Need Help... depressed.

lyric

Senior member
May 6, 2001
302
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My parents and my two older brothers left for vacation to Thailand and Japan for a week and a half. (I'm 16) I'm currently home with my grandma and my uncle comes home at night to stay with us so that we can have a man in the house to take care of whatever situations that may come up. Ever since my family's left, my grandmother has constantly been nagging at me. She'll say something like I sit down too much and I'm not active enough... And when I do get up to do something, she'll yell at me for not doing my homework.. And of course, I have to sit down for that.. So she just doesn't make any sense. And yesterday, I told her I had to go over to a friend's house to work on a school project, and she immediately said no, without listening to any of my reasoning. I'm pretty much under house arrest right now... My family called me from Thailand tonight and I talked to my brother about it.. He said it's probably because she doesn't wanna take responsibility if something happens to me.. Anyway, my best friend came from NY to handle some college stuff and he asked if he could spend a couple of nights and my place, since his parents were gonna drive down to LA to visit their friend. I asked my parents about it and they agreed. I told them he would probably come by Thursday (tomorrow) and he'll spend like 3 or 4 nights here.. So just tonight, I told my grandma that he'll probably come by tomorrow and she was like "Your mom told me he wasn't coming till Tuesday". I never said Tuesday.. I said Thursday. When my parents called, she told them all this false stuff like I lied about his arrival date and what not and also I keep on asking to go out.. Okay, so I asked to go to my friend's birthday party... I asked if I could spend the night over there on Friday, but since she said no, I compromised and told her I wouldn't come home late. So my parents started to get angry at me and my mom started announcing to my brothers and practically the whole world what was going on... And I really didn't want that to happen.. I wanted my mom to keep it in the downlow, and I even told her to.. But I guess she just ignored it. There are a bunch of relatives and friends with them too. I think this whole thing is because a guy is coming over.. The thing is... I should be allowed to have guy friends now, shouldn't I? And plus, it's not like I'm gonna go and do anything stupid like screw him or something. I know what's right and what's wrong. We really wouldn't do anything except sit and watch tv and talk.. Is that a crime?

It seems like everyone's on my case.. And right now, I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. If I were to go out, I wouldn't come home late and I wouldn't go out and do anything stupid like drink or do drugs.. I would let them know where I am and I would leave a number for them to reach me at.. And like I said, yeah, I'll be with a guy, but I'm not gonna do anything with him.. And if he laid a single hand on me which I didn't approve, I would let someone know. I'm not that immature..

I tried looking at things from her point of view and I can see where she's coming from, but still.. This doesn't make any sense.. I just can't take it anymore.. I can't handle getting yelled at by everyone (I'm sure I'll get yelled at by my parents and my brothers once I get back). I just want to run away...

If my grandma says something to them which I end up getting yelled at for something I didn't do wrong.. I should will just tell them that they have no reason to get angry at me.. and if they do get angry, they can.. But like I said, I didn't do anything wrong. I'm afraid that I'll end up chickening out.

Guys and gals.. I need your help here.. What should I do?

EDIT: Sorry guys if it's confusing..
 

amnesiac

Lifer
Oct 13, 1999
15,781
1
71
Well to be honest you are 16 and still living under your parents roof, therefore you do have to live by their rules.

But it seems that your family has major communication issues.. I think you should talk to your mom and grandmother about what's going on and get things sorted out.

If your parents/grandmother insist on being unreasonable, rebel. Come home late and get in trouble and stuff. :D j/k
 

Nitemare

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
35,461
4
81
Think you are pretty much screwed...sounds like you grandma is from the old school in parenting...combine that with her being Asian...and you are totally shafted.

Really not much you could do to impress her probably, just have patience until your parents get home.

If it is any consolation, I couldn't stay over or have the opposite sex stay over when I was your age...course I was a slut though
 

TripleJ

Platinum Member
Apr 29, 2001
2,667
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Hmm, I think you need to set some of your own ground rules for a change. You sound like a reasonable person, so a little reasoning will always get somewhere. You might need to be a little more forceful than usual. If you express what you are feeling, even just a little bit, you will be suprised at what may result. My parents always go all sympathetic. That's what I'd do.
 

luckydragon

Golden Member
Oct 12, 1999
1,764
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well i would say talk to your parents some more, running away wont solve your problems... it'll probably cause even more... they just care about you alot and dont want you to get harmed sometiems they dont express it that well i guess. good luck
 

Nitemare

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
35,461
4
81


<< well i would say talk to your parents some more, running away wont solve your problems... it'll probably cause even more... they just care about you alot and dont want you to get harmed sometiems they dont express it that well i guess. good luck >>



Yeah...just hang in there, all you have is two more years then you get to go away to college and you are Free, free at last, Thank God you are free at last.....
 

