No more Maui wedding, planning for a July 2009 MA wedding now...

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: MrsBugi
I'm engaged!

That being said, I'm feeling completely lost because I have no idea where to begin in terms of wedding planning. My mom suggested we set a date sometime in the next 6-9 months and a Hawaiian wedding would be nice... the thing is, most of our friends and family live in Los Angeles and/or can't afford to fly to Hawaii for a wedding, so would it make more sense to have the wedding in Hawaii and the reception in LA? Or both the wedding and reception in LA?

If anyone has any "where to start planning a wedding" website suggestions I'd really appreciate it. I'm feeling clueless and overwhelmed but extremely happy.

EDIT: Maui is out as a wedding location, it's way too expensive and inconsiderate of our guests' finances, especially given the current state of the economy.

Since most of his friends and relatives live in MA, I'm going to start planning a July 2009 wedding somewhere in MA/CT. The wedding planning process is pretty overwhelming, I'm hoping I'll get the hang of it sooner rather than later.

I thought you were already married?

 

[KeithTalent]

Originally posted by: Howard
Please don't spend too much money.

This.

KT

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: eakers
I have no advice, just a big congrats! I am so happy for you

Thank you so much sweetheart, I am beyond excited and so very much in love. Trying not to let the stress of the wedding planning get to met yet!

Even with our small wedding (maybe 30 people), there was a lot of that, I can't imagine doing a bigger one.

Wow, 30 people is a very intimate wedding... did you help your fiance with the wedding planning? I don't think ours will be more than 80 which seems very big now :Q

I helped quite a bit, yes... it was a bit informal. We didn't even have invitations, we just talked to people and invited them
We had it at a ren fair, so it wasn't exactly a typical wedding, though

You saved a lot of $$$ without formal invitations, etc! A ren fair wedding sounds unique and romantic, any pictures?

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: JEDI

Originally posted by: MrsBugi
I'm engaged!

That being said, I'm feeling completely lost because I have no idea where to begin in terms of wedding planning. My mom suggested we set a date sometime in the next 6-9 months and a Hawaiian wedding would be nice... the thing is, most of our friends and family live in Los Angeles and/or can't afford to fly to Hawaii for a wedding, so would it make more sense to have the wedding in Hawaii and the reception in LA? Or both the wedding and reception in LA?

If anyone has any "where to start planning a wedding" website suggestions I'd really appreciate it. I'm feeling clueless and overwhelmed but extremely happy.

EDIT: Maui is out as a wedding location, it's way too expensive and inconsiderate of our guests' finances, especially given the current state of the economy.

Since most of his friends and relatives live in MA, I'm going to start planning a July 2009 wedding somewhere in MA/CT. The wedding planning process is pretty overwhelming, I'm hoping I'll get the hang of it sooner rather than later.

tomato? ivy?

wait.. i thought u married that guy that convinced u to give up wearing 13" mini-skirts?! <boo him! )

i'm soooooooooo behind the times???!!

all i can say is dont be a Bride-zilla!

heck, elope, and get married at city hall first. then go thru the elaborate ceremonies and reception. MUCH less stress.

I haven't worn mini-skirts in years, Halloween excluded I'm 28 now, I'm not 21 anymore! We actually considered getting married privately at City Hall and then worrying about the ceremony, reception, etc. It isn't exactly romantic but it does seem very practical

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: sash1
are AT members invited? is there going to be an open bar at the reception?

and you should def have it on the 8th, a 7/8/9 wedding

We're trying to keep costs down so it'll be limited to close friends and family. Hopefully under 100 people total, but AT-ers are welcome to browse through the registry I don't drink but we'll probably have an open bar at the reception for those that do

A 7/8/9 wedding would be awesome! So would 9/9/9

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: Imported
I'll see if I can find where my half-sister's son got married in CT. The inn they held it at was pretty, had a large grassy field and they supplied a large tent and what not. The scones the innkeepers made in the morning were crazy good too! It was a pretty good place for 70-80ish people.

Congrats as well!

The Dutch Iris Inn looks incredible, I love that they have horse-drawn carriage rides too! Thanks so much fo the tip Imported, I sent them an e-mail requesting pricing info...

