Non religious reasons to oppose gay marriage

Carfax83

Diamond Member
Nov 1, 2010
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Hi, this is my first post in the politics and news sub forum, so take it easy on me :)

In popular culture, being against gay marriage is often perceived to be associated with bigotry. Love is love after all, and who but the most unreasonable (or bigoted) person would wish to prohibit two consenting adults from publically declaring their love for one another?

Gay marriage is an issue that I have often struggled with. I'm a married 28 yr old first generation American, and the overwhelming majority of the people of my parents' home country are vehemently anti-gay. In fact, my parents are vehemently anti-gay as well, and as you would expect, this shaped my views on the matter considerably; particularly when I was younger and more impressionable.

However, as I made my way through the World, I met a few gays and realized that for the most part, they are just like most other people in their desire to lead a happy and fulfilling life, and to seek out love and commited relationships.

It was this realization that prompted me to rethink my previously held views that homosexuality is inherently immoral and decadent, something to be shunned and held in contempt.

I also researched the nature of homosexuality (orientation, not behaviour), and came to the conclusion that it is a biologically inspired innate condition (like heterosexuality), and not something that comes about through conscious decision or choice.. The Scientific evidence I uncovered in support of that conclusion was pretty clear in that regard..

This discovery reaffirmed my decision to discard the admittedly bigoted views of my parents, because disliking gays when you believe they chose to be gay is far easier than disliking them when you KNOW there was no choice.

However, after all this reflection, I still admittedly cannot find it in myself to support gay marriage or gay adoption. I don't know if it was because I was raised to be anti-gay and thus I'm clinging to the old ways, or perhaps, I have found logical and valid reasons to be against homosexual marriage that have nothing to do with bigotry.

I am not a religious man, so faith has no part in my decision to oppose gay marriage. However, I am not certain whether bigotry if a factor or not.

I will now state my reasons for opposing gay marriage, so you can see whether my arguements hold any sort of logical validity or not...

First off, let me state that Marriage as an institution is not only practically universal throughout the human experience, but is VERY old as well. It pre-dates recorded history in fact, and thus, pre-dates organized religions.

Many gay marriage supporters erroneously believe that homosexuality was held in a more positive light (even celebrated) before the advent of organized religion. Yet, I have discovered that this simply wasn't the case.

Even in cultures that were tolerant of homosexuality, ie Ancient Greece, Rome etc, there were many stipulations involved when it came to same sex relationships. For example, while pederasty was allowable in ancient Greek culture (with certain restrictions), sexual relationships between adult men were in fact, frowned upon.

One of Plato's famous comments stated how barbarians (non Greek cultures?) regarded homosexuality was shameful. The exact quote:

“Homosexuality, is regarded as shameful by barbarians and by those who live under despotic governments just as philosophy is regarded as shameful by them, because it is apparently not in the interest of such rulers to have great ideas engendered in their subjects, or powerful friendships or passionate love-all of which homosexuality is particularly apt to produce."”

Men were expected to one day marry and father children thus fulfilling their familial and societal obligations. In light of this, sexual relationships between adult men were to be discouraged as it was harmful to Society.

Pederasty on the other hand, mitigated this view because boys were not men, and since casual sexual relationships between men and women were prohibited, boys were apparently the next best choice.. Their masculinity could never be compromised from being penetrated by another man or assuming the feminine role, thus there was no shame.

Modern day Afghanistan, like many other sexually repressed cultures, exhibits this same archaic view in which pederasty is allowed (see bacha bazi), but homosexuality between adult men is severely frowned upon.

Any way, my point is to disabuse the reader of any misconceptions he or she may have concerning the notion that homosexuality was well tolerated before the advent of organized religion. There were a few exceptions to be sure, but generally speaking, homosexuality has always been seen as abnormal and as such, historical examples of same sex marriages are extremely rare.

But just because something is historically rare or unacceptable, does not mean it should always be so, and vice versa.

Gay marriage as of now, has been legalized in several countries World wide (mostly in Europe) and several states in the U.S. More than perhaps any previous time in human history, same sex relationships are held in similar regard to heterosexual relationships..

But are they the same?

No.

Only a fool would say that same sex relationships and heterosexual relationships are the same. How could they be, when men and women are intrinsically different from one another..

But yet, gay marriage supporters are saying that gay relationships should be viewed as EQUAL to heterosexual relationships, and thus worthy of marriage.

