No more Maui wedding, planning for a July 2009 MA wedding now...

[MrsBugi]

I'm engaged! 🙂

That being said, I'm feeling completely lost because I have no idea where to begin in terms of wedding planning. My mom suggested we set a date sometime in the next 6-9 months and a Hawaiian wedding would be nice... the thing is, most of our friends and family live in Los Angeles and/or can't afford to fly to Hawaii for a wedding, so would it make more sense to have the wedding in Hawaii and the reception in LA? Or both the wedding and reception in LA?

If anyone has any "where to start planning a wedding" website suggestions I'd really appreciate it. I'm feeling clueless and overwhelmed but extremely happy. 😀

EDIT: Maui is out as a wedding location, it's way too expensive and inconsiderate of our guests' finances, especially given the current state of the economy.

Since most of his friends and relatives live in MA, I'm going to start planning a July 2009 wedding somewhere in MA/CT. The wedding planning process is pretty overwhelming, I'm hoping I'll get the hang of it sooner rather than later. 🙂

 

[Baked]

Obligatory "Liar liar, pants on fire."

 

[sash1]

weren't you already engaged a while ago?

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: Baked
Obligatory "Liar liar, pants on fire."

Thanks for getting it out of the way, Baked. 😛 The haters can hate all they'd like, I've explained once and am not going to kill myself doing it again. I'm happy and looking for wedding advice and that's that!

I was engaged twice before but never married (thank goodness! I was so young...).

 

[CFster]

Got married on Maui 12 years ago. It had originally been our honeymoon destination, but as the wedding plans got more hectic and the fighting over the arrangements started between families we said "screw it" and hopped on the plane and just got married there - by ourselves. We had a great time. My wife brought her wedding dress and hung it in the closet at the front of the plane. The flight attendants wouldn't leave us alone as they thought the whole thing was very romantic. I rented a tux there.

Since it was so long ago I don't remember who the photographer and videographer were (they were a married couple). We had our ceremony on a private beach on the southern side of the island somewhere in Makena. Pictures at sunset. Came out great. Spent a few days on Maui and a few days on Oahu (which I didn't care for). I'd love to go back to see some of the other islands.

All I can tell you is get online. ALL of our arrangements were made via email and like I said that was 12 years ago.

 

[ruu]

Destination weddings kind be kind of off-putting if you don't pay attention to the fact that not everyone can afford them. However, you've already recognized that yourself, so if you have to get married in Hawaii, go with only superclose family and friends and have the reception in a more reasonable, close-to-home location. 🙂

 

[compuwiz1]

Ask Dog the bounty hunter. I think he got married there.

And as much shit as you get here, (most of it self inflicted / self deserving, brought on from all the attention whoring) I'm surprised you even bother to post here.

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: CFster
Got married on Maui 12 years ago. It had originally been our honeymoon destination, but as the wedding plans got more hectic and the fighting over the arrangements started between families we said "screw it" and hopped on the plane and just got married there - by ourselves. We had a great time. My wife brought her wedding dress and hung it in the closet at the front of the plane. The flight attendants wouldn't leave us alone as they thought the whole thing was very romantic. I rented a tux there.

Since it was so long ago I don't remember who the photographer and videographer were (they were a married couple). We had our ceremony on a private beach on the southern side of the island somewhere in Makena. Pictures at sunset. Came out great. Spent a few days on Maui and a few days on Oahu (which I didn't care for). I'd love to go back to see some of the other islands.

All I can tell you is get online. ALL of our arrangements were made via email and like I said that was 12 years ago.

It sounds like an amazing experience. Do you regret not having your friends and family there? I heard Maui is much more beautiful than Oahu, I know it was 12 years ago but how much did everything cost?

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: ruu
Destination weddings kind be kind of off-putting if you don't pay attention to the fact that not everyone can afford them. However, you've already recognized that yourself, so if you have to get married in Hawaii, go with only superclose family and friends and have the reception in a more reasonable, close-to-home location. 🙂

Good advice, I think that's what I'm leaning towards... maybe a wedding in Hawaii and a reception in Malibu. 🙂 Do you know how many days apart is acceptable (wedding vs reception)?

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: compuwiz1
Ask Dog the bounty hunter. I think he got married there.

And as much shit as you get here, (most of it self inflicted / self deserving, brought on from all the attention whoring) I'm surprised you even bother to post here.

If Dog posted here I would! I was an AW back in the day but am way too old for stupid internet drama now. It's amazing how some people assume you're the same person at 28 as you are when you were 21 and can never let go of outdated and unfortunate conceptions. Life is much easier and happier sans AW/drama, I guess some people still like to thrive on it though.

I still post is because many AT members are able to offer very useful advice/opinions/info. 🙂

 

[ruu]

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: ruu
Destination weddings kind be kind of off-putting if you don't pay attention to the fact that not everyone can afford them. However, you've already recognized that yourself, so if you have to get married in Hawaii, go with only superclose family and friends and have the reception in a more reasonable, close-to-home location. 🙂

Good advice, I think that's what I'm leaning towards... maybe a wedding in Hawaii and a reception in Malibu. 🙂 Do you know how many days apart is acceptable (wedding vs reception)?

