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NOOOO!!! They've started coming again!!!

V

Viperoni

Lifer
Jehovah's witnesses! :|
They haven't come by in at least 3-4 years, and now they'e started right back up again. :frown:
Oddly, the guy brought his whole family (wife and daughter). 😕

My dad got rid of them in a few minutes though 😉
 
It seems like once or twice a year there's a convention of them in Madison at the Expo Center, and that's exactly the time you stop answering your door. When the city's overtaken by men in suits and women in dresses, it's time to lock the door and put out the "no religious solicitation" sign. 😀

They were here a month or so ago - and I've noticed they're bringing kids along too. The guy that stopped here had two little boys with him, and I could see his partner had a baby in a stroller.
 
A couple of options that have worked for me:

1) Draw a chalk outline of a body on your porch. Leave a blood smeared briefcase and a torn copy of Watchtower next to it. Keep a scoreboard running like the HardRock Cafe uses: "Jehovah's witnesses killed this week: 17"

2) Immediately upon opening the door, don't give them time to start. Jump right in and begin trying to convert them to another religion. Scientology is a good choice. Don't pause for breath as you'll lose momentum. Just hammer away and make sure to keep asking for money so they can get to a higher level. They'll be out of there so fast they'll leave skid marks next to the chalk outline.

3) Land mines

4) Try selling them life insurance. Something like "Sure, the kingdom of Heaven when you die is nice, but let's talk about your survivors. Have you considered term life to meet their needs?" Invite them in tp talk about their needs and what they can do to guarantee their families financial well-being in the event of their untimely demise. Keep focusing on the "untimely demise" part and glance towards your collection of kitchen knives when you say it.

5) Answer the door completely naked. Or, even better, naked and aroused.
 
Just tell them that if you talk with them, YOUR god (Beelzebub) will punish you!!


Hummm this brings up an interesting question.
If your a devil worshiper, and you piss him off, when you die will he send you to heaven?
 
<<If your a devil worshiper, and you piss him off, when you die will he send you to heaven?>>

Good question.

Zenmervolt
 
I like getting in religious discussion with them. I usually ask them to rpove that there is a god. Most of the time they answer, "Well, we're both here, on this wonderful planet, arent we?" but that doesnt prove a thing. My father really likes them. I think he made a couple of them cry once. 🙂
 
you should listen to the jehovah's witnesses; they're good people and they have a lot to say that's important to a lot of what life is all about.
 
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