Nice Guys Finish Last . . . in the Workplace

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Bateluer

Bateluer

Lifer
Jun 23, 2001
27,730
8
0
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/worklife/03/03/cb.nice.guys.finish.last/index.html

An interesting read, but I'd have to agree with them. You cannot be an effective leader and still please everybody all of the time. You're going to hurt feelings, step on toes, fire hardworking, honest people, and apply pressure when needed. If you cannot do these things, then you shouldn't be in a position of leadership and authority. Nobody rises to the top by being Mr. Nice all of the time. The article also points out that being too abrasive and toxic will also derail the career and create a ceiling.

A leader must be able to perform in ways challenging for someone who is hard-wired for cooperation. "Let's all get along" just doesn't work in the workplace.

To be a successful manager, you have to manage controversial issues as well as provide constructive (and not always positive) feedback. You'll have to make difficult decisions and help correct poor performance. Added to this, you'll have to be able to deal effectively with conflict and take less popular stands when needed -- challenging for those who want to be liked.

If you are that type of person, you may also be much less likely to stand up for yourself because you don't want to rock the boat, or be less assertive in asking for raises, promotions and career opportunities. Thus, others may take advantage of you or you might not get recognized for your accomplishments.

It has been proved that when "nice" leaders fail to manage conflicts, make hard decisions or deal with problem subordinates or areas, they are often accused of not providing strong leadership, lacking courage or just frankly needing to be tougher.
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StageLeft

StageLeft

No Lifer
Sep 29, 2000
70,150
5
0
I don't agree. I'm very far ahead and very nice. Everyone thinks I'm nice and says it to my face and once in a blue moon when somebody doesn't I humiliate them in front of everybody in as big a meeting as I can. I have brought people to a state of clinical PTSD by the things I've said to them in front of their co-workers. I break them in ways they never imagined possible. So, who says nice guys finish last?
 
C

Carmen813

Diamond Member
May 18, 2007
3,189
0
76
This is about how to be a manager, not a leader. I don't actually agree with the articles premise. He is talking about "being nice" but what he means is "being assertive."

I believe that few natural leaders are born, instead most of us learn (or can learn) what is required to be effective.
 
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Atreus21

Atreus21

Lifer
Aug 21, 2007
12,001
571
126
It's not mean versus nice.

It's strong versus weak.

Strong is not mean, and weak is not nice. Necessarily.
 
Mani

Mani

Diamond Member
Aug 9, 2001
4,808
1
0
One can be cordial and friendly but still be firm and demanding. Problem is "nice" has come to mean passive and easily taken advantage of, and obviously those traits don't translate well to career advancement.
 
StageLeft

StageLeft

No Lifer
Sep 29, 2000
70,150
5
0
highland145 said:
Read about this guy. Wonder why he's on wife #3.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/11/business/smallbusiness/11sbiz.html
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But if you don’t love your business as much as your family, your probability of success is very much lower. Sometimes you just have to put the business ahead of family considerations....This is my third marriage....if you’re not fully committed and prepared to sacrifice what many of us would view as the traditional family role, you have a much higher probability of failing in a small business.
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facepalm.jpg
 
IndyColtsFan

IndyColtsFan

Lifer
Sep 22, 2007
33,655
687
126
It isn't what you know, but who you know. Or it is about being at the right place at the right time. That's my experience in the workplace. Passive, assertive, it doesn't seem to matter.
 
First

First

Lifer
Jun 3, 2002
10,518
271
136
There's a difference between nice and meek, and I think the article is talking about the later more than the former. Nice people can be quite pleasant peole socially and in the workplace but when it comes to getting projects done and day-to-day tasks ironed out, they're hardcore and put a lot of pressure on people. But they're still "nice" in those scenarios, just not in a meek way.
 
Zebo

Zebo

Elite Member
Jul 29, 2001
39,398
19
81
You lead by example can either be positive or negative. But most people appreciate positive work and positive reinforcement since we are all inherently good. I found being no nonsense, never fraternize or put your dick in your check book, while still being willing to listen works best.
 
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JSt0rm

JSt0rm

Lifer
Sep 5, 2000
27,399
3,948
126
In my industry you better be willing to sacrifice. There are 200 people who want my job and will do it for less money tomorrow. Will they do it better? no. But thats why I must always do the best.
 
RearAdmiral

RearAdmiral

Platinum Member
Jun 24, 2004
2,280
135
106
I agree with the being assertive. My bosses are nice/cordial but respectfully put the hammer down when it's called for.

It's an art that needs to be learned. I certainly don't know how to play that game yet.
 
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