a family through times harder than these assembling wagon wheels or something just for you to live in a McMansion and go "nahhhhhh..." as the world passes you by.

 

[coldmeat]

I have to laugh at the people saying it's selfish to not want kids, as if this kid already exists and I'm denying it it's right to live.