New jokes

[N0pers0nality]

Anyone have any new jokes? I need a good laugh

 

[GodBlessTheUSA]

My travel agent royally screwed up my plane tickets, so here I am instead of Aruba. :|

Fixed and leaving tomorrow. 😀

Here's a joke...

A young boy asks his dad, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner
of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your mom is the administrator
of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of
your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny we'll call the Working
Class. Let's call your baby brother the Future. Now, think about that and
see if that makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later
that night he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. The little boy goes
to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake
her, he goes to the nanny's room.

Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed
with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I
understand politics now."

The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think
politics is about."

The little boy replies, "While Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the
Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored, and the Future is
in Deep Sh!t."

 

[SammyBoy]

that joke is so new it still has that new car smell.....

come on guys, how bout one my grandfather doesnt have hanging in his office for the last 15 years

 

[Platypus]

I could tell you some hilarious stuff, but then again, a weeks vacation doesnt sound too pleasent..

 

[GodBlessTheUSA]

A skeleton walks into a bar one night and hops on a stool. The bartender
asks "What'll ya have?" The skeleton says "get me Miller Lite." So the
bartender gets him his beer and says "anything else?" The skeleton says
"Ya..........a mop.............."

 

[KeithP]

Here is one...

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket,
where she selected a quart of milk, a carton of eggs,
,juice, and a package of bacon. As she was unloading
her items on the conveyer belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind her, watched as she placed her items in
front of the cashier.

He said, "You must be single."

The woman, a bit startled, looked at the four items on
the belt, and, seeing nothing particularly unusual about
her selections, said: "Well, y'know, that's right. But how
on earth did you know that?

The drunk said, "Cause you're uglier than sh#^."

 

[Warblad13]

haha
i am dying of laughter


from, ME

 

[webnewland]

Keith's is pretty funny

 

[j0lly]

<< Keith's is pretty funny >>



// A man walks into a bar and says, "OUCH".