I could not disagree more. Marriage aside, Civilization/Society is the direct result of male and female sexual union. All of us, no matter whether we are straight or gay, black or white, were born from the union of a man and a woman. Every human being can trace their blood line tens of thousands of years into the past.

So for humanity to continue to exist, sexual relationships between men and women is absolutely essential, of which marriage facilitates by binding the man and woman together legally and socially.. Children cannot be created via gay relationships however, and so homosexual relationships are not absolutely essential to the survival of the human race.

So what of it you may say? The World is already over populated, and besides, not every heterosexual relationship/marriage results in children. True.. But providing a stable and beneficial environment for raising children is only one of the beneficial aspects of marriage.

The other, is to foster the mutual respect and cooperation between the two sexes.

This is extremely important, because women comprise half of the human population, yet throughout much of human history, have been relegated to being second class citizens with far less privileges and rights than men.

A cooperative bond between men and women is essential to the well being of ANY Civilization, because that bond is the engine that drives Civilization onward and the stronger it is, the greater the Civilization becomes.

Suffice to say, the prevalence or popularity of homosexuality, is typically inversely proportional to the regard in which a Society esteems women; as seen in cultures like Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia.

So thats the gist of what my entire arguement pends upon. That heterosexual marriage offers benefits to the entire human race that put it head and shoulders above homosexual relationships, and thus homosexual relationships cannot in any way be held as equal to heterosexual ones.

To pretend that heterosexual relationships and gay relationships are equal, is to pretend that men are simply bigger versions of women, and women are simply smaller versions of men.

Thats not to say however that gays cannot benefit from being married, or benefit Society via marriage; because they can.

All I'm saying, is that gay relationships are fundamentally UNEQUAL to heterosexual relationships, and as such, are unworthy of the same regard..
 
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pauldun170

Diamond Member
Sep 26, 2011
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I going to respond to your long well thought out post with a short crappy post.

I could give two craps about gay people, the history of marriage or religion. I don't care if two people of the same sex are in love,being in love doesn't entitle you to shit.
I don't care about the long history of marriage...except for the part that it had nothing to do with love and mainly to do with women as property. That rocked.

My position on gay marriage is I don't care because I don't have to care.
All I need to know is
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourteenth_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution

Law spells it out.

Everyone enjoys the same rights. Personal opinions on who is fucking who in what orifice and how they can get legal benefits can go suck a goat cawk.

The states are having their fun with marriage laws.
Good for them.
We as a country have already proven we have only have so much tolerance for states taking a crap on federal rights (cue libertarians to change subject to airport scanners and whatever newsletter BS showed up in their mailbox today)

However, if they bundle banning gay marriage with banning women from driving and voting..
I'm all in.
I'm not missing out on that opportunity.
 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
16
81
Wow. Um...

So for humanity to continue to exist, sexual relationships between men and women is absolutely essential, of which marriage facilitates by binding the man and woman together legally and socially.. Children cannot be created via gay relationships however, and so homosexual relationships are not absolutely essential to the survival of the human race.

This is the same reason why infertile and elderly people should never be allowed to marry. In fact, the only reason why anyone should ever have sex at all is for the explicit purpose of having children.

Long, well thought out post.. my ass. It's a shit post with completely bogus reasoning. "If homosexual relationships are allowed to be codified in marriage, humanity will be in danger of dying off." LOL WTF.
 

K1052

Elite Member
Aug 21, 2003
52,093
45,076
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So your argument boils down to that allowing gay marriage will somehow (by some undefined mechanism) cause straight people to stop fucking and thereby endanger the existence of modern civilization or even perhaps the continuation our species.

Brilliant.
 

crashtestdummy

Platinum Member
Feb 18, 2010
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Your post was very long, so correct me if I'm misrepresenting your arguments, but they seem to boil down to:

1) Throughout history, long term stable relationships have been largely heterosexual.
2) Heterosexual relationships result in the production of children, and so benefit society
3) We grant marriages as a way to encourage relationships we consider beneficial. Since by (2), heterosexual relationships are more beneficial, we should only grant special privileges to them.

I'll try to address each of those:
1) People form societies and religions because cooperation and cohesion are necessary for survival. This has led, over the course of most of history, to oppression of minority traits, lifestyles, and viewpoints that were seen as a threat to group cohesion. These rejections are necessary for people like thieves, murderers, abusers, liars, etc. It has also led, however, to us ostracizing less harmful minorities such as religious heretics, atheists, political dissidents, ethnic minorities, the mentally and physically disabled, LGBT people, and natural philosophers (scientists), among others. This has meant that the existence of these types was often hidden and their views suppressed. The rejection of this latter group has slowly faded as time has gone by, as they have been shown to pose little threat to our ability to succeed as a species. Gay people, like atheists, have always been around. It's only now that society has begun to understand that they are not a threat to others' way of life.

