Next step in leaving the house?

[z0mb13]

btw what ethnicity is this?? I dont think asian chinese parents are THAT bad

Anyhoo I think they are bluffing you. Kids mean everything to Asian parents. Try calling their bluff by actually MOVING OUT and get a job on your own.

 

[Hacp]

Join the Navy/Air Force. Its not going to be that bad dude. I have friends of friends who decided to join the Navy because they were too poor.They went through college just fine and are doing something with nuclear power. I'm not quite sure.

I just noticed that you have the perfect Armed Forces name. You're practically halfway there!

 

[Mo0o]

Hmm my Chinese parents were no where near this bad. This sounds like your parents are really backwards and a bit uneducated.

I dunno, among all the Chinese parents my parents hang out with, they talk aobut raising kids and what the best methods are. They've all come to some form of compromise between teh Asian style and the American style that they think is best. This ends up giving me quite a bit of freedom to do whatever as long as I stay in school and keep up teh grades (although at this point the motivation is intrinsic). I live close to home so I go back on the weekends a lot but I can still go out w/ my friends whenever I want. Do your parents have other Chinese friends that are of parental age? Seems like there's no way they'll listen to you but they might listen to their peers.

Also really odd your parents are willing to compromise your education for anything.

 

[Mr. Lennon]

Get your parents some help. They are fucked and far from home on this one.

 

[LordMorpheus]

Seconded on the getting yourself into a ROTC program. With EE you're probably best off getting into an air force ROTC, but navy would be good, too.

And think about it - how awesome would it be to see the look on their faces when you tell them you've joined the military? (not that this by itself is a good reason to sign up ... )

 

[rudder]

Originally posted by: Ricemarine

- Voicemail threatening a missing persons report and stolen vehicle report
- Parents told me they'll disconnect me from phone, take me off car insurance, and not pay my spring quarter tuition (which they originally agreed to pay)
- They want the car back
- Mom decided to take the incentive to change the password to our home security system.

Just tell her you are joining the Marines because you need money for school. Hopefully she will not call your bluff since the Marines would not take someone like you who has a 10:00 curfew in college.

 

[Kirby]

1.) Pop 'em in the lip
2.) Go to jail for assault
3.) Start your life over as a convenience store clerk
4.) .....
5.) Profit!!

 

[Linflas]

Originally posted by: Ricemarine
Continuation of this

I just finished my winter quarter, and told my parents I would be going to the movies, which they didn't want me to because coming home at 10:00 PM is too late. So I called them back, and told them I'm spending the night at a friends... The next day:

- Voicemail threatening a missing persons report and stolen vehicle report
- Parents told me they'll disconnect me from phone, take me off car insurance, and not pay my spring quarter tuition (which they originally agreed to pay)
- They want the car back
- Mom decided to take the incentive to change the password to our home security system.

They can't file for a missing persons report because... I'm not missing. They can't file for a stolen vehicle report until after they take me off the insurance.
So now, I can't go back to college (just got accepted into the EE department), cell phone less, and now staying at friends' houses. I have no loans yet, and my financial aid needs to be changed but doesn't start until the 2009-2010 school year. They also called me and said "Good luck, I love you." So I guess all this for wanting some freedom over break huh?...




SO... where are the best places to get jobs? Any other tips?

And this is exactly why the police should devote minimal effort to missing persons reports involving adults absent some evidence of foul play. Adults have every right to "disappear" if they so choose and your parents threat shows the way it can be misused.

 

[K1052]

Join the military and lose your parent's phone number, permanently.

 

[darkxshade]

2 more posts and all your problems will go away.

 

[Inspector Jihad]

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
I side with your parents. Their house, their rules. Live by them or GTFO.

he did gtfo, fucktard.

 

[nixium]

Grovel, get forgiven. Go back home. Then plan your escape.

