Need some SERIOUS ADVICE!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm i looked quick but didnt see a mention of talking to the girls real parents, where the hell are they?

 

[Ludacris]

She only has a mother. Her dad left before she was born. Her mother will find out Friday and she probably will have a stroke. We found out first because she felt more comfortaable talking to her older sister.

 

[Ludacris]

Here is some additional information for you guys:

Well, she works at Bill Miller's BBQ, she is in 11th Grade, and she has no way to support this baby at all. She can't afford daycare. Her mom is a single parent just barely getting by.

The guy has been arrested before for selling drugs. Apparently she feels that he has been unfaithful to her, but can't prove it. He has no job.

 

[alkemyst]

according to TX law it seems there was no crime .... it's going to be hard to prove penetration before she was 17...and then you risk dragging her through the mud. What happens a lot of times is the parents get their kid 'labelled'. It's usually a consensual situation, yet the parents are hoping their 'baby' was just a victim. It's a hard deal to bear.

Fact is unless the girl totally admits she was forced into sex the court is not usually going to judge rape in a case like this. If she was 12 or 13 and said she asked him to do it, then yeah they would probably say he was guilty, but being 17years old even if she just turned it.....that's going to be a hard case to take to court in probably any state.

There is alot going on in this situation, the most important is the daughter/sister/whatever she is to you if this is 'hypothetically' speaking and her baby.

Many first pregnacies self terminate by 12 weeks so perhaps that may happen.....

The most important part of this will be not damaging your relationship with her. You start slamming a guy she can possibally end up marrying and you can set the stage for a stressed future relationship. This happens a lot....what happens next is kid turns 18 and takes off or just disappears until they are 18 which is easy to do.

You don't want to tell her she is too young, or a baby, or unfit as that will just get her to defy you. And in reality it's too late anyway.

I would think it out and have someone that has kids explain to her what it's going to take, also what a marriage is about. Possibly also the difficulties of marrying a foreigner.....it's not automatic that a green card is awarded for marriage or pregnancy, esp now post-9/11.

The big thing is to remain calm and don't let emotions enter this.....a third party mediator may be a good choice.

My ex-wife's sister (also a christian school girl and a virgin at the time) met a 40 year old biker supposed felon one day at the beach...he was a sort of good looking, rugged guy....had a little dirtyness to him, but easy to see what a 16 year old would find attractive. They started having sex and got caught one day...the parents told him the police were called....she got on his bike and they weren't seen for quite a few years.....she didn't start talking to her family until she was past 18....last I heard she was still with the guy (I am not sure what is status is now, but he mentioned he was wanted for something he couldn't talk about at the time) and has 2 kids now......she is about 26 or so now.

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[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: Ludacris
Here is some additional information for you guys:

Well, she works at Bill Miller's BBQ, she is in 11th Grade, and she has no way to support this baby at all. She can't afford daycare. Her mom is a single parent just barely getting by.

The guy has been arrested before for selling drugs. Apparently she feels that he has been unfaithful to her, but can't prove it. He has no job.

Is he illegal? If so his arrest for drug would have gotten him deported. What are the facts here?

I would not use she can't support the baby as a point...all that takes is to call welfare ... there are a lot of 'poor' mothers out there doing it.

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[rudder]

Originally posted by: Ludacris
Here is some additional information for you guys:

Well, she works at Bill Miller's BBQ, she is in 11th Grade, and she has no way to support this baby at all. She can't afford daycare. Her mom is a single parent just barely getting by.

The guy has been arrested before for selling drugs. Apparently she feels that he has been unfaithful to her, but can't prove it. He has no job.

I would suggest she also goto the local clinic and get tested fot STD's.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: rudder

I would suggest she also goto the local clinic and get tested fot STD's.

why does everyone bring up getting tested for STD's? If you have no reason to think the other person gave them to you it's a waste of time usually. Also which STD's do you get tested for? That's what I usually ask when people make claims like "I get tested everytime"

Get your yearly HIV test and be done with it. Technically getting tested usually only helps others. If you have something (HPV aside) chances are it will let you know sooner or later

If you are not frequenting prostitutes or simply screwing everyone in sight catching an STD is semi-difficult even if you have slept with someone with one.

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