OK, I'll keep this short and sweet as possible and hope I'm not starting a huge arguement here......
My wife and I split up in Late June of '05. She just started acting weird so I came out and asked her point blank what the problem was. She told me she was just not happy and wanted a divorce. She was running around with all new friends from work and I figured this was part of it. It was also partially my fault I think, I was going through my own problems and was a bear to be around and didn't want to go out much.
The news about a divorce though floored me. All my talking, suggessting counceling, nothing worked, she was positive she wanted a divorce. It didn't make sense so I did a little digging and much to my dismay, found direct evidence of another guy. (phone numbers, address, etc.) I confronted her with this, she denied it, so I said "I guess you won't mind me calling then" and proceeded to do so. She got hysterical and took off. I bitched the guy out but he did confirm it. I moved out with our 3 kids.
She continued seeing him a lot, and after awhile, since she was, I started seeing someone also. That immeadiately set her off! She soon decided she was wrong and wanted to get back together and see a councelor. We did and voiced our concerns about each other. It was both of our faults and we tried to address those things.
One of the main things the councelor said, and I had said and already done for my part was: we both had to cut all ties with the people we saw while split up. I had no problems with this as I love my wife and always have. Seeing someone else was pretty much reactionary to her doing it. We both agreed.
A few weeks go by and I find her talking to "Dan". I get pretty upset but she assures me she will end it. I say OK and we go on. We are actually getting along really well, talking and everything and going places again. A few weeks later.....I catch her again! She says they never did ANYTHING and he is just a friend. She even says she thinks he might be gay. I tell her it didn't matter, I couldn't deal with her talking to/seeing him. She says she is sorry and it won't happen again.
Well, to make a long story short, they continue to talk behind my back, and even went out to dinner once. She can't understand why I am so upset because she maintains they never did anything and he is just a friend.
This last weekend it happened again. I caught her talking to him and finally decided I HAD to put an end to it. I got pretty upset and she said she "had to leave" to go think and she was going to her girlfriends house to talk to her. I then find out she immeadiately left, called him, and went to his house!
I am now telling her that this will end now, or I am gone for good and will get the divorce. She can not understand why I would let this "friend" come between us or make me do this and thinks I am being irrational. I have told her that unless she calls with me present, or we go see him and she tells him, I will leave ASAP.
Help me...........AM I being unreasonable? I have not/do not talk to the person I saw and think this is the way it should be............
My wife and I split up in Late June of '05. She just started acting weird so I came out and asked her point blank what the problem was. She told me she was just not happy and wanted a divorce. She was running around with all new friends from work and I figured this was part of it. It was also partially my fault I think, I was going through my own problems and was a bear to be around and didn't want to go out much.
The news about a divorce though floored me. All my talking, suggessting counceling, nothing worked, she was positive she wanted a divorce. It didn't make sense so I did a little digging and much to my dismay, found direct evidence of another guy. (phone numbers, address, etc.) I confronted her with this, she denied it, so I said "I guess you won't mind me calling then" and proceeded to do so. She got hysterical and took off. I bitched the guy out but he did confirm it. I moved out with our 3 kids.
She continued seeing him a lot, and after awhile, since she was, I started seeing someone also. That immeadiately set her off! She soon decided she was wrong and wanted to get back together and see a councelor. We did and voiced our concerns about each other. It was both of our faults and we tried to address those things.
One of the main things the councelor said, and I had said and already done for my part was: we both had to cut all ties with the people we saw while split up. I had no problems with this as I love my wife and always have. Seeing someone else was pretty much reactionary to her doing it. We both agreed.
A few weeks go by and I find her talking to "Dan". I get pretty upset but she assures me she will end it. I say OK and we go on. We are actually getting along really well, talking and everything and going places again. A few weeks later.....I catch her again! She says they never did ANYTHING and he is just a friend. She even says she thinks he might be gay. I tell her it didn't matter, I couldn't deal with her talking to/seeing him. She says she is sorry and it won't happen again.
Well, to make a long story short, they continue to talk behind my back, and even went out to dinner once. She can't understand why I am so upset because she maintains they never did anything and he is just a friend.
This last weekend it happened again. I caught her talking to him and finally decided I HAD to put an end to it. I got pretty upset and she said she "had to leave" to go think and she was going to her girlfriends house to talk to her. I then find out she immeadiately left, called him, and went to his house!
I am now telling her that this will end now, or I am gone for good and will get the divorce. She can not understand why I would let this "friend" come between us or make me do this and thinks I am being irrational. I have told her that unless she calls with me present, or we go see him and she tells him, I will leave ASAP.
Help me...........AM I being unreasonable? I have not/do not talk to the person I saw and think this is the way it should be............
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