Not quite YAGuyT

[BeenBetter]

So I have a live-in boyfriend and most of the time he goes out doing his own thing after work like stopping by his parents or going to the the store or hanging out with friends. Sometimes when he's out with his friends and he goes out for hours and hours without giving me a call on when he's going to be home while I'm sitting there waiting for him because I don't have that many friends of my own. He asks me if I want to go with him places but I'm really not sure if he wants me there and I'm not that comfortable with his friends which are mostly girls, but I dont mind much about that. I know most of them. Anyway.. I get very upset when he comes home since I was expecting him earlier and I really just wish he would spend more time with just the two of us. When he is here he's usually on the computer and I'm watching TV... no interaction whatsoever. Am I out of line for being so upset when he gets back from hanging out with his friends or whatever?

CLIFFS as I know from lurking enough:
1. Guy goes out for many hours and doesn't call
2. I get upset.. we barely spend enough time together as it is
3. Am I out of line.. he seems to get upset when he sees that I'm upset

 

[imported_Mike]

Cheating on you?

 

[Cawchy87]

Do you ask him to call?

 

[Bozono]

We need pics of you as a couple to determine who is out of who's league. kthx.

 

[KarenMarie]

leave him and find someone else... or stay and learn to live with it.

 

[CKent]

WWYBYWB?

 

[BigB10293]

Why don't you ask the 25 y/o girl in the other thread?

 

[jlee]

Have you actually told him:

1) That you are upset
2) Why you are upset

?

 

[kogase]

Dammit, not another guy thread! Look, we're flooded with these things as it is, we don't need you coming in here with this and making it any worse. If this sounds unreasonable it is, because I'm being completely sarcastic and I'm pretty bored right now...

 

[preslove]

No. Sounds like it sucks.

 

[DAGTA]

Originally posted by: BeenBetter
So I have a live-in boyfriend and most of the time he goes out doing his own thing after work like stopping by his parents or going to the the store or hanging out with friends. Sometimes when he's out with his friends and he goes out for hours and hours without giving me a call on when he's going to be home while I'm sitting there waiting for him because I don't have that many friends of my own. He asks me if I want to go with him places but I'm really not sure if he wants me there and I'm not that comfortable with his friends which are mostly girls, but I dont mind much about that. I know most of them. Anyway.. I get very upset when he comes home since I was expecting him earlier and I really just wish he would spend more time with just the two of us. When he is here he's usually on the computer and I'm watching TV... no interaction whatsoever. Am I out of line for being so upset when he gets back from hanging out with his friends or whatever?

CLIFFS as I know from lurking enough:
1. Guy goes out for many hours and doesn't call
2. I get upset.. we barely spend enough time together as it is
3. Am I out of line.. he seems to get upset when he sees that I'm upset

Open communication is key to every successful and strong relationship. Without it, there will be problems.

Of course, would you really stay with a guy that was considerate of you and treated you well all the time? Not likely, you'd just label him a wuss.

 

[BeenBetter]

Originally posted by: Mike
Cheating on you?

No. I can assure you that. He tells me everything he does before and after.. I just get so upset. He's all I got and he's never around

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: BigB10293
Why don't you ask the 25 y/o girl in the other thread?

LOL

 

[Yossarian]

you left out the part in your cliffs about him inviting you along. if you don't go it's your own damn fault.

 

[Zap Brannigan]

Originally posted by: Yossarian
you left out the part in your cliffs about him inviting you along. if you don't go it's your own damn fault.

She probably forgot to omit that part more like it lol.

 

[Zap Brannigan]

Here have some more attention....lol

 

[OdiN]

Originally posted by: BeenBetter
So I have a live-in boyfriend and most of the time he goes out doing his own thing after work like stopping by his parents or going to the the store or hanging out with friends. Sometimes when he's out with his friends and he goes out for hours and hours without giving me a call on when he's going to be home while I'm sitting there waiting for him because I don't have that many friends of my own. He asks me if I want to go with him places but I'm really not sure if he wants me there and I'm not that comfortable with his friends which are mostly girls, but I dont mind much about that. I know most of them. Anyway.. I get very upset when he comes home since I was expecting him earlier and I really just wish he would spend more time with just the two of us. When he is here he's usually on the computer and I'm watching TV... no interaction whatsoever. Am I out of line for being so upset when he gets back from hanging out with his friends or whatever?

CLIFFS as I know from lurking enough:
1. Guy goes out for many hours and doesn't call
2. I get upset.. we barely spend enough time together as it is
3. Am I out of line.. he seems to get upset when he sees that I'm upset

Okay well...about him not calling - you are being a little needy there, although that is typical of a woman more than a man.

Have you talked to him about it? A lot of guys don't want to I know but it's something you guys need to work out.

You obviously are not happy in this relationship so you either need to work things out or break it off in my opinion.

It may be that he has an issue...doesn't feel the same for you or something and just doesn't want to deal with it. Has he always been this way?

Why don't you go with him sometime and see how things are?

Lay it out on the table.

