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Not quite YAGuyT

B

BeenBetter

Member
So I have a live-in boyfriend and most of the time he goes out doing his own thing after work like stopping by his parents or going to the the store or hanging out with friends. Sometimes when he's out with his friends and he goes out for hours and hours without giving me a call on when he's going to be home while I'm sitting there waiting for him because I don't have that many friends of my own. He asks me if I want to go with him places but I'm really not sure if he wants me there and I'm not that comfortable with his friends which are mostly girls, but I dont mind much about that. I know most of them. Anyway.. I get very upset when he comes home since I was expecting him earlier and I really just wish he would spend more time with just the two of us. When he is here he's usually on the computer and I'm watching TV... no interaction whatsoever. Am I out of line for being so upset when he gets back from hanging out with his friends or whatever?

CLIFFS as I know from lurking enough:
1. Guy goes out for many hours and doesn't call
2. I get upset.. we barely spend enough time together as it is
3. Am I out of line.. he seems to get upset when he sees that I'm upset
 
Dammit, not another guy thread! Look, we're flooded with these things as it is, we don't need you coming in here with this and making it any worse. If this sounds unreasonable it is, because I'm being completely sarcastic and I'm pretty bored right now...
 
Originally posted by: BeenBetter
So I have a live-in boyfriend and most of the time he goes out doing his own thing after work like stopping by his parents or going to the the store or hanging out with friends. Sometimes when he's out with his friends and he goes out for hours and hours without giving me a call on when he's going to be home while I'm sitting there waiting for him because I don't have that many friends of my own. He asks me if I want to go with him places but I'm really not sure if he wants me there and I'm not that comfortable with his friends which are mostly girls, but I dont mind much about that. I know most of them. Anyway.. I get very upset when he comes home since I was expecting him earlier and I really just wish he would spend more time with just the two of us. When he is here he's usually on the computer and I'm watching TV... no interaction whatsoever. Am I out of line for being so upset when he gets back from hanging out with his friends or whatever?

CLIFFS as I know from lurking enough:
1. Guy goes out for many hours and doesn't call
2. I get upset.. we barely spend enough time together as it is
3. Am I out of line.. he seems to get upset when he sees that I'm upset
Click to expand...

Open communication is key to every successful and strong relationship. Without it, there will be problems.

Of course, would you really stay with a guy that was considerate of you and treated you well all the time? Not likely, you'd just label him a wuss.
 
Originally posted by: BeenBetter
So I have a live-in boyfriend and most of the time he goes out doing his own thing after work like stopping by his parents or going to the the store or hanging out with friends. Sometimes when he's out with his friends and he goes out for hours and hours without giving me a call on when he's going to be home while I'm sitting there waiting for him because I don't have that many friends of my own. He asks me if I want to go with him places but I'm really not sure if he wants me there and I'm not that comfortable with his friends which are mostly girls, but I dont mind much about that. I know most of them. Anyway.. I get very upset when he comes home since I was expecting him earlier and I really just wish he would spend more time with just the two of us. When he is here he's usually on the computer and I'm watching TV... no interaction whatsoever. Am I out of line for being so upset when he gets back from hanging out with his friends or whatever?

CLIFFS as I know from lurking enough:
1. Guy goes out for many hours and doesn't call
2. I get upset.. we barely spend enough time together as it is
3. Am I out of line.. he seems to get upset when he sees that I'm upset
Click to expand...


Okay well...about him not calling - you are being a little needy there, although that is typical of a woman more than a man.

Have you talked to him about it? A lot of guys don't want to I know but it's something you guys need to work out.

You obviously are not happy in this relationship so you either need to work things out or break it off in my opinion.

It may be that he has an issue...doesn't feel the same for you or something and just doesn't want to deal with it. Has he always been this way?

Why don't you go with him sometime and see how things are?

Lay it out on the table.
 
Originally posted by: Cawchy87
Do you ask him to call?
Click to expand...

No I don't ask him to call.. I just expect him to. Mostly I just want him to not spend as much time with his friends. I know its selfish but he spends more time with his friends/family than with me. I'm feeling not-so-good about myself lately and he knows that... I really expect him to be there for me more.

We did have a talk and he said that I can call him anytime.. but I don't like seeming so needy.
 
Originally posted by: BeenBetter
He asks me if I want to go with him places but I'm really not sure if he wants me there and I'm not that comfortable with his friends which are mostly girls, but I dont mind much about that.
Click to expand...