There's no sense making up permanently, this is just going to happen again.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

your tone suggests these are bad things, but i think the complete opposite is true

 

[artikk]

Originally posted by: nixium
Grovel, get forgiven. Go back home. Then plan your escape.

There's no sense making up permanently, this is just going to happen again.

this or born2wire's advice
if you require more time plan your escape first, then gtfo
if you decided that you've had enough, find a job, etc and try to make it on your own or join the military and finish your degree.

 

[ViviTheMage]

shit, if my rents had paid my school - i'd do whatever they asked!

that's better then making money, using your own time studying (not having to work) and gives you time to work on school.

after you graduate you should get out...just deal with it until then.

 

[meltdown75]

whenever i had a problem like this, all my Asian friend said was, "re-low Window Ninety-Five".

try reloading windows '95.

 

[Newbian]

This is obviously a setup for his 10,000th post.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Wow...WTF is the deal? Do you do drugs or have a history of lying, stealing, or otherwise betraying their trust? I'd go with the trying to make it on your own. Whatever you do, don't drop out of school. Getting a college degree should be the most important goal you have right now.

See if you can find someone to room with cheaply. Take public transportation, do without a phone, get a part time job to pay for your meager expenses.

Good luck man. :thumbsup:

 

[JDub02]

Personally, I'd suck it up for a few years while they're covering the bills. Either that or sign up for ROTC and join the AF or Navy. If you come out with a degree in EE and join the Navy as a nuke, you'll have one heck of a nice career ahead of you, either with the Navy or in the commercial nuclear field.

 

[racolvin]

DO NOT CAPITULATE!

If you give in to this "family blackmail" tactic all that will do is reinforce their belief that you can't handle life on your own and that their miserable view on life is the correct one.

Get your stuff, make sure you have all your important papers, get your clothes, etc. Then LEAVE and tell them directly that you're leaving because of THEIR behavior. Follow some earlier advice and take a leave of absence from school for a year while you work and get on your feet financially. Call your relatives that hate your parents and ask them for any help they might provide, just to spite your parents (whom they hate - helping you will give them an avenue for sticking it to them so it just might work).

Join the military if no other option presents itself. No shame in military service: it pays well, you'll get money for college, and best of all you can give your parents the giant F-OFF finger....

 

[fleshconsumed]

I've read the first thread when it was posted originally, but I didn't think it would have continuation.

Here's what I have to say. Your parents want what's best for you. They may be wrong in some things but I do not doubt their sincerity. Personally, I agree with them not wanting you to work while you study. Working in college puts you under a lot more stress than you think it does and it can bring your grades down. Working or getting internship during summer/winter vacations is totally fine, and you should do it IMO unless you also take summer courses. However, it is just not worth working in the fall/winter/spring while you are in school just to earn extra 4K in cash, which is what you can realistically expect by doing some part time job. Extra 4K a year are simply not worth the risk of bringing your GPA down and possibly losing your grants/scholarships if you have any.

What I do not agree with your parents is not letting you socialize. That's just plain wrong. Socializing with your peers, building friendships is important.

I also think you under appreciate how much your parents do for you. They provide you with roof, food, and they pay your tuition. Some people have advised you to GTFO. You could do that, but you'll find it's a hell of a lot more expensive than you think. You'll have to get your own clothes, food, utilities, rent, gas, car sticker, car insurance, car maintenance, and most of all tuition. Many people rack up enormous amount of debt when in school and it typically takes them at least 5 years to pay it off. You have a chance to walk away from school debt free while making decent amount of money. That is worth A LOT.


Ultimately it boils down to this. Yes, there are some things your parents are doing wrong, but their house, their rules, yes, they are expecting a lot of things from you, but they also provide a lot. You have three options as far as I see.

1. Try to make amends and go back to the way it used to, finish school as soon as you can, maybe take extra course here and there. Socialize as much as you can in school. Don't fret about your living situation or your parents.