2) You make it sound like we're discouraging people from having children by allowing them to marry someone of the same sex. In the old days, these people would have become priests or "confirmed bachelors", relegated to a life alone and without children. They will not "settle" for straight marriage if gay marriage is made unavailable to them. There are, however, are a substantial number of parents that give birth to children they do not want. While gay couples do not produce children on their own without IVF, artificial insemination, and/or a surrogate, they are still able to care for children as well as any other parent, and better than those who did not desire children but are outsmarted by their birth control.

I plan on having kids with my soon-to-be wife. If she were a man, I can guarantee you I'd be doing everything I could to try to adopt a child. My desire and ability to raise children has nothing to do with my sexuality (in fact, it'd be really creepy if my sexuality had anything to do with it).

3) We don't make marriages contingent on having children. If that were the case, we as a society would withhold most marriage benefits until children are born. That will never be the case. We proclaim that spouses should not be required to testify in court because we think that everyone should be able to confide in their closest partner, not as a reward to giving us children. We provide the social security and insurance benefits because we understand their career decisions were made as a couple, and that they shouldn't be punished for that.
 
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momeNt

Diamond Member
Jan 26, 2011
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First explain to me why government is involved in marriage contracts in the first place. If you can convince me of that necessity, I'll entertain your gay marriage discussion.
 

Carfax83

Diamond Member
Nov 1, 2010
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Everyone enjoys the same rights. Personal opinions on who is fucking who in what orifice and how they can get legal benefits can go suck a goat cawk.

Marriage isn't a right though. Marriage has always come with provisions, ie you can't marry someone thats too young, or more than one person, or someone of the same sex..

When you allow gay marriage, it opens up the path way to other relationships that are regarded as unlawful to occur as well..
 

pauldun170

Diamond Member
Sep 26, 2011
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Wow. Um...



This is the same reason why infertile and elderly people should never be allowed to marry. In fact, the only reason why anyone should ever have sex at all is for the explicit purpose of having children.

Long, well thought out post.. my ass. It's a shit post with completely bogus reasoning. "If homosexual relationships are allowed to be codified in marriage, humanity will be in danger of dying off." LOL WTF.

I was being polite while justifying my piss poor grammar.
I was raised with manners young man.
 

pauldun170

Diamond Member
Sep 26, 2011
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Marriage isn't a right though. Marriage has always come with provisions, ie you can't marry someone thats too young, or more than one person, or someone of the same sex..

When you allow gay marriage, it opens up the path way to other relationships that are regarded as unlawful to occur as well..

Marriage isn't a right.
Equal protection under the law is.
 

Carfax83

Diamond Member
Nov 1, 2010
6,841
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Wow. Um...



This is the same reason why infertile and elderly people should never be allowed to marry. In fact, the only reason why anyone should ever have sex at all is for the explicit purpose of having children.

Long, well thought out post.. my ass. It's a shit post with completely bogus reasoning. "If homosexual relationships are allowed to be codified in marriage, humanity will be in danger of dying off." LOL WTF.

If you had read the entire post, you would see that I already answered that issue you idiot.. D:

Providing a beneficial environment for child rearing is just one of the reasons I cited for the importance of marriage.

The other was that it fosters mutual respect and cooperation between the two sexes, which doesn't necessarily require any offspring to be created.
 

crashtestdummy

Platinum Member
Feb 18, 2010
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Marriage isn't a right though. Marriage has always come with provisions, ie you can't marry someone thats too young, or more than one person, or someone of the same sex..

When you allow gay marriage, it opens up the path way to other relationships that are regarded as unlawful to occur as well..

The "too young" is actually only recent (historically, it has been common for young girls to be married off shortly after puberty). It is our modern idea that children are not capable of consenting to marriage (or anything else) that has led to that ban.
 

pauldun170

Diamond Member
Sep 26, 2011
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First explain to me why government is involved in marriage contracts in the first place. If you can convince me of that necessity, I'll entertain your gay marriage discussion.

Can you define entertain?
I'm not sticking around if this turns into some sort of gay porn thread.
 
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pauldun170

Diamond Member
Sep 26, 2011
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If you had read the entire post, you would see that I already answered that issue you idiot.. D:

Providing a beneficial environment for child rearing is just one of the reasons I cited for the importance of marriage.