One other thing:

Unlike women, guys usually say what they mean and mean what they say. So if he asks you if you want to go, he's probably ok with you going.

 
Originally posted by: BeenBetter
Originally posted by: Cawchy87
Do you ask him to call?
Click to expand...

No I don't ask him to call.. I just expect him to. Mostly I just want him to not spend as much time with his friends. I know its selfish but he spends more time with his friends/family than with me. I'm feeling not-so-good about myself lately and he knows that... I really expect him to be there for me more.

We did have a talk and he said that I can call him anytime.. but I don't like seeming so needy.
Click to expand...

So what you're actually looking for are better way for you to use your decpetion in order to manipulate him into spending all of his time with you, there for isolating him from his friends and whoever else..........

 
Originally posted by: BeenBetter
Originally posted by: Cawchy87
Do you ask him to call?
Click to expand...

No I don't ask him to call.. I just expect him to. Mostly I just want him to not spend as much time with his friends. I know its selfish but he spends more time with his friends/family than with me. I'm feeling not-so-good about myself lately and he knows that... I really expect him to be there for me more.

We did have a talk and he said that I can call him anytime.. but I don't like seeming so needy.
Click to expand...


But you ARE needy. I'm not saying that in an offensive way...it's just how it is. I've been with needy girls before...they just need more attention. Some guys can do this for them and some can't/won't.

I expect women to be a bit needy...nothing wrong with it. Men and Women are very different emotionally on the average. There are definitely needy guys and everyone likes to be wanted.

When you say upset...do you mean that you are upset as in wanting to yell at him upset or are you more dissappointed in him? If you guys can have a civil conversation about it, that would be best.
 
Originally posted by: BeenBetter
Originally posted by: Cawchy87
Do you ask him to call?
Click to expand...

No I don't ask him to call.. I just expect him to. Mostly I just want him to not spend as much time with his friends. I know its selfish but he spends more time with his friends/family than with me. I'm feeling not-so-good about myself lately and he knows that... I really expect him to be there for me more.

We did have a talk and he said that I can call him anytime.. but I don't like seeming so needy.
Click to expand...

I had a feeling there were self-esteem issues going on here. You're the one staying at home doing apparently nothing while he wants to go out and have a good time with friends. How did this particular situation develop? How long have you been together with this guy? Why are you not comfortable going out with him and his friends?
 
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: BeenBetter
So I have a live-in boyfriend and most of the time he goes out doing his own thing after work like stopping by his parents or going to the the store or hanging out with friends. Sometimes when he's out with his friends and he goes out for hours and hours without giving me a call on when he's going to be home while I'm sitting there waiting for him because I don't have that many friends of my own. He asks me if I want to go with him places but I'm really not sure if he wants me there and I'm not that comfortable with his friends which are mostly girls, but I dont mind much about that. I know most of them. Anyway.. I get very upset when he comes home since I was expecting him earlier and I really just wish he would spend more time with just the two of us. When he is here he's usually on the computer and I'm watching TV... no interaction whatsoever. Am I out of line for being so upset when he gets back from hanging out with his friends or whatever?

CLIFFS as I know from lurking enough:
1. Guy goes out for many hours and doesn't call
2. I get upset.. we barely spend enough time together as it is
3. Am I out of line.. he seems to get upset when he sees that I'm upset
Click to expand...


Okay well...about him not calling - you are being a little needy there, although that is typical of a woman more than a man.

Have you talked to him about it? A lot of guys don't want to I know but it's something you guys need to work out.

You obviously are not happy in this relationship so you either need to work things out or break it off in my opinion.

It may be that he has an issue...doesn't feel the same for you or something and just doesn't want to deal with it. Has he always been this way?

Why don't you go with him sometime and see how things are?

Lay it out on the table.
Click to expand...

I have tried talking to him many times.. but when I'm sad he gets upset and I just crawl back into myself. This last time we talked he was a lot better.

I've gone with him sometimes... but his friends sometimes consists of say a girl he used to like many many years ago.. girls that are pretty.. and a girl who is his BEST friend.

We went on a weekend trip with his best friend and I was cool with it until I saw her putting her leftover food on his plate and stupid things like that. Geesh.. have a little more decency around me... Moreover he seemed more considerate over her than me at times.. pleaase..
 
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