Need an excuse for missing a test...

[NuclearFusi0n]

I'm thinking "My cat gave birth!" or "My cat died!" or I can sorta dress myself up to look like crap on Monday and go in after snorting a line of pepper and sneaze my ass off, to fake looking sick. Hell, if i could do it I would infect myself with the common cold.

i'm depsperate; plz help. btw i dont have cat.

 

[Orsorum]

Someone slept through a midterm.

 

[ThaPerculator]

explosive diarrhea c/o the all-you-can-eat chinese buffet and food poisoning. the more ridiculous/embarrasing your story is, the more likely it will fly.

 

[NuclearFusi0n]

Originally posted by: ThaPerculator
explosive diarrhea c/o the all-you-can-eat chinese buffet and food poisoning. the more ridiculous/embarrasing your story is, the more likely it will fly.

I've tried Hemorroids before, that got a request for documentation. I am, however, willing to embarrass myself as much as needed, so keep throwing suggestions out!

 

[NuclearFusi0n]

Originally posted by: Orsorum
Someone slept through a midterm.

That usually gets a "tough luck" as opposed to "come in monday for the makeup"

 

[LordThing]

Lets use one of my helpdesk guy's recent excueses for not showing up (all true):

"No washer fluid"
"Skylight leaking"
"Tires too bald to drive in drizel rain"
"Kicked a tree and hurt ankle"
"Weird Growth on his back"
"Cat Died, need to burry it"

Those are just a few used in the last 3 months

 

[Ticks]

i skipped class yesterday because i was hungry.

 

[NuclearFusi0n]

Anything that requires documentation is a no go! I'm thinking the whole dead cat thing would work well. If he asks for proof, I'll just say "dig it up yourself"

 

[Ogg]

Man you cant skip class/test because your fvcking cat died!!
Explosive diarrhea will work everytime without a note. They wont want to touch it.

 

[Savij]

I've had good results with going to the professor ASAP, and saying "I'm soooo sorry! I slept through the exam. Please, for the love of god and all things merciful, let me make it up." It usually helps if it's the same day as the exam and you look like you just woke up and ran to the professor's office.

This only works once per professor.

-ss

 

[Ryan]

Anal leakage from eating too many chips containing Olestra.

 

[MrDingleDangle]

Originally posted by: Savij
I've had good results with going to the professor ASAP, and saying "I'm soooo sorry! I slept through the exam. Please, for the love of god and all things merciful, let me make it up." It usually helps if it's the same day as the exam and you look like you just woke up and ran to the professor's office.

This only works once per professor.

-ss

 

[MrDingleDangle]

btw...why did u miss the test?

 

[Ogg]

Originally posted by: rbloedow
Anal leakage from eating too many chips containing Olestra.

Nice:disgust:

 

[damiano]

the one that always worked for me is
"i am sorry I missed the test for personal reasons that I would rather not disclose..."
the teacher will actually feel bad for you thinking soething bad happened to you
believe me, leaving it to their imagination works everytime

 

[amnesiac]

How about you own up and tell the professor the truth? I've overslept for a couple tests before and the professors usually grimaced and said I could re-take it with a penalty.

 

[shopbruin]

don't you go to UCR?

doesn't class start, uh, in over a week?

 

[dxkj]

If you tell him something was exploding out of your body (zomit, poop, blood) usually they will let you retake it

 

[CommCR]

this one always works: My Car Broke Down...boo whoo

 

[lukatmyshu]

I have a friend who misses midterms so often, he has a file of excuses he keeps. He just changes the professors name and sends off the same form letter and always gets excused. In fact they usually say 'we'll count your final for double' which is great 'cuz you can basically ignore the entire first part of the course (unless your final is culmative)

 

[Apathetic]

Well, you could throw yourself in front of a car...

Dave

 

[imported_Tomato]

It was the first day of your period, and you were having REALLY BAD CRAMPS.

 

[MacBaine]

Go eat some undercooked meat, get food poisoning, and show up in class throwing up.

 

[rgwalt]

Originally posted by: damiano
the one that always worked for me is
"i am sorry I missed the test for personal reasons that I would rather not disclose..."
the teacher will actually feel bad for you thinking soething bad happened to you

This will sound terrible, but bandage up both your wrists before going in to talk to the prof.

Ryan

 

[MrColin]

1. Drop the class.

2. Find out if the professor took attendance that day before the test. Then when you don't receive a grade or graded test back ask him where it is as if you've taken it and they lost it. This works best in a large class where the professor has grad students do the grading. You have to be a good liar but you will get a better deal than throwing yourself at his mercy with a dumb excuse.