Renob

Diamond Member
Jun 18, 2000
7,596
1
81
I think you should Piledrive you grandma, and when your uncle comes home Bitch slap him and then do what ever you want..
I hope this helps.:D
 

lyric

Senior member
May 6, 2001
302
0
0


<< If it is any consolation, I couldn't stay over or have the opposite sex stay over when I was your age...course I was a slut though >>


Yes, a guy is staying over, but we're not sleeping in the same room.. Doors will be opened in every room we're in together.



<< Hmm, I think you need to set some of your own ground rules for a change. You sound like a reasonable person, so a little reasoning will always get somewhere. You might need to be a little more forceful than usual. If you express what you are feeling, even just a little bit, you will be suprised at what may result. My parents always go all sympathetic. That's what I'd do.

<<
I would try to set my own ground rules, but one of my problems is that I don't have much of a spine.. People usually complain that I'm too nice and I let people control me too much.. I always let them slide or I always will take the fault when I'm really not at fault.. I give in too easily..



<< Well to be honest you are 16 and still living under your parents roof, therefore you do have to live by their rules.

<<
I understand I'm 16 and still a minor, but I'm not asking for much.. I'm not asking to stay out all night.. and when I did, I was willing to compromise. I haven't done anything that got me in trouble with the law.

I'm not saying I'm the one that's right here.. Like I said, I've looked at it at their point of view too.. But I don't think they were like this until my grandma started saying these things to them. My grandma has always had a tendency at nagging at me.. Even when I'm sitting down, doing my work, she'll somehow find something to nag at me about.

I also just want to be able to spend some time with friends.. I don't usually go out.. Maybe once a month or something with my friends.. Maybe less.. I'm usually out with my brothers. My parents usually complain to me about how I don't go out enough and stuff... Now it's opposite.


 

lyric

Senior member
May 6, 2001
302
0
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<< i bet grandma goes to sleep early....learn to climb through some windows >>



Nope, I'm not that lucky.. She doesn't go to bed early... And I can't even climb out windows.. The only window I have in my room connects me to my backyard.. Those who live in SF will understand how it's like. And even if I could climb out, I wouldn't risk it...

You know what else? After dinner, when there's not much to do, I usually try to go to bed. When I do that, she gets angry at me (about two hours after dinner), saying that I just finished dinner and it's too soon for me to go to bed when it's around like 11PM.. I have school early the next morning.
 

chiwawa626

Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
12,013
0
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dude that sucks 4 u :(..eh my grandma is so bored at home, she wont even watch tv... weird..she just sits there...
 

TripleJ

Platinum Member
Apr 29, 2001
2,667
0
0
I haven't got much of a spine either, I like to avoid conflict. But when I feel that something is quite unfair I wont give in. If all else fails, I just ignore them and go on my merry way.

How old do you need to be until you can technically do what you like? 16 here. Not that that made a difference. I'm a principle person to the bone, laws come a distant 2nd.
 

lyric

Senior member
May 6, 2001
302
0
0


<< one word: counterstrike

-Chubbz!
>>



I don't really wanna counterstrike.. That will just cause more problems.. For a while, I was thinking I should just tell my friend to go down to LA with his parents... but I thought again.. I shouldn't say that when I'm not doing anything wrong.. I'm being responsible here.. I'm not sleeping in the same room as him and I'm not doing anything else besides talking and watching tv and what not.. Like I said, I'm not gonna go and screw him or anything. So is just being friends with a guy wrong...?
 

Vincent

Platinum Member
Oct 9, 1999
2,030
2
81
Your grandma is probably just feeling lonely and useless. So she tells you what to do and orders you around in order to feel like she's contributing to your family. You should try to do something fun with her that you'll both enjoy and which will make her feel like she's taking care of you. Maybe you can have her show you how to cook something. By ordering you around she's probably trying to show you affection because she wants to make sure you have a bright future.