• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

NEF thread for you alaskan cracker dudes

B

Bleep

Diamond Member
Subject: Alaskan story


Sam had been in business for 25 years and was finally sick of the stress.
He quit his job and bought 50 acres in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.

He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month.
Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door.
He opens it and there is a big, bearded man standing there.

"Name's Lars...Your neighbor from forty miles away.
Having a party Friday.. . Thought you might like to come.....About 5..."

"Great," says Sam, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you!"

As Lars is leaving, he stops, and adds, "Gotta warn you...There's gonna be some drinkin'."

"Not a problem...after 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of em."

Again, as he starts to leave, Lars stops.

"More'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."

Sam says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."

Once again Lars turns from the door.

"I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too."

"Now that's really not a problem," says Sam, "I've been all alone for six months!
I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I bring?"

Lars stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want...just gonna be the two of us!" :Q

Almost afraid to sign my name here
Bleep
 
HeHe this is the only alaska joke I have ever heard that I could put up here without a complete edit.
Bleep
 
LMAO Bleep, reminds me of this one:

A hippie on a city bus notices a young nun sitting across from him and at once finds himself very attracted to her. He moves to sit with her and after telling her that she is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, he asks her to dinner.

The nun declines, and the hippie proceeds to invite the nun for "perhaps a roll in the hay". The nun, of course, declines the offer and gets off at the next stop.

The hippie, offended and very disappointed, strikes up a conversation with the bus driver. The driver leans over and says to the hippie, "You really want that nun, huh?"

After the hippie nods emphatically and demonstrates his point with several lewd gestures, the driver grins and thinks for a moment.

"Well," he says, "Every Thursday at six PM she takes this bus to the local cemetery, where she prays for about an hour. You two could be alone there..."

The hippie grows excited as he thinks of a plan.

Thursday comes and the hippie waits by the entrance to the cemetery. Sure enough, at six PM he sees the nun enter and he quietly follows her. She stops and kneels by a headstone and clasps her hands in prayer.

The eager hippie opens his knapsack, and puts on his costume---a long flowing white robe and a bearded face mask. He tosses a handful of glitter at the nun and catching her attention, he steps slowly towards her.

"My child" he says in a soft voice, "It is I, your Lord. You have been such a faithful servant to me, I have come to reward you with a satisfying sexual experience."

The nun gasps, "Oh....Well, that is fine, but could you take me from behind? At least that way I could still consider myself a virgin. My vow of celibacy is important to me."

The hippie, eager to get going nods and takes the nun in his arms. He turns her around, bends her over, and performs anal sex until they are both pleasantly worn out.

After they are finished, the hippie pulls off his mask and shouts... "HAHA, I'M THE HIPPIE!!!"

to which the nun responds by taking off her mask and shouting... "HAHA, I'M THE BUS DRIVER!!!"

:Q
 


<< :Q


Wow, didn't see that coming!!!


😀 >>




Me neither, not for either of them! :Q


Thanks for making me laugh!

They'll be saved somewhere for later use! 😉

ConfusedBW
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top