I don't think there's any etiquette about that sort of thing; if you're going to have a destination wedding, nobody should expect you guys to hold the reception the second you come back. I would say... within the month? I don't know crap about wedding convention, though. 😛

 

[sash1]

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: Baked
Obligatory "Liar liar, pants on fire."

Thanks for getting it out of the way, Baked. 😛 The haters can hate all they'd like, I've explained once and am not going to kill myself doing it again. I'm happy and looking for wedding advice and that's that!

I was engaged twice before but never married (thank goodness! I was so young...).

so is this one "the one"? 🙂

i feel the separated wedding-reception is the best idea, especially if you feel so strongly about having a wedding in hawai'i. if having family/friends there for the wedding is more important, then obviously, both in cali/LA, wherever. but i say get married in hawai'i, you're only gonna have one marriage! (we hope 😛)

 

[boomerang]

Married here, honeymooned in Hawaii for us.

How's about that for another option?

I'll tell you something and these are my real and true feelings. If I opened up a wedding invitation and it involved a plane trip under the circumstances you've described, I'd be pissed. I really feel it's inconsiderate to your guests. You'll greatly reduce the attendance and if that's what you want to accomplish then go for it. I'm not pulling any punches, this is exactly how I'd feel.

 

[CFster]

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: CFster
Got married on Maui 12 years ago. It had originally been our honeymoon destination, but as the wedding plans got more hectic and the fighting over the arrangements started between families we said "screw it" and hopped on the plane and just got married there - by ourselves. We had a great time. My wife brought her wedding dress and hung it in the closet at the front of the plane. The flight attendants wouldn't leave us alone as they thought the whole thing was very romantic. I rented a tux there.

Since it was so long ago I don't remember who the photographer and videographer were (they were a married couple). We had our ceremony on a private beach on the southern side of the island somewhere in Makena. Pictures at sunset. Came out great. Spent a few days on Maui and a few days on Oahu (which I didn't care for). I'd love to go back to see some of the other islands.

All I can tell you is get online. ALL of our arrangements were made via email and like I said that was 12 years ago.

It sounds like an amazing experience. Do you regret not having your friends and family there? I heard Maui is much more beautiful than Oahu, I know it was 12 years ago but how much did everything cost?

Yeah I regretted not having everybody there, but in retrospect we couldn't afford to bring them there, and it would have been selfish to ask them to come on their own. We're the type of people who feel $10K or $20K for a party is just ridiculous and money better spent buying a house (which we did).

We just had a casual cookout kind of party after we got back.

The most expensive part was the pictures and video but I think that was still under $1000. Really it was just a matter of a marriage license other than that. The rest of it was vacation activities we were going to do anyway.

The plane fair was kind of a special deal. We had a friend that worked for American who got us a discount under some kind of special status. I guess if you're a friend you pay a certain amount, and if you're family you pay even less. Anyway, we ended up getting bumped UP to first class on the flight back which was a very nice ending to our trip.

Oahu was just too built up. Honolulu is just a metropolis. We enjoyed vising Pearl Harbor but that was about it for that island. We almost left there early and were going to go back to Maui!

 

[eakers]

I have no advice, just a big congrats! I am so happy for you 🙂

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: sash1

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: Baked
Obligatory "Liar liar, pants on fire."

Thanks for getting it out of the way, Baked. 😛 The haters can hate all they'd like, I've explained once and am not going to kill myself doing it again. I'm happy and looking for wedding advice and that's that!

I was engaged twice before but never married (thank goodness! I was so young...).

so is this one "the one"? 🙂

i feel the separated wedding-reception is the best idea, especially if you feel so strongly about having a wedding in hawai'i. if having family/friends there for the wedding is more important, then obviously, both in cali/LA, wherever. but i say get married in hawai'i, you're only gonna have one marriage! (we hope 😛)

Yes, this is definitely "the one!" 😀

Unfortunately we ruled out out Maui as being much too expensive for our guests with plane tickets ranging from $950-1200 departing from LAX/BOS/DFW. 🙁 Given the current state of the economy it wouldn't be fair to make everyone pay so much for a destination wedding, now we are considering somewhere in MA. 🙂

(and yes there will only be one marriage! divorce is NOT an option)

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: boomerang
Married here, honeymooned in Hawaii for us.

How's about that for another option?

I'll tell you something and these are my real and true feelings. If I opened up a wedding invitation and it involved a plane trip under the circumstances you've described, I'd be pissed. I really feel it's inconsiderate to your guests. You'll greatly reduce the attendance and if that's what you want to accomplish then go for it. I'm not pulling any punches, this is exactly how I'd feel.

Exactly, that's what we agreed on after researching plane ticket prices, etc. Honeymooning in Hawaii or elsewhere it will be, we're going to plan to have the wedding on the East coast (where a majority of his friends/family live) to make it more cost-friendly for everyone. 🙂

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: CFster

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: CFster
Got married on Maui 12 years ago. It had originally been our honeymoon destination, but as the wedding plans got more hectic and the fighting over the arrangements started between families we said "screw it" and hopped on the plane and just got married there - by ourselves. We had a great time. My wife brought her wedding dress and hung it in the closet at the front of the plane. The flight attendants wouldn't leave us alone as they thought the whole thing was very romantic. I rented a tux there.