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: freesia39
Try weddingbee.com and see what the Boston area brides have chosen, and there is a Boston specific message board

Funny, I used to read weddingbee's xanga blog back in the day before she created her own website/business. Thanks freesia, have you gotten married yet?

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: tyanni
I'd recommend Maine. Much cheaper than MA, and a nice destination even for people in MA. We both live in MA, and most of our friends\family are either from MA or the east coast, and all loved Maine in the fall. Most turned it into a vacation and came up early.

Is Maine significantly cheaper than MA? Interesting, we hadn't even considered it... how far of a drive would it be from Boston? Worth investigating, we have the time to do so right now and cutting costs is paramount.

 

[Anubis]

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: Anubis

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: sash1

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: Baked
Obligatory "Liar liar, pants on fire."

Thanks for getting it out of the way, Baked. The haters can hate all they'd like, I've explained once and am not going to kill myself doing it again. I'm happy and looking for wedding advice and that's that!

I was engaged twice before but never married (thank goodness! I was so young...).

so is this one "the one"?

i feel the separated wedding-reception is the best idea, especially if you feel so strongly about having a wedding in hawai'i. if having family/friends there for the wedding is more important, then obviously, both in cali/LA, wherever. but i say get married in hawai'i, you're only gonna have one marriage! (we hope )

Yes, this is definitely "the one!"

Unfortunately we ruled out out Maui as being much too expensive for our guests with plane tickets ranging from $950-1200 departing from LAX/BOS/DFW. Given the current state of the economy it wouldn't be fair to make everyone pay so much for a destination wedding, now we are considering somewhere in MA.

(and yes there will only be one marriage! divorce is NOT an option)

is Murder an option?

:Q

the :Q face always makes me LOL and yes i was kidding

as others have said Cape Cod is a pretty excellent place for a wedding in MA

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: EagleKeeper
Church wedding?

Urban or rural setting?

Cathedral of the Pines in Ringe would be excellent in summer/fall.
Excellent view, not to far from the Boston area.

The Altar, recognized by Congress as a national memorial, is the focal point of this "cathedral without walls" in southwestern New Hampshire

Its all-denominational and non-sectarian nature contributes to the Altar?s uniqueness. The Altar also is unique not only because it pays tribute to all American war dead, but because of the very stones from which it is built.

Ideally a rural setting, church optional but it'd be nice since his family is Catholic and mine is nondenominational Christian. The Cathedral of the Pines is a gorgeous setting and would fit our guests (125 according to the website) perfectly. Let's see how much the site/location rental fees are, thanks for the tip EagleKeeper!

 

[Anubis]

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: tyanni
I'd recommend Maine. Much cheaper than MA, and a nice destination even for people in MA. We both live in MA, and most of our friends\family are either from MA or the east coast, and all loved Maine in the fall. Most turned it into a vacation and came up early.

Is Maine significantly cheaper than MA? Interesting, we hadn't even considered it... how far of a drive would it be from Boston? Worth investigating, we have the time to do so right now and cutting costs is paramount.

Depends on where you are going in maine

the boarder is only about 1.5-2 hours, and there are like 8 billion places in southern maine (within 3 hours) from boston that would be great for weddings. and yes its cheaper there

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: keird
I'll give you a nice place for a reception... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Worcester_(MBTA_station)

http://www.ci.worcester.ma.us/ocm/economic/union.htm

Rates are about 1-2k for the station. The main hall of the station. It's awesome for the price. You have to cater it yourself, though. Good acoustics, too.

My fiance and I are doing a Justice of the Peace wedding. Then we're going to some other relative's wedding that day. "Don't bogart that cake, bitch!" Uber cheap.

My fiance was actually born and raised in Worcester! $1-2k isn't bad considering other places I've looked at run between $4-5k (ack). I've added it to the list to further research and see what dates are available, thanks keird. Are you and your fiance combining your wedding with your other relative's wedding? Smart to save $$$ for a house/honeymoon, I'm trying to keep total costs under $10k which is looking nearly impossible to do at this point.

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: richardycc
so you will pick a reception hall somwhere in MA/CT site unseen? wow...well anyway, what are you looking for anyway, are you looking for an old castle, country club, a cheapie place, a place with an awesome view, etc? Maybe I can give you a few suggestions.

