NEVER TICK OFF A NURSE
A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital.
He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just
like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him.
She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.
After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"
She leaves the door to his room open on her way out ! He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing.
After a half hour, the man's doctor comes into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answers,
"What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"
After a pause, the doctor confesses, "Not with a daffodil".
The Second Joke!
A man on his way home from work in downtown Ottawa came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving." He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks, "Excuse me, Officer, what's the hold up?"
The Officer replies, "The Prime Minister is just so depressed about the corruption scandals that he stopped his limo in the middle of the freeway and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says the country hates him and he can't quit because he hasn't a big enough pension to retire. I'm walking round taking up a collection for him".
"Oh really? How much have you collected so far?"
"So far only about a hundred litres but I've got a lot of folks still siphoning."
A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital.
He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just
like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him.
She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.
After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"
She leaves the door to his room open on her way out ! He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing.
After a half hour, the man's doctor comes into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answers,
"What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"
After a pause, the doctor confesses, "Not with a daffodil".
The Second Joke!
A man on his way home from work in downtown Ottawa came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving." He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks, "Excuse me, Officer, what's the hold up?"
The Officer replies, "The Prime Minister is just so depressed about the corruption scandals that he stopped his limo in the middle of the freeway and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says the country hates him and he can't quit because he hasn't a big enough pension to retire. I'm walking round taking up a collection for him".
"Oh really? How much have you collected so far?"
"So far only about a hundred litres but I've got a lot of folks still siphoning."
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