BASICS OF MARKETING (What they don't teach you in
------------------- Business School).
You go to a party and see an attractive girl across
the room. You go up to her and say, " Hi, I'm great in
bed, how about it ?"
Thats DIRECT MARKETING.
You go to a party and see an attractive girl across
the room. You give your friend a tenner. She goes up
and says, "Hi, my friend over there is great in bed.
How about it ?"
Thats ADVERTISING.
You go to a party and you see an attractive girl
across the room. You somehow mop up her mobile number.
You call and chat her up a while and then say "Hi, I'm
great in bed, how about it ?"
Thats TELE-MARKETING.
You go to a party and you see an attractive girl
across the room. You recognize her. You walk up to
her, refresh her memory, get her to laugh and giggle
and then suggest "I'm great in bed, how about it ?".
Thats CUSTOMER RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT.
You go to a party and see an attractive girl across
the room. You put on your spring boots and walk around
playing Mr. busy. You put on your best smile and walk
around being Mr. Congenial. You fresh all the
Thesaurus links in your memory and play Mr. Polished.
You stand straight, you talk soft and smooth, you open
the door for the ladies, you smile like a dream, you
set an aura around you playing the Mr. Gentleman and
then you move up to the girl and say, "Hi, I am great
in bed, how about it ?"
Thats HARD SELLING.
You go to a party, you see an attractive girl across
the room. SHE COMES OVER and says, "Hi. I hear you're
great in bed, how about it ?"
Now that is the Power of BRANDING !!
BIG 5 joke
It was the first day of school and a new student named
Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the
fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some
American history. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me
Death?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki,
"Patrick Henry, 1775." He said.
"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the
people, for the people, shall not perish from the
earth'?" Again, no response except from Suzuki:
"Abraham Lincoln, 1863.", said Suzuki
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be
ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more
about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Japs."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna
puke." The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who
said that?"
Again, Suzuki says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister,
1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the
teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little
shlt. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary
Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around
the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shlt, we're in BIG
trouble!" and Suzuki said,
"Arthur Andersen, 2001."
------------------- Business School).
You go to a party and see an attractive girl across
the room. You go up to her and say, " Hi, I'm great in
bed, how about it ?"
Thats DIRECT MARKETING.
You go to a party and see an attractive girl across
the room. You give your friend a tenner. She goes up
and says, "Hi, my friend over there is great in bed.
How about it ?"
Thats ADVERTISING.
You go to a party and you see an attractive girl
across the room. You somehow mop up her mobile number.
You call and chat her up a while and then say "Hi, I'm
great in bed, how about it ?"
Thats TELE-MARKETING.
You go to a party and you see an attractive girl
across the room. You recognize her. You walk up to
her, refresh her memory, get her to laugh and giggle
and then suggest "I'm great in bed, how about it ?".
Thats CUSTOMER RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT.
You go to a party and see an attractive girl across
the room. You put on your spring boots and walk around
playing Mr. busy. You put on your best smile and walk
around being Mr. Congenial. You fresh all the
Thesaurus links in your memory and play Mr. Polished.
You stand straight, you talk soft and smooth, you open
the door for the ladies, you smile like a dream, you
set an aura around you playing the Mr. Gentleman and
then you move up to the girl and say, "Hi, I am great
in bed, how about it ?"
Thats HARD SELLING.
You go to a party, you see an attractive girl across
the room. SHE COMES OVER and says, "Hi. I hear you're
great in bed, how about it ?"
Now that is the Power of BRANDING !!
BIG 5 joke
It was the first day of school and a new student named
Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the
fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some
American history. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me
Death?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki,
"Patrick Henry, 1775." He said.
"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the
people, for the people, shall not perish from the
earth'?" Again, no response except from Suzuki:
"Abraham Lincoln, 1863.", said Suzuki
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be
ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more
about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Japs."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna
puke." The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who
said that?"
Again, Suzuki says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister,
1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the
teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little
shlt. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary
Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around
the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shlt, we're in BIG
trouble!" and Suzuki said,
"Arthur Andersen, 2001."
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