Completely unseen. Most websites have great pictures though and I've also been searching the web for wedding pictures of other receptions/ceremonies that have taken place at those sites. His family is all on the East coast so they can probably check out the to 4 or 5 sites we choose. An old castle would be amazing, not too into the country club feel (a little too generic?), views would be ideal for pictures, and of course cheapie if possible. Any and all suggestions greatly appreciated for those who have been/seen/done before!

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
Hmmmm, isn't this like your fifth wedding?

Nope, I've been engaged before but never married.

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: moshquerade
This should be moved to L&R.

Not sure how to move it...

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: malbojah
New Seabury's Popponesset Inn

Wow... that looks amazing but pricey... Cape Cod = $$$?

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: BoomerD
If you can manage it in any way...go for the Maui wedding. All you need is your close family, the best man and maid of honor...everyone else can wait until the reception...at YOUR convenience. You won't regret getting married in Maui at all, even if it's a small wedding.

BTW, congrats...(or my deepest sympathy)

I remind my wife occasionally (when I don't plan to eat for a few days) that if I'd have killed her 30 years ago, I'd be out and living the single life long before now...
Do try to keep in mind, that even in our "throw-away society," marriages take work by both parties...and it's not always easy...I see far too many people throwing in the towel at the first fight or rough patch...IMO, it's USUALLY worth working things out.
<going on 34 years of "married bliss"> :roll:

(I think she's watching me type this... )

Sadly enough we've completely ruled out the Maui wedding, it just isn't feasible given the current state of the economy and the fact that both our parents are struggling financially (right now it's looking like we'll be funding the entire wedding on our own). His groomsmen are all in the early stages of their career and although most of my bridesmaids could make it, the number of bridesmaids/groomsmen would be bigger than the actual wedding party! Sigh.

Thank you for the kind and honest advice, I've been in a number of long-term relationships that haven't worked out and love alone is definitely not enough. I know that it's going to take a lot of hard work and am ready to put in that work, as is he. Of all my friends, 6 couples are divorced (and under the age of 35) and only 2 are still married. The odds seem against us but we are both committed... congratulations on your 34 (WOW!) years of married bliss ... keeping a sense of humor is what keeps many couples going strong, I'm glad we have that too. We can always make each other laugh even in the most dire situations, I'm excited to share my life with him.

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: Howard
Please don't spend too much money.

Originally posted by: akshatp

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: eakers
I have no advice, just a big congrats! I am so happy for you

Thank you so much sweetheart, I am beyond excited and so very much in love. Trying not to let the stress of the wedding planning get to met yet!

Even with our small wedding (maybe 30 people), there was a lot of that, I can't imagine doing a bigger one.

Wow, 30 people is a very intimate wedding... did you help your fiance with the wedding planning? I don't think ours will be more than 80 which seems very big now :Q

Damn you guys are lucky. Ours had 450!!!

Yeah, but you're Indian.

450?!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????? Good grief!!!!! I don't think we even know 450 people between the two of us. :Q Do you mind if I ask how much the wedding cost...?

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: Barack Obama
We want pics after the wedding !

Congrats

Yessir. Thank you very much!

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: boomerang

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: boomerang
Married here, honeymooned in Hawaii for us.

How's about that for another option?

I'll tell you something and these are my real and true feelings. If I opened up a wedding invitation and it involved a plane trip under the circumstances you've described, I'd be pissed. I really feel it's inconsiderate to your guests. You'll greatly reduce the attendance and if that's what you want to accomplish then go for it. I'm not pulling any punches, this is exactly how I'd feel.

Exactly, that's what we agreed on after researching plane ticket prices, etc. Honeymooning in Hawaii or elsewhere it will be, we're going to plan to have the wedding on the East coast (where a majority of his friends/family live) to make it more cost-friendly for everyone.

If you do end up honeymooning in Hawaii, rent a privately owned condo or home. If you want a pool, think condo. The rental market is very competitive right now with supply far exceeding demand.

Even if the market was not in the state it's in right now, a condo or home is a far better deal than a hotel room. Far less expensive, much more privacy, far nicer accommodations than a hotel room, etc., etc. Car rentals are very reasonable right now too. Food however, is expensive.

