No I am not hiring and even if I were I wouldn't consider you!!

[shiner]

I don't know how the hell these people looking for jobs keep getting my phone number and email address but they are driving me nuts. Yes I know the job market is tight, but annoying me with unsolicited calls and email resumes is not the way to get me to hire you!!!

 

[filmmaker]

Originally posted by: shinerburke
I don't know how the hell these people looking for jobs keep getting my phone number and email address but they are driving me nuts. Yes I know the job market is tight, but annoying me with unsolicited calls and email resumes is not the way to get me to hire you!!!

What is the best way, then?

 

[BatmanNate]

Damn it I posted your info in the seeking employment ad instead of the seeking hermaphrodite section that was next to it. Hold on a sec.

 

[shiner]

Originally posted by: filmmaker

Originally posted by: shinerburke
I don't know how the hell these people looking for jobs keep getting my phone number and email address but they are driving me nuts. Yes I know the job market is tight, but annoying me with unsolicited calls and email resumes is not the way to get me to hire you!!!

What is the best way, then?

Oh, I dunno....how about contacting the company HR department?

 

[crisp82]

d00d, can I have a job. mines poo and the market is kinda tight at the mo.

 

[CChaos]

What is it that you do over there in Yee Haw?

 

[shiner]

Originally posted by: CChaos
What is it that you do over there in Yee Haw?

Well shucks....wez mainly jus drive aroun in ourn F-150's drinking RC Cola and ever so ofen jumpin outta the truck to tip some cows.

 

[conjur]

Originally posted by: shinerburke

Originally posted by: filmmaker

Originally posted by: shinerburke
I don't know how the hell these people looking for jobs keep getting my phone number and email address but they are driving me nuts. Yes I know the job market is tight, but annoying me with unsolicited calls and email resumes is not the way to get me to hire you!!!

What is the best way, then?

Oh, I dunno....how about contacting the company HR department?

Ah....but a direct line to a prospective manager/director is much better than an HR department where resumes get buried and forgotten.

 

[filmmaker]

Originally posted by: conjur

Originally posted by: shinerburke

Originally posted by: filmmaker

Originally posted by: shinerburke
I don't know how the hell these people looking for jobs keep getting my phone number and email address but they are driving me nuts. Yes I know the job market is tight, but annoying me with unsolicited calls and email resumes is not the way to get me to hire you!!!

What is the best way, then?

Oh, I dunno....how about contacting the company HR department?

Ah....but a direct line to a prospective manager/director is much better than an HR department where resumes get buried and forgotten.

That's what I'm thinking.

 

[wyvrn]

Yep. When the economy is tight and jobs are scarce, people get desparate for a job. They have mortgages to pay and mouths to feed. After they have contacted 1000 HR departments only to never hear anything, I understand where they might try something more aggressive. You might not hire them, but in their mind, that is no worse than getting an automatic no response from HR departments.

Originally posted by: conjur

Originally posted by: shinerburke

Originally posted by: filmmaker

Originally posted by: shinerburke
I don't know how the hell these people looking for jobs keep getting my phone number and email address but they are driving me nuts. Yes I know the job market is tight, but annoying me with unsolicited calls and email resumes is not the way to get me to hire you!!!

What is the best way, then?

Oh, I dunno....how about contacting the company HR department?

Ah....but a direct line to a prospective manager/director is much better than an HR department where resumes get buried and forgotten.

 

[shiner]

This is an example of the crap I've been getting...

Dear ******,

Kindly permit my enterance to your organisation

for the experience needed to accomplish my

goal.

Looking forward to hearing from you. I do not

have my resume handy right here, but will send it as

soon as you give the go ahead to do so.

Sincerely,

*******


Now what the hell am I supposed to think after reading that? What is his goal? Why would I want to give him the experience or permit him "enterance" to my organisation?

 

[conjur]

ok, yeah, that one's crap!

 

[shiner]

Originally posted by: conjur

Originally posted by: shinerburke

Originally posted by: filmmaker

Originally posted by: shinerburke
I don't know how the hell these people looking for jobs keep getting my phone number and email address but they are driving me nuts. Yes I know the job market is tight, but annoying me with unsolicited calls and email resumes is not the way to get me to hire you!!!

What is the best way, then?

Oh, I dunno....how about contacting the company HR department?

Ah....but a direct line to a prospective manager/director is much better than an HR department where resumes get buried and forgotten.

In reality it's a sure way to make sure you are never considered. Nothing more annoying that unsolicited phone calls jamming up your voicemail and email after email of resumes clogging your mailbox.

 

[edro]

Be a male nurse...

 

[ElFenix]

Originally posted by: shinerburke
This is an example of the crap I've been getting...

Dear ******,

Kindly permit my enterance to your organisation

for the experience needed to accomplish my

goal.

