Need your advice and help

[SuperGroove]

Well...I'm pretty p.o'ed right now. Not tired...p.o'ed. I have this little situation with a guy at my school. I'd like to call him my friend...and he is...but I mean he irritates me 80% of the time. He's cool when he's not so...umm...intimate.

I've known the guy since 6th grade, and I'm a senior now. In Junior High he was an acquaintance...and wanted to be my friend oh so bad. I mean, he already was, but he wanted to be my best friend. High School came around, and my buds left school, and I was there, and being the opportunist he is, took upon himself to tell everyone that we were best friends.

Where's the problem? Well, he really wants to impress me by displaying how different he is. Showing off his vast cd collection. All is fine and dandy until he starts buying the same CDs I have. Well that's okay, as long as he sees what good music is, right? Right. Well I gave a flight sim to him, rather sold it to him, because I'm an avid simmer, and aircraft enthusiast. Suddenly, he becomes interested. That's cool...I guess.

I stop attending church, because I am frustrated by how structured it is, and not built around the needs of the individual Christian. Well...so that's okay if he does it too. I'm just paranoid.

Junior year, I head off to start my teenage life over at a new school. I don't know anyone, and I'm loving life. I've made only one enemy, and life is grand. Six Weeks later, he tells me he's coming to my school so that his resume looks good to Notre Dame. Well to get into my school, he's got to lie about where he lives. Not to be a hypocrite, I did the same to get into Lakewood, so that I wouldn't have to go to another school. Well it wasn't really lying, I live on the border of two cities. They know this now.

Fine. Great. I guess. More paranoia. Well how about him being in 2 of 6 classes of mine? Well...great I guess...unless you consider asking the counselors to be in those classes, with the exact professor, and exact hours. We have seating charts...and well...he sticks to one, and ignores the other.

Well there goes my chances of ever talking to a girl. He would counter by saying, "You never talk to girls anyways." Right...I never did because my friends and I at my previous school used to tell each other...no girls would come between us. My how that loves to bite me in the ass.

Did I mention whenever I had to go to the bathroom at my previous school...that he went with me, without having to use the facilities? Humph

Okay, senior year. Pumped up. It's really rare being in the same classes. Right? WRONG. Especially when you change your schedule to be in the same class as someone.

So when I'm not at school, all is well, right? Nope...he stops by when I don't answer the phone. I have caller ID, and sometimes I don't answer the phone when I want to be alone. Well...there he is...asking if I wanna do something. I say, "I don't..." Then my mom and dad come out to say, "Oh hi, SOANDSO, come on in!". Where is the relaxation?

Now I'm getting the people don't mock me by calling me gay...I think they actually think I'm gay. Why? Well he tickles me in public. He touches me to get my attention. I mean...I can listen, and not look at him. But that's just objectionable to him.

I'd tell him to bug off, like the rest of the people who make me mad, or just ignore him. However, he's just persistant. He's probably going to read this one day. He did a search, and now knows my username. He'll probably do a search again, and come to school all hissy fit like. So I'll say some good things.

He's nice, he helps me understand my homework better. He's a reliable person.

I'd tell him to back off, but he's been through multiple divorces, and not many close friends. He's getting popular in school now, but I dunno.

Did I mention he tickles me? Did I mention this is the guy that told me i'm not "that small." after I went to the bathroom. Chose the stall right next to me.

Did I mention he grabbed my thighs on numerous occassions?

Just me...I need help...and I needed to vent. Thanks so much for listening

 

[AlphaIVT]

That is too long so I won't read it

 

[SuperGroove]

When you have a point, you have to back it up with valid reasons.

Paul

 

[Windogg]

I think you guys need a long sitdown chat. Does he have other friends? Is he just as clingy with other people? Does he have any problems at home? He seems to be using you as an escape from larger problems. Perhaps he look at you life as the ideal and wants to live to make up for what he thinks is lacking. Can you provide details without revealing too much?

Windogg

 

[Bulbasaur]

Have you talked to him directly concerning all of the above? If so, what was his response?