 

[BeenBetter]

Originally posted by: Cawchy87
Do you ask him to call?

No I don't ask him to call.. I just expect him to. Mostly I just want him to not spend as much time with his friends. I know its selfish but he spends more time with his friends/family than with me. I'm feeling not-so-good about myself lately and he knows that... I really expect him to be there for me more.

We did have a talk and he said that I can call him anytime.. but I don't like seeming so needy.

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: BeenBetter
.. but I don't like seeming so needy.

LMFAO.

Okay.

 

[DAGTA]

Originally posted by: BeenBetter
He asks me if I want to go with him places but I'm really not sure if he wants me there and I'm not that comfortable with his friends which are mostly girls, but I dont mind much about that.

One other thing:

Unlike women, guys usually say what they mean and mean what they say. So if he asks you if you want to go, he's probably ok with you going.

 

[Kara]

No, I don't think you are out of line. He should spend more time with you.

 

[Zap Brannigan]

Originally posted by: BeenBetter

Originally posted by: Cawchy87
Do you ask him to call?

No I don't ask him to call.. I just expect him to. Mostly I just want him to not spend as much time with his friends. I know its selfish but he spends more time with his friends/family than with me. I'm feeling not-so-good about myself lately and he knows that... I really expect him to be there for me more.

We did have a talk and he said that I can call him anytime.. but I don't like seeming so needy.

So what you're actually looking for are better way for you to use your decpetion in order to manipulate him into spending all of his time with you, there for isolating him from his friends and whoever else..........

 

[OdiN]

Originally posted by: BeenBetter

Originally posted by: Cawchy87
Do you ask him to call?

No I don't ask him to call.. I just expect him to. Mostly I just want him to not spend as much time with his friends. I know its selfish but he spends more time with his friends/family than with me. I'm feeling not-so-good about myself lately and he knows that... I really expect him to be there for me more.

We did have a talk and he said that I can call him anytime.. but I don't like seeming so needy.

But you ARE needy. I'm not saying that in an offensive way...it's just how it is. I've been with needy girls before...they just need more attention. Some guys can do this for them and some can't/won't.

I expect women to be a bit needy...nothing wrong with it. Men and Women are very different emotionally on the average. There are definitely needy guys and everyone likes to be wanted.

When you say upset...do you mean that you are upset as in wanting to yell at him upset or are you more dissappointed in him? If you guys can have a civil conversation about it, that would be best.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: BeenBetter

Originally posted by: Cawchy87
Do you ask him to call?

No I don't ask him to call.. I just expect him to. Mostly I just want him to not spend as much time with his friends. I know its selfish but he spends more time with his friends/family than with me. I'm feeling not-so-good about myself lately and he knows that... I really expect him to be there for me more.

We did have a talk and he said that I can call him anytime.. but I don't like seeming so needy.

I had a feeling there were self-esteem issues going on here. You're the one staying at home doing apparently nothing while he wants to go out and have a good time with friends. How did this particular situation develop? How long have you been together with this guy? Why are you not comfortable going out with him and his friends?

 

[BeenBetter]

Originally posted by: OdiN

Originally posted by: BeenBetter
So I have a live-in boyfriend and most of the time he goes out doing his own thing after work like stopping by his parents or going to the the store or hanging out with friends. Sometimes when he's out with his friends and he goes out for hours and hours without giving me a call on when he's going to be home while I'm sitting there waiting for him because I don't have that many friends of my own. He asks me if I want to go with him places but I'm really not sure if he wants me there and I'm not that comfortable with his friends which are mostly girls, but I dont mind much about that. I know most of them. Anyway.. I get very upset when he comes home since I was expecting him earlier and I really just wish he would spend more time with just the two of us. When he is here he's usually on the computer and I'm watching TV... no interaction whatsoever. Am I out of line for being so upset when he gets back from hanging out with his friends or whatever?

CLIFFS as I know from lurking enough:
1. Guy goes out for many hours and doesn't call
2. I get upset.. we barely spend enough time together as it is
3. Am I out of line.. he seems to get upset when he sees that I'm upset

Okay well...about him not calling - you are being a little needy there, although that is typical of a woman more than a man.

Have you talked to him about it? A lot of guys don't want to I know but it's something you guys need to work out.

You obviously are not happy in this relationship so you either need to work things out or break it off in my opinion.

It may be that he has an issue...doesn't feel the same for you or something and just doesn't want to deal with it. Has he always been this way?

Why don't you go with him sometime and see how things are?

Lay it out on the table.

I have tried talking to him many times.. but when I'm sad he gets upset and I just crawl back into myself. This last time we talked he was a lot better.

I've gone with him sometimes... but his friends sometimes consists of say a girl he used to like many many years ago.. girls that are pretty.. and a girl who is his BEST friend.

We went on a weekend trip with his best friend and I was cool with it until I saw her putting her leftover food on his plate and stupid things like that. Geesh.. have a little more decency around me... Moreover he seemed more considerate over her than me at times.. pleaase..