a girl who likes video games AND she's your girlfriend? talk about double goodness 8)
hmm, perhaps if you try stressing the cpu for a while, maybe encoding divx or something because my notebook has a desktop version 1.6GHz and encoding mp3's doesn't stress near the max of cpu usage, so far the only thing i've seen that would do something is encoding divx or possibly proggy's like @home or whatever those are called, dang it my mind went blank, GRRR
Edit: doh, forgot, yes, the cpu should be throttling, that is a good thing, and chances are she's running xp which i think has intel speedstep technology integrated natively into the OS, so the settings would probably be minimum as OEM's see it as unnecessary settings to support
laptops get hot no matter what you do, and i mean "uncomfortably" hot, i haven't seen one that i can't leave on my lap the whole time i'm using it and feel comfy
as for the fan, a possibility is that it's software controlled, the old compaq we had sometimes didn't run it's fan and the oddest of times, may ro may not be related. anyways i think i remember reading somewhere as a way to save battery the fans are controlled to slow down or stop when there not necessary i guess