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Need suggestion for dealing with office politics

A

Artista

Senior member
I have a situation at my organization that has become somewhat ugly. I have been in this current position for approx six months, with this branch of the organization for three years and in total with them for seven. I am generally considered a upper middle of the pack team player type, front line professional employee.

I have a, lets call her "team leader" that has been riding me since I got in this position. One minute she will get on me then turn around and act like we are best buds.

She has been running to my boss and trying to get me in trouble because basically she is a total control freak and I wont submit to her control. I ask her to just deal with work issues and what needs to get done. Yet she always reverts back to trying to control me and put me down with snippy, unprofessional remarks.

She has been inappropriate at times and to the point of violating the organization policy on harassment of various nature. In fact so much so I could probably make a big issue of it and if not get her fired at least suspended or written up.

It came to a head recently and I told her I was going to go to HR about her. She of course told my boss and he came to talk with me. He said he prefers to handle it between him and her boss getting together and squashing it at the first level but he will support me with whatever my decision is.

He also explained that me going the HR way is like setting off a small nuclear device at close range and it will really mushroom out of control. I of course will not be in trouble but there will be a investigation and the final decision will then be with HR and upper management.

I hate trouble and drama as it really gets on my nerves and I just want this to go away yet want to make sure this doesn't happen again or have her try to retaliate. If I make it official to HR and she tries to retaliate she will get burned. Also I can move to another position if I want in any case but I like what I do. (It would be easier to move me instead of her because of skill set but I could make waves and get her moved if she didn't get canned.)

I am torn as to what to do and how to manage the fall out. She may not be my sworn enemy yet and things could be salvaged yet I am not sure I want that. Surely if I went the HR route she would hate me yet she brought it on herself.

Anyone work for large or medium size organizations and have gone through something like this? Any advice from those that work at a medium or large organization?
 
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I have none of your problems, but it sounds like we work for companies that handle it in a similar manner.

I would always go to my manager first. Assuming you are comfortable enough with them. If that didn't work, I would go to HR, and let them investigate it.
 
I had a similar problem years ago. On the advice of a union rep, I authored an email to this problem person stating something like:

"On this date you said/did "..." to me, on this date you said/did "...", etc... I would appreciate if in the future you could deal with me in a more professional manner that fosters a better team environment, blah blah etc....

If things do not improve in the future I will be forwarding this email to HR and "your boss's name". I look forward to working with you in the future.

Thanks,"

That way you have documentation (the sent email) of not only what happened, but that you tried to handle the situation yourself. Worked for me. The person I had a problem with immediately called me into their office, apologized, and was the damned nicest person you ever met with me after that.
 
It sounds to me like you need to chat with your boss first, get him to stand up for you and tell her that you work for him, not her, and she should get her own report to stomp on. If he won't do that, then he's not a very good boss and you should tell him you'll consider a change if he doesn't fix this issue.
 
Artista said:
It came to a head recently and I told her I was going to go to HR about her. She of course told my boss and he came to talk with me. He said he prefers to handle it between him and her boss getting together and squashing it at the first level but he will support me with whatever my decision is.
Click to expand...

It looks like you backed yourself into a corner here.

If you don't bump it up to HR she considers it a win for her and you look like a chicken shit.

If you do go to HR it looks like your boss will be offended. As he said in so many words.

You lose either way.

IMO your boss has already had a shot to make this right, Go to HR and let them do what they are paid to do.
 
Artista said:
It came to a head recently and I told her I was going to go to HR about her. She of course told my boss and he came to talk with me. He said he prefers to handle it between him and her boss getting together and squashing it at the first level but he will support me with whatever my decision is.
Click to expand...

It sounds like you have good boss. Telling you his preference but supporting you with what you chose is about as good as you could ask for. Personally, I would go to him and ask for him to handle it at his level but let him know that you'd like to reserve the right to involve HR if things don't improve. I think he'd probably agree that it would ok to escalate it to HR if he can't smooth out the situation.
 