 

[lowtech1]

You could politely ask this person to top doing things that make you feel uncomfortable.
If he doesn?t stop then you have to tell him that you can?t hang out with him, because he do thing that make you feel uncomfortable.
If he doesn?t stop and keep calling, then you have ask your parent/counselor to intervene, and tell them the things that he done to you.
If it doesn?t stop then you have to call the police to file a formal complaint.
Last resort is to relocate to a different city & school, after you beat the crap out of him.

 

[Soybomb]

Dont let him touch your who-who-dilly I agree with the others, you're gonna have to sit down and tell him you're uncomfortable with what he's doing. Also when he touches you in public maybe jump back and say hey now, that was too much, and kinda laugh. MAybe he'll think you're kinda kidding with him, but also get the idea that you dont want to ummmm....yeah with him.

 

[Russ]

SuperGroove,

Don't you have parents to discuss this stuff with? An older brother? An Uncle? Someone you actually KNOW?

Russ, NCNE

 

[SuperGroove]

All, thanks for the responses.

Having an brother who is younger than me, doesn't help the situation. Having parents who adore this kid, and pity him because he has been through four divorces doesn't help. Them being 1st generation Korean parents don't help either. They think I'm a wussy, and weird for not wanting a friend like him. They become very furious at the though that I'm disgusted sometimes by him. Uncles, cousins(only real help), friends, they all tell me to tell him to back off.

I've told him to back off every year. EVERY MONTH. It gets stronger every year. I mean, I know that I am an escape from his life, he tells me this. It's nice to know I am one...but it sucks because I can't live my life the way I want to.

his response,

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't get so close, I feel so stupid now...you should've told me a long time ago."

It's the same thing everytime.

Edit: From my first post, I give yolu the impression I've never told him off. That's not true. I have, just not as harsh as I want to. I just let him down subtly.

 

[perry]

Everytime he tickles you, punch him in the arm. He'll either end up bruised, or get the picture rather quickly. If he follows you into the bathroom again, walk into a locked stall. Hook up him with a girl that you aren't interested in any more. Maybe he'll be a little more distracted and not bother you so much.

Go talk to a guidance counseler about the situation. He/she may be able to give you some real advice, instead of the tounge in cheek advice we give here

 

[Chef0083]

Hitting in the arm is a pretty good idea. I can't believe a guy who is your "friend" would disreguard your feelings on the issue. That will remind him that you don't approve of that kind of behavior. You should reconsider talking to your parents about this too. If you do be sure to tell them excactly what he is doing that bothers you,, be graphic about it!! They need to understand this is a PROBLEM and you are their son and they should support you! Show them your not a wussy!

Hope that helps...

 

[syber321]

Okay, let's see the facts here... This guy's been divorced four times...he touches your thighs....he tickles you....he goes into the bathroom when you go....follows you around everywhere...and he looked at your piece. Sounds to me like this guy is gay.. He's probably always repressed it inside, but he seems to like like you. I guess you really need to tell him that you're not into that sort of stuff, no matter how much he would want it. If nothing else works, label him a stalker and get a restraining order or something. Sometimes, things can get a little bit too far...

 

[Pretender]

Uh, he hasn't been divorced, his parents were (I hope...). It sounds like this guy is probably hanging out with you because he doesn't feel he can trust anyone else, seeing as how his parents were divorced so many times and he probably resents that. If you are his only friend, he's probably too scared to find other friends or doesn't trust anyone but you, since you've known him for 6 years.

If it were me, I would've probably asked tried to make excuses of why he can't hang out with me sometimes (make up appointments/places to go), and hope that he finds other people to chill with so that you wouldn't have to deal with him all the time. If he didn't get the hint, I'd probably just ask him straight out about it. Although after this long it might be too late to try to change things without seriously hurting his feelings.

Or, maybe he's gay and very attracted to you, in which case I would suggest either a) gaining 100 pounds, b) telling him thanks, but no thanks, c) run away and change your name.

 

[Croton]

supergroove
just hook up with him and then everything will be fine.
j/k

seriously, you have to tell him straight out, no holds barred, that he annoys the sh!t outta you...

 

[Robert01]

He's gay.