The other was that it fosters mutual respect and cooperation between the two sexes, which doesn't necessarily require any offspring to be created.

Gay parents can raise kids just as well as hetero parents.
Unless they are REALLY gay.
I mean "Bravo channel on 24x7" gay.

There are no kids shows on Bravo.
You can't raise a kid on that kind of crap.
 

crashtestdummy

Platinum Member
Feb 18, 2010
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If you had read the entire post, you would see that I already answered that issue you idiot.. D:

Providing a beneficial environment for child rearing is just one of the reasons I cited for the importance of marriage.

The other was that it fosters mutual respect and cooperation between the two sexes, which doesn't necessarily require any offspring to be created.

Oh please. We make it so a spouse has medical power of attorney so that men and women understand each other? Really think about that for a moment.
 

crashtestdummy

Platinum Member
Feb 18, 2010
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First explain to me why government is involved in marriage contracts in the first place. If you can convince me of that necessity, I'll entertain your gay marriage discussion.

I think civil marriage, specifically, is open for discussion, but it is in the interest of the government to have partnership arrangements. It makes it easier for emergency medical decisions to be made, allows a couple more flexibility in terms of making career decisions (by merging their finances, effectively allowing them to act as a single earner), and makes sure that each person is able to have a guaranteed confidant (legal testimony). Those are all valuable traits, and ones that you'll never see people get rid of.
 

Ninjahedge

Diamond Member
Mar 2, 2005
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So your argument boils down to that allowing gay marriage will somehow (by some undefined mechanism) cause straight people to stop fucking and thereby endanger the existence of modern civilization or even perhaps the continuation our species.

Brilliant.

No, what he is saying is that if Gays married, all the Whites will stop breeding and we will be run over by Africans, Mexicans and Mormons.

Yeah, I don't know. I always thought Mormons were white too....
 

HumblePie

Lifer
Oct 30, 2000
14,665
440
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Whole OP is bullshit.

Marriages in human history proceed any known religion and span through every culture. Even cultures that ACCEPTED gay marriages.

What is the purpose of marriages? Transfer of wealth by legitimizing heirs. Nothing more and nothing less.

It gives legitimacy to pass on one's belongings to someone else that they "love" when they die. That's it. This can be done from a gay or straight standpoint.

Denying this right to others because you can't stand the thought of butt pirates is despicable. Let people be happy. It harms you in zero way for a gay couple to be married and enjoying life how they want to. It harms the "institution" of marriage in zero way. It is still a method of legitimizing heirs. End of story.
 

Ninjahedge

Diamond Member
Mar 2, 2005
4,149
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Marriage isn't a right though. Marriage has always come with provisions, ie you can't marry someone thats too young, or more than one person, or someone of the same sex..

When you allow gay marriage, it opens up the path way to other relationships that are regarded as unlawful to occur as well..

No it doesn't.

Not unless you are of the few that still sees homosexuality as commensurate with things like pedophilia and bestiality.

That is just, pardon the pun, infantile and pig-headed.
 

K1052

Elite Member
Aug 21, 2003
52,093
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No, what he is saying is that if Gays married, all the Whites will stop breeding and we will be run over by Africans, Mexicans and Mormons.

Yeah, I don't know. I always thought Mormons were white too....

They're white until you tar them on their way out of town at the head of a mob.

Traditions should be respected.
 

Carfax83

Diamond Member
Nov 1, 2010
6,841
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While gay couples do not produce children on their own without IVF, artificial insemination, and/or a surrogate, they are still able to care for children as well as any other parent, and better than those who did not desire children but are outsmarted by their birth control.

I don't really agree with this statement, but since it's off topic, I'll let this slide..

3) We don't make marriages contingent on having children. If that were the case, we as a society would withhold most marriage benefits until children are born. That will never be the case. We proclaim that spouses should not be required to testify in court because we think that everyone should be able to confide in their closest partner, not as a reward to giving us children. We provide the social security and insurance benefits because we understand their career decisions were made as a couple, and that they shouldn't be punished for that.

I never stated that marriage was contingent upon, or necessary for having children. I only stated that it provided the best environment for such....as many studies have demonstrated.

A marriage legally binds a man and a woman together, and makes them responsible for each other, and any children that may come from their union.

Children aside, the other beneficial aspect of marriage is that it fosters mutual respect and cooperation with the opposite sex.

Even if you and your future wife do not have children, Civilization would still benefit greatly from your union.