Kill the bitch...hide her body in the bottom of the elevator shaft...or behind the coffee cabinet...someplace that no one ever cleans. 😛
 
First document everything - every minute you spend at work, everyone you speak with, every meeting, any size.

Second circle your wagons. Who owes you? Who have you done favors for? Who will suffer if your personal work suffers? Whose dirty secrets do you know? Whose customers/clients do you control?

Third, what do you know about her vulnerabilities and strengths?

Fourth, compare two and three. Do you have enough power to defuse her? If yes, do so with a show of strength. If no, quietly continue gathering power.

HR is just another weapon. Like all office weapons, their power is in the threat, not the usage.

Good luck.

(semi-retired CEO)
 
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TL😀R there's a simple solution to office politics - just don't get involved.

No I haven't read the OP and no I'm not going to.
 
Not to be an ass, but your complaint seems to be "It's ALL HER and NONE ME." In these situations, I've often found that both sides are at fault, but you're not admitting something you're doing.

Just something I've seen from experience.
 
the advice to document everything is very good. Also, start a solid paper trail. Emails are great for keeping track of conversations and documenting responses. After i get off the phone from a couple of people i don't trust an inch, i send them an email: "just to make sure that i'm on the right track, this (......) is what you want me to do, by this (....) date?" Once a job is completed, I also send them a quick email, letting them know it's down. This covers your butt and the other person always has the chance of responding; if they don't and call you on it in the future, you refer to the email and say: if you had an issue with it, why didn't you respond?"

it's much harder, but consider starting a log book. Get a nice solid spiral bound notebook, and start logging everything you do. The time you get into work, phone calls, conversations, everything. Number the pages and never never skip a page or tear it out. This has saved me a couple times, plus after awhile the word gets out. I've even had people call me wanting a copy of the notes i took from certain meetings; be professional, don't embellish, and be thorough. Yep it takes time, but once they know you log everything, that changes how people interact with you. The decent ones don't mind it all; the obnoxious ones soon start leaving you alone.
 
Mike Gayner said:
TL😀R there's a simple solution to office politics - just don't get involved.

No I haven't read the OP and no I'm not going to.
Click to expand...

Yet another worthy post from Mini Gayner.

As others have said, you should document as much as you can. As pcgeek11 said you may have forced your own hand though by threatening to go to HR. You could first try to work it out with your immediate boss, but should now probably keep HR apprised of things in case you do need to move up the chain.
 
princess ida said:
First document everything - every minute you spend at work, everyone you speak with, every meeting, any size.

Second circle your wagons. Who owes you? Who have you done favors for? Who will suffer if your personal work suffers? Whose dirty secrets do you know? Whose customers/clients do you control?

Third, what do you know about her vulnerabilities and strengths?

Fourth, compare two and three. Do you have enough power to defuse her? If yes, do so with a show of strength. If no, quietly continue gathering power.

HR is just another weapon. Like all office weapons, their power is in the threat, not the usage.

Good luck.

(semi-retired CEO)
Click to expand...
Dayum...I like this approach.
 
Been there .......

Go to HR and ask for advice - they will review your work history, look at your annual reviews, and you will rise above the nuclear showdown that will surely happen once you open the HR door.

just don't pull this shit often - once every 5yrs or so is fine.
 
Lalakai said:
the advice to document everything is very good. Also, start a solid paper trail. Emails are great for keeping track of conversations and documenting responses. After i get off the phone from a couple of people i don't trust an inch, i send them an email: "just to make sure that i'm on the right track, this (......) is what you want me to do, by this (....) date?" Once a job is completed, I also send them a quick email, letting them know it's down. This covers your butt and the other person always has the chance of responding; if they don't and call you on it in the future, you refer to the email and say: if you had an issue with it, why didn't you respond?"

it's much harder, but consider starting a log book. Get a nice solid spiral bound notebook, and start logging everything you do. The time you get into work, phone calls, conversations, everything. Number the pages and never never skip a page or tear it out. This has saved me a couple times, plus after awhile the word gets out. I've even had people call me wanting a copy of the notes i took from certain meetings; be professional, don't embellish, and be thorough. Yep it takes time, but once they know you log everything, that changes how people interact with you. The decent ones don't mind it all; the obnoxious ones soon start leaving you alone.
Click to expand...