Looking forward to hearing from you. I do not

have my resume handy right here, but will send it as

soon as you give the go ahead to do so.

Sincerely,

*******


Now what the hell am I supposed to think after reading that? What is his goal? Why would I want to give him the experience or permit him "enterance" to my organisation?

hahah that guy can't even spell

 

[CPA]

Originally posted by: shinerburke
This is an example of the crap I've been getting...

Dear ******,

Kindly permit my enterance to your organisation

for the experience needed to accomplish my

goal.

Looking forward to hearing from you. I do not

have my resume handy right here, but will send it as

soon as you give the go ahead to do so.

Sincerely,

*******


Now what the hell am I supposed to think after reading that? What is his goal? Why would I want to give him the experience or permit him "enterance" to my organisation?

Post some more, that's funny.

 

[isekii]

Originally posted by: filmmaker

Originally posted by: shinerburke
I don't know how the hell these people looking for jobs keep getting my phone number and email address but they are driving me nuts. Yes I know the job market is tight, but annoying me with unsolicited calls and email resumes is not the way to get me to hire you!!!

What is the best way, then?

sexual favors

 

[Ranger X]

What's your e-mail and phone number? I wanna get in on it too!

 

[DaveSimmons]

Kindly permit my enterance to your organisation

for the experience needed to accomplish my

goal.

Sounds like a message from Lord John Whorfin.

"Not my damn planet monkey-boy." -- John Bigboote

 

[Emveach]

Originally posted by: shinerburke

Originally posted by: CChaos
What is it that you do over there in Yee Haw?

Well shucks....wez mainly jus drive aroun in ourn F-150's drinking RC Cola and ever so ofen jumpin outta the truck to tip some cows.

Hey....I'm from Ohio...I got the background for cow tipping.

 

[gopunk]

haha what a horrible letter...

more!

 

[shiner]

Here are some of my favorite phrases from the resumes I've been getting....

To obtain a position designing applications for data manipulation utilizing databases combining with web
technology where vision innovation and problems solving skills will help improve the company?s information
system while utilizing proactive ideas to encourage more proficient use of new data.

That's one hell of a sentence.....too bad I have no idea what it means....

Led a team of 20 multi-functional employees in daily efficiency exercises

Does that mean they could chew gum and walk at the same time?

Requested by group leader, of Personal Computer Applications, to transfer to assist him in developing structure and stability to his organization.

Ummm....Maybe I took it the wrong way but I'm not sure I would put that on a resume.

ENGINEERING TECH at ****** INCORPORATED 12/00 to 10/01

Assisted in testing security software system.

Installed modem, and reconfigured monitor drives.

Does that first part mean he's a hacker? As for the second part....wow...he installed a modem all by himself. Anyone know what a "monitor drives" is?

Quantitative photometric assays using partition/gel-filtration/ion-exchange chromatography;
kinetics of enzymatic and nonenzymatic catalysis of a reaction; enzyme assay in purification of
glutamate-oxalacetate transaminase from pig heart using ammonium sulfate
fractionation/desalting by dialysis/chromatography on carboxymethyl cellulose; glucose-1-
phosphate enzymatic formation from starch using Fiske-Subbarrow method; heat of combustion
using bomb calorimeter; emulsification of fat by bile salts; acid-base titration on bile acids;
solubilities of silver halides by EMF measurements; kinetics of Ester hydrolysis catalyzed by
imidazole; diffusion coefficient using optical theory

That's impressive....not sure how it's useful for someone seeking a server engineering job. Unless of course she's going to make our servers from scratch.

The best I've seen so far was from someone who was a "Unics Administrator" wish I hadn't deleted that resume.....had me laughing for a solid 30 minutes.

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: shinerburke
This is an example of the crap I've been getting...

Dear ******,

Kindly permit my enterance to your organisation

for the experience needed to accomplish my

goal.

Looking forward to hearing from you. I do not

have my resume handy right here, but will send it as

soon as you give the go ahead to do so.

Sincerely,

*******


Now what the hell am I supposed to think after reading that? What is his goal? Why would I want to give him the experience or permit him "enterance" to my organisation?

Can I send my most splendidly resume or what?

 

[shiner]

Originally posted by: Nitemare

Originally posted by: shinerburke
This is an example of the crap I've been getting...

Dear ******,

Kindly permit my enterance to your organisation

for the experience needed to accomplish my

goal.

Looking forward to hearing from you. I do not

have my resume handy right here, but will send it as

soon as you give the go ahead to do so.

Sincerely,

*******


Now what the hell am I supposed to think after reading that? What is his goal? Why would I want to give him the experience or permit him "enterance" to my organisation?

Can I send my most splendidly resume or what?

Only if it's splendiferous.

 

[Garet Jax]

Why are they all contacting you?