Since it was so long ago I don't remember who the photographer and videographer were (they were a married couple). We had our ceremony on a private beach on the southern side of the island somewhere in Makena. Pictures at sunset. Came out great. Spent a few days on Maui and a few days on Oahu (which I didn't care for). I'd love to go back to see some of the other islands.

All I can tell you is get online. ALL of our arrangements were made via email and like I said that was 12 years ago.

It sounds like an amazing experience. Do you regret not having your friends and family there? I heard Maui is much more beautiful than Oahu, I know it was 12 years ago but how much did everything cost?

Yeah I regretted not having everybody there, but in retrospect we couldn't afford to bring them there, and it would have been selfish to ask them to come on their own. We're the type of people who feel $10K or $20K for a party is just ridiculous and money better spent buying a house (which we did).

We just had a casual cookout kind of party after we got back.

The most expensive part was the pictures and video but I think that was still under $1000. Really it was just a matter of a marriage license other than that. The rest of it was vacation activities we were going to do anyway.

The plane fair was kind of a special deal. We had a friend that worked for American who got us a discount under some kind of special status. I guess if you're a friend you pay a certain amount, and if you're family you pay even less. Anyway, we ended up getting bumped UP to first class on the flight back which was a very nice ending to our trip.

Oahu was just too built up. Honolulu is just a metropolis. We enjoyed vising Pearl Harbor but that was about it for that island. We almost left there early and were going to go back to Maui!

It sounds like you had an amazing experience, I'm sad that I won't be able to have a Maui wedding after all but there's always the honeymoon. 🙂 You got some great deals too! I've been to Oahu as well and thought it was way too touristy.

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: eakers
I have no advice, just a big congrats! I am so happy for you 🙂

Thank you so much sweetheart, I am beyond excited and so very much in love. 🙂 Trying not to let the stress of the wedding planning get to met yet! 😛

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: eakers
I have no advice, just a big congrats! I am so happy for you 🙂

Thank you so much sweetheart, I am beyond excited and so very much in love. 🙂 Trying not to let the stress of the wedding planning get to met yet! 😛

 

[Anubis]

i suggest having your wedding someplace most of your friends/fam can afford to make it to, having it in Hawaii woudl be cool, but not if 80% of the people you know cant afford to get there

 

[MrsBugi]

Originally posted by: Anubis
i suggest having your wedding someplace most of your friends/fam can afford to make it to, having it in Hawaii woudl be cool, but not if 80% of the people you know cant afford to get there

Agreed, when my fiance and I started seriously considering costs, we realized the bridal party would be bigger than all of the guests who would be able to come combined. No more Maui, it will be a Massachusetts wedding instead. Thanks for the feedback Anubis!

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: eakers
I have no advice, just a big congrats! I am so happy for you 🙂

Thank you so much sweetheart, I am beyond excited and so very much in love. 🙂 Trying not to let the stress of the wedding planning get to met yet! 😛

Even with our small wedding (maybe 30 people), there was a lot of that, I can't imagine doing a bigger one.

 

[DisgruntledVirus]

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Yes, this is definitely "the one!" 😀

Unfortunately we ruled out out Maui as being much too expensive for our guests with plane tickets ranging from $950-1200 departing from LAX/BOS/DFW. 🙁 Given the current state of the economy it wouldn't be fair to make everyone pay so much for a destination wedding, now we are considering somewhere in MA. 🙂

(and yes there will only be one marriage! divorce is NOT an option)

That's nice that you care about your guests.

My gf and I (if we end up getting married) want to go overseas, and only have a few people there (who pay their own way, and non-family).

Our view on it is that it would be our day, not theirs. I don't care if family/friends are there outside of 2-3 people, and so the wedding would be small and personal. The reception would be back here though with family/friends, but the ceremony I don't like people so I wouldn't want people there (outside of a few).

Glad to see your not as selfish as I am though 😛

 

[Anubis]

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: sash1

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: Baked
Obligatory "Liar liar, pants on fire."

Thanks for getting it out of the way, Baked. 😛 The haters can hate all they'd like, I've explained once and am not going to kill myself doing it again. I'm happy and looking for wedding advice and that's that!

I was engaged twice before but never married (thank goodness! I was so young...).

so is this one "the one"? 🙂

i feel the separated wedding-reception is the best idea, especially if you feel so strongly about having a wedding in hawai'i. if having family/friends there for the wedding is more important, then obviously, both in cali/LA, wherever. but i say get married in hawai'i, you're only gonna have one marriage! (we hope 😛)

Yes, this is definitely "the one!" 😀

Unfortunately we ruled out out Maui as being much too expensive for our guests with plane tickets ranging from $950-1200 departing from LAX/BOS/DFW. 🙁 Given the current state of the economy it wouldn't be fair to make everyone pay so much for a destination wedding, now we are considering somewhere in MA. 🙂

(and yes there will only be one marriage! divorce is NOT an option)

is Murder an option?