This is an odd approach. I think if I felt this insecure in my job I would be looking for another job.

This brings way too much paranoia into the game and make others wonder WTF you are up to. I know I wouldn't trust you.
 
Bignate603 said:
It sounds like you have good boss. Telling you his preference but supporting you with what you chose is about as good as you could ask for. Personally, I would go to him and ask for him to handle it at his level but let him know that you'd like to reserve the right to involve HR if things don't improve. I think he'd probably agree that it would ok to escalate it to HR if he can't smooth out the situation.
Click to expand...

This!

And being the one who is seen as willing to work through workplace issues like this (even if you really aren't) is smart. As is documenting inappropriate interactions.
 
Maybe the possibility that said woman wants to have relations of the sexual kind with you, or the bitch is just crazy.
 
I had something like that happen at my last job. They talked me out of going to HR and to "keep things in house". End result was I was moved to another team and the person that went nuts on me kept his position even though there was a witness that backed me up.

Keeping it in house is code for we like the other person better than you.
If you don't go to HR make sure EVERYTHING is in writing or recorded. If they will not agree to that then go to HR.

<-- Works HR now. 😉
 
HR is the devil. They usually take the first story they're given and they run with it. Total fail. Once in awhile, you'll get the one great HR person who'll do research instead of being lazy.

That usually never happens though...
 
A lot of great advice here. I am grateful.

First of all just to be clear this person did clear EEO violations and harassment against me and there were witnesses. (Who knows what they would say in a investigation.) I did nothing wrong in this scenario and broke no rules what so ever. She just got mad when I laid down clear boundaries of what I would tolerate and what I would not.

Seems another coworker (This coworker is a friend of the woman trying to get me.) went to our mutual boss (not the lady trying to get me) to help "mediate" or at least that is what she told me. She told me she went to tell our mutual boss that she thinks it is a communication style difference and that I come from a very independent job into a desk job. I assume she is being honest because she didn't have to come to me and tell me she went to the boss. Plus she told me what the woman trying to get me said and did.

I talked with my boss today and he said to not respond to anything in writing to this crazy woman just to respond "will call you" and call her back. That way it will stop these email storms this lady does that escalate out of control. He also said that there at this point doesn't need to be a meeting of me and the woman and our two bosses as of yet and just to try and lay low.

The woman trying to get me is now using Microsoft outlook to ask for "receipts" for email she sends me when she ask me to do something. In other words she may be trying to build a case against me.

Seems I may have to get in the first strike as sometimes that is what determines who comes out on top. If I do I am thinking to go through my boss and submit the paperwork through him up the chain of command, to HR, so I do not step on any toes of management along the way.

Then anything she tries to get me with after that will be considered "retaliation" and that itself is a major offense if proven.

I do like what one writer wrote here in the thread who said it is the "threat" of using things that work so well and that is true. Maybe I will have a "heart to heart" with the person trying to get me and run the outcome by her (her getting the worse end of the deal and it being bad for both of us.) and just ask her to chill (a truce), including not to try and build a case against me, otherwise I take what I have documented and not only go to HR with it but EEOC.

By the way the woman had one EEO complaint against her prior and was documented and substantiated from what I hear. (from the person that made the EEO complaint.)

So if the threat does not work (and she keeps at me and trying to build a case on me) you guys think sending the complaint up the chain and to HR (possible EEO also) through my boss is the best route? (So I do not step on management toes.)

I want to move up the chain myself and have a career. So the less stink the better.

Edit: plus we have a union so if action was taken they would step in but since we are both
non-management the union doesn't get involved unless action is taken by the organization against who ever loses the battle.

I HATE drama.
 
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