That's a great suggestion, hotel rooms are insanely expensive and checking out a few privately-owned condos/houses it appears the price is definitely right. Since the wedding will be on the East coast we are also considering honeymooning in Eastern Europe/Ireland since we're on that coast instead of flying back to the West coast and Hawaii from there.

 

[Nik]

Originally posted by: MrsBugi
I'm engaged!

Here we go again...

 

[Anubis]

Originally posted by: akshatp


Damn you guys are lucky. Ours had 450!!!

you had 3x more people at your wedding then were in my HS graduating class

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Yes, this is definitely "the one!"

Unfortunately we ruled out out Maui as being much too expensive for our guests with plane tickets ranging from $950-1200 departing from LAX/BOS/DFW. Given the current state of the economy it wouldn't be fair to make everyone pay so much for a destination wedding, now we are considering somewhere in MA.

(and yes there will only be one marriage! divorce is NOT an option)

That's nice that you care about your guests.

My gf and I (if we end up getting married) want to go overseas, and only have a few people there (who pay their own way, and non-family).

Our view on it is that it would be our day, not theirs. I don't care if family/friends are there outside of 2-3 people, and so the wedding would be small and personal. The reception would be back here though with family/friends, but the ceremony I don't like people so I wouldn't want people there (outside of a few).

Glad to see your not as selfish as I am though

It sounds like you and your girlfriend agree on what you want (if/when the proposal happens! ) which is so important. If both of you are happy with a small (and VERY intimate!) wedding then that's what matters.

I don't like some people but am quite fond of a few.

Yeah luckily we do agree that we would want a small wedding.

I am fond of a lot, but how our families each are (mainly mine, but to a lesser extent hers) it would be much more stressful and unneeded drama. My side has a lot of divorced family who are remarried, and I don't want to deal with any kind of issues from that. Luckily she doesn't want a big wedding, and we are both friends with all the people we would want there (I think 6 in total+us).

Congrats on getting married, and hope you have an awesome wedding

Oh and PS, I agree with BoomerD get married where YOU want to. Once again it is YOUR (and your spouses) DAY, not theirs. Do what the two of YOU want, and make sure it is what you two want your wedding to be. Once that is done, then figure out how many people can go to your wedding. Have the reception close for people who couldn't make it to the ceremony, but do the ceremony where you want regardless of what others want.

The less stress, especially on your day, is key. I understand wanting to avoid potential drama between divorced family members, a 6-person wedding (including you!!!!!) will definitely cut down on any stress/weirdness/awkwardness. Thank you for the well-wishes, I hope that you two have an awesome wedding as well!

Right now it's fun and exciting to plan yet stressful as the costs keep adding up. I'll try to remember to keep it ours although there's a lot of pressure from both sides to cater to their needs...

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: wwswimming
how about Cape Cod ? my brother had a wedding there at one of the huge inns,
a few hundred guests. planned by

http://weddingbeautiful.com/new_page_1.htm

i think it helps to get out on the Cape, sort of an escape from the stress of the city.

plus if you have it in the late spring or summer, there's swimming for everybody.

i suggest the area around Kennebunkport, then your guests can take a cruise &
eat lobster and say, "ooooh, i saw the Kennedy's" (and did or did not flip them the
bird, depending on their persuasion.)

P.S.
oh yeah, Kennebunkport is in Maine. and it's the Bush's. i get America's pseudo-
royalty mixed up.

OH YEAH. omm. Congratulations !

I actually checked out their website!! Thanks for the recommendation, their work is incredible but they are definitely on the higher end of the price spectrum. Cape Cod and Nantucket all seem extremely beautiful yet incredibly expensive, especially in the summer. A lobster cruise would be wonderful for everyone, I wish we could win the lotto to pay for something like that. Right now it's looking like our $10k budget will have to be extended to $15k, I really don't want to go over that... sigh.

Thank you for the congrats, we'll make it work one way or another.

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: KeithTalent

Originally posted by: Howard
Please don't spend too much money.

This.

KT

:thumbsup:

Our budget is $10k, max $15k... kinda sad since a few wedding planners I contacted basically laughed at me when I told them my budget and told me that their fees for wedding planning services ALONE start at $5500 and to budget $80-120 per guest.