Questions of Life ?????
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- If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
- If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
- If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
- When a cow laughs does milk come up its nose?
- Why do they put braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?
- How did a fool and his money GET together?
- If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon on the pan?
- How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
- If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
- What's another word for thesaurus?
- Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
- Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same?
- Why is it called a "near miss" rather than a "near hit" when two planes almost collide?
- Why is abbreviation such a long word?
- Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
- Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
- Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
- When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
- Does fuzzy logic tickle?
- Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
- Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
- Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
- Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
- If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
- What was the best thing before sliced bread?
- Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
- Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
- Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
- If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?
- Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
- Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
- How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
- If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done?
- Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
- Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
- If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
- If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
- If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
- Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
- Is there another word for synonym?
- Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
- Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
- Why do they report power outages on TV?
- What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
- Is it possible to be totally partial?
- If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
- Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
- Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
- Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
- If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
- If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
- When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
- Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
- If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- Why is the word abbreviation so long?
- When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
- If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
- Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
- Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
- Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
- Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts!
- Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges did not live there.
- I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
- So what's the speed of dark?
- How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dis-ing them anyhow?
- After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
- I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious!
- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle ?
- Can fat people go skinny-dipping ?
- If a book about failure doesn't sell, is it a success ?
- Is virgin wool from the sheep the shepherd hasn?t caught?
- When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
- If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
- If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
- If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why didn't they evolve too?
- Could it be that the main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live?
- Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
- And whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
- If you fail to pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
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