Not to be debbie downer.....

[thatsright]

Well, this is pretty bad. I am 29 and my mother is living with me. She was involved in a car accident three years ago. This left her with chronic & severe breathing difficulties. Her physical capabilities have declined as well. She can?t lift much or walk very far. But mentally, she is ?with it,? though severely depressed. So anyway?. Right now I do not have a girlfriend and I feel so trapped. I am depressed beyond belief. No medication will help me out with this. Perhaps the main thing keeping me from going over the edge is my job.

My mother has no other relatives/friends in the area that she could stay with and getting her own place is not an option right now. Now we are about to move and the place is a little smaller. But really, what?s the point-the same living situation will move with me? Don?t know how much more of this I can take?.

How would you make this situation any better?

 

[Gunslinger08]

Put your mother in a nursing home.

 

[Baked]

Cut all ties, don't let that woman ruin your life.

 

[Christobevii3]

Delete

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Consider it karma. Your mother probably felt trapped on several occassions while raising you.. She's your mother.. compromise and care for her just as she did you. She could have done like other mothers and just dropped you off in a dumpster.

 

[ksheets]

smoke pot...it gets me through the rough times

 

[iconn]

ungrateful ingrate... ur prob not asian

 

[sixone]

Contact a group like this one. There are hundreds of them on Google. Keywords "caregiver" and "support".

You are not alone - unless you choose to be. Lots of people have felt just the same as you do, and they can help you get through this, just like they did. If you'll let them.

 

[imported_Imp]

Originally posted by: joshsquall
Put your mother in a nursing home.

Better than living with her forever then hating her.

 

[CrazyLazy]

Originally posted by: Baked
Cut all ties, don't let that woman ruin your life.

Seems like kind of a dick thing to say to someone who probably raised him for 20 odd years.

 

[The Boston Dangler]

Originally posted by: ksheets
smoke pot...it gets me through the rough times

i would recommend this option if it is available. i :heart: you , mary jane!

you would be the scum of the earth if you abandoned her, but not for feeling miserable. that's a very difficult situation, and doing the right thing conflicts with what you want in your life. i'm sure your mom wants you to find a nice girl, so take a break and chase some tail once in a while. a decent woman will be able to cope with your situation.

 

[paulney]

Either a nursing home, or find a live-in caregiver.
Both options are pretty expensive though.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Christobevii3
Sleep with your mom to fill the girlfriend void?

you are sick.

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: Imp

Originally posted by: joshsquall
Put your mother in a nursing home.

Better than living with her forever then hating her.

So those are his only two options? How close-minded of you.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: paulney
Either a nursing home, or find a live-in caregiver.
Both options are pretty expensive though.

This.

OP, you need to start living your life, and not be guilted into being your mother's caregiver 24/7. You are important too!

 

[KeithTalent]

Originally posted by: sixone
Contact a group like this one. There are hundreds of them on Google. Keywords "caregiver" and "support".

You are not alone - unless you choose to be. Lots of people have felt just the same as you do, and they can help you get through this, just like they did. If you'll let them.

Unfortunately I agree with sixone, something like that is your best option.

KT

 

[thatsright]

Originally posted by: KeithTalent

Originally posted by: sixone
Contact a group like this one. There are hundreds of them on Google. Keywords "caregiver" and "support".

You are not alone - unless you choose to be. Lots of people have felt just the same as you do, and they can help you get through this, just like they did. If you'll let them.

Unfortunately I agree with sixone, something like that is your best option.

KT

As several have mentioned above, I do see the day where I just shout out "I hate you, you've ruined my life." I feel like I will never escape. This is like living in a black hole...

I should of said a nursing home is not a immediate option. I will seek out local support groups.

Any other AT members have to navigate this type of situation?

 

[Paladin3]

1. Get your depression treated (unless you are just being whiny because you haven't been laid in a while).

2. Check into support groups, state disability and any other places you can for info and possibly monetary support in taking care of your mother. A full or part-time, in-home caregiver would help give you a break from constantly caring for your mother. If you mom has nowhere else to go, then man up and do what's necessary for this living situation to work. If that means a bigger house with semi-separate living areas so you are not living on top of each other then work towards getting that.

3. If a woman you are serious about (again, more than just getting laid) says that you taking care of your mother is a deal-killer, then you didn't really want to be with her in the first place.

 

[Paladin3]

Oh, and PROPS for taking care of your mom. It says a lot about what kind of person you are.

 

[sandorski]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Christobevii3
Sleep with your mom to fill the girlfriend void?

you are sick.

I was gonna say something similar until I saw "Mother". Immediately I thought to myself, "Whoa, I'm sick Dude!":|

 

[Evander]

Has she been living like a shut in since she moved in? If so, finding things for her to do outside of the house to give you some alone time would at least help you in your situation, and she'd probably feel better to. I don't know her physical limitations but maybe she can wheelchair herself over to a taxi and join a bingo game or something?

 

[rezinn]

Tough situation man. Is she on disability? Perhaps she could live on her own, and you could just check up on her a couple times a day?

She may be your mother, but you shouldn't have to take care of her. You have a life too, and I doubt she would feel good about staying with you if she knew she was ruining it.

 

[moshquerade]

Is your mom on medicaid or medicare? They will pay for someone to come into her home to help.

 

[CKent]

You have any siblings? Is it financially feasible you could find some kind of a duplex where you could be nearby but have your own space? I third the pot suggestion :laugh:

 

[rudeguy]

You are doing the right thing. Sometimes doing the right thing means that in the short term, there are very few rewards. In the long term, you will feel much better than if you had turned your back on your mom.

Do you have any pets? A good dog can cure a lot of loneliness and sadness (no critter banging jokes). Do you ever get out? You do need to have fun.