2. Move out. Follow general advice that's been given, see if you can move in with a friend for the time being, if you cannot, your only choice is to go back to your parents if you do not want to end up homeless. Apply for scholarships, grants, start looking for job. It's the toughest option of all.

3. Make amends with your parents, and then plan your getaway. Find job, find place to live, then leave. It's sort of like with a job, don't quit your current job until you sign on with the new one.

 

[evident]

Originally posted by: fleshconsumed
I've read the first thread when it was posted originally, but I didn't think it would have continuation.

Here's what I have to say. Your parents want what's best for you. They may be wrong in some things but I do not doubt their sincerity. Personally, I agree with them not wanting you to work while you study. Working in college puts you under a lot more stress than you think it does and it can bring your grades down. Working or getting internship during summer/winter vacations is totally fine, and you should do it IMO unless you also take summer courses. However, it is just not worth working in the fall/winter/spring while you are in school just to earn extra 4K in cash, which is what you can realistically expect by doing some part time job. Extra 4K a year are simply not worth the risk of bringing your GPA down and possibly losing your grants/scholarships if you have any.

What I do not agree with your parents is not letting you socialize. That's just plain wrong. Socializing with your peers, building friendships is important.

I also think you under appreciate how much your parents do for you. They provide you with roof, food, and they pay your tuition. Some people have advised you to GTFO. You could do that, but you'll find it's a hell of a lot more expensive than you think. You'll have to get your own clothes, food, utilities, rent, gas, car sticker, car insurance, car maintenance, and most of all tuition. Many people rack up enormous amount of debt when in school and it typically takes them at least 5 years to pay it off. You have a chance to walk away from school debt free while making decent amount of money. That is worth A LOT.


Ultimately it boils down to this. Yes, there are some things your parents are doing wrong, but their house, their rules, yes, they are expecting a lot of things from you, but they also provide a lot. You have three options as far as I see.

1. Try to make amends and go back to the way it used to, finish school as soon as you can, maybe take extra course here and there. Socialize as much as you can in school. Don't fret about your living situation or your parents.

2. Move out. Follow general advice that's been given, see if you can move in with a friend for the time being, if you cannot, your only choice is to go back to your parents if you do not want to end up home:beer:less. Apply for scholarships, grants, start looking for job. It's the toughest option of all.

3. Make amends with your parents, and then plan your getaway. Find job, find place to live, then leave. It's sort of like with a job, don't quit your current job until you sign on with the new one.

my parents didnt want me to work either when i was in HS, but ended up letting me work during the summers. in college it was different because i had internships related to my career. your parents do make a good point by wanting you to focus fully on school, but like my parents and probably many other asian parents they get carried way to far away because they simply dont want you to fail in academics. they want to see you get a high paying job like the rest of the whiteys in the neighborhood that they compare you to and want what's best for you, but they do need to realize that you need to socialize. hell, my parents didnt even want me to have a gf till after i got my *masters*. i said screw that and now they dont care anymore.

i think you need to take a look at where your parents are coming from, and if they are anything like mine, you can definitely appreciate what they are trying to do for you. understanding their culture will really get you a long way, but in turn they also need to see that you need liberties as well. i think kicking you out is just a bluff on their part and they want to you to appreciate what they're doing for you (money for college, food, etc). you really shouldn't call it either. just stick it out w/ them and it will work out for you in the end

 

[Jeeebus]

I'm gonna go ahead and stick with my original 'Shens'

 

[Saga]

I'd venture to suggest that the parents who restrict someone of college age to ridiculous limitations like not being home past 10 are part of the reason so many young 20-somethings I meet are so goddamn sheltered. How unfortunate.

 

[rasczak]

It's just time for you to break away from your parents. If they're the "typical" asian parents, and guilt trip you about everything in your life from how you dress, to what you choose to do in college, then you don't need that bullshit in your life. leave and never look back. Go to the Counselor's office, and explain the situation, maybe they can help you pick up a student loan from somewhere.

BTW, where do you go to school?