Need advice on a roomate issue

Geekbabe

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Oct 16, 1999
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My housemate and I spilt groceries,she has 2 finicky kids ages 9 and 3,I have one adult male SO and one 16 yr old son,until recently I myself ate very little at home.

When it's my week to buy food the tab ranges between $160-$200, this includes fresh veggies,fruit,whole grain breads,boneless chicken breast,turkey tips,the local meat market is excellent and frequently I buy enough meat that it lasts into my roomate's food buying week.

when it's my roomate's week to buy groceries the fridge is frequently empty.Her week to buy food began on Friday,today is tuesday I made chicken soup and mushroom chicken out of the last of the meat I bought on my week.In the morning I'll eat cereal that was purchased on my week.

As far as I can see this week she bought milk,juice,soda,white bread and premade meatballs,she says she'll go out in the morning to "get a few things to tide us over till Friday" of course come friday I'll drop a couple hundred in the fridge.

She says things about how she doesn't want junk food in the house,how she wants to follow a lean diet like ours,then she says we never buy anything that her kids like to eat.So on her week they eat out every night,leaving us with nothing.I need a new system !

The sad thing is that she's basically a good person but has been under tremendous stress.I need to find a fairer,more equitable manner to deal with the food issue that doesn't result in hard feelings.I also wish to avoid situations in which children are afraid to take food when they are hungry.

I'm considering offering to spilt the bill for milk,juice,soda,bread,cheese,produce and cat food from a fixed list that we write together.Then we'd each be responsible for buying,preparing our individual family's meal/snack food.

Any ideas? you guys do the roomate thing a lot around here and I could use some advice.Also how should our current arrangement end,on who's week?
 

zixxer

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Jul 6, 2001
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your dumb to do groceries that way. split 50/50.

edit:
OR, buy two fridges.
 

KarenMarie

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Sep 20, 2003
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Why do you take turns like that? why not just get a packet of post it notes, stick your name on everything that is yours and let her and her family fend for themselves?

edit: tell her the new rule is that you will both post your gracery receipts on the fridge. Then you will be able to see who is buying and spending what. After a month tell her that you want to make changes.

 

Koing

Elite Member <br> Super Moderator<br> Health and F
Oct 11, 2000
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wtf?

Stop spending so much money on the food! Get what SHE GETS then when she complains tell her WHAT SHE bought? Then just say you bought the same :D

Koing
 

erikistired

Diamond Member
Sep 27, 2000
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i tried that (without the kids and SO) and it didn't work either. we ended up just getting our own food stuffs and leaving the other's stuff alone. not sure how well that'd work with that many ppl tho. sucks she's making this turn into such an issue. maybe it's time for a house meeting.
 

zixxer

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Jul 6, 2001
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Originally posted by: KarenMarie
Why do you take turns like that? why not just get a packet of post it notes, stick your name on everything that is yours and let her and her family fend for themselves?

I don't even bother post it notes. I started drawing the line with my roommate. After backhanding her b/f a time or two, and using her shower knot thing to clean the bottom of the trash can, she's stopped eating my food, and stopped making messes for me to clean up.


fyi:
she ate my food, I asked why, her b/f got in my face. he started it.

before I washed the trashcan with her loofa thing, I told her the next mess of hers I had to clean up, would be with her loofa and toothbrush.




She got the hint quickly.
 

Ameesh

Lifer
Apr 3, 2001
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dont split groceries unles both parties agree on the foods to buy, i split with my roomate cause we eat meals together so its not abig deal
 

Geekbabe

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I think part of the issue is that she makes lip service about wanting to diet and eat properly but she's not ready yet.Hence all the trips for pizza and fast food.Also her kids are young and finicky,tonight for example I made home made soup,baked chicken and veggies with cream of mushroom soup,,then made a pan of shake and bake chicken tenders for the kids because they won't eat chicken with spices or seasonings.

I'm thinking that we need to sit down and make a fixed list of basic,commonly shared items,spilt that bill and take turns doing that shopping and that for extras,each family needs to cover their own.
 

xxAgentCowxx

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Jan 26, 2003
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I wouldnt ever make an agreement to share food. Im not a nazi, I dont mind sharing if he asks because my roommate offers to share stuff with me all the time, but whats mine is mine and whats his is his, and it makes everything a lot easier.
 

erikistired

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Sep 27, 2000
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Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I think part of the issue is that she makes lip service about wanting to diet and eat properly but she's not ready yet.Hence all the trips for pizza and fast food.Also her kids are young and finicky,tonight for example I made home made soup,baked chicken and veggies with cream of mushroom soup,,then made a pan of shake and bake chicken tenders for the kids because they won't eat chicken with spices or seasonings.

I'm thinking that we need to sit down and make a fixed list of basic,commonly shared items,spilt that bill and take turns doing that shopping and that for extras,each family needs to cover their own.

are you often making multiple dinners? if you aren't even eating the same things, she should be paying for her own food. sounds like you are basically providing for 2 families while she eats out or whatever. the shared items thing sounds like a good plan tho, at least a place to start. and the sitting down, otherwise all you get is hard feelings that build up until it gets ugly. might want to point out that when she goes out for dinner that isn't feeding the rest of the household, for whom she is supposed to be providing groceries for under the current plan.

i agree with the 2 fridges idea.

where are you going to put two fridges in a kitchen? nice idea, but realistically i don't think that'd work too well.
 

Geekbabe

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Originally posted by: BooGiMaN
why dont both of you go shopping together every week..split the bill at the register

That would appear to be a good solution but another part of this issue is that we clearly have differing ideas as to what should be purchased.She goes on and on about how she likes our healthy diet and loves my cooking but then complains that her kids won't eat that food.I think it's not an issue that's going to be solved that easily.
 

zixxer

Diamond Member
Jul 6, 2001
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If she eats out all the time then wtf is the problem???

sounds like she doesn't know what she's doing.
 

brtspears2

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Nov 16, 2000
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I've learned the hard way that sharing sucks. One person will always eat more than you and use a larger share or more valuable items.
 

Bryophyte

Lifer
Apr 25, 2001
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Sounds like it's time to stop sharing food. She and her kids don't want to eat the same things as you, and also, one adult and two kids (under 10yo) do not eat as much as three adults (you, s.o., teenager). Almost impossible to divide the grocery bill fairly in this situation.
 

poopaskoopa

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Sep 12, 2000
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I think going 50/50 on cost or sharing nothing would have to be the way. I don't know if you'd mind, but you could shop every week and make her pay half... Sounds like she'd complain about that too though.
 

cliftonite

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Jul 15, 2001
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Originally posted by: BooGiMaN
why dont both of you go shopping together every week..split the bill at the register

This or the 2 fridge idea seems to be the best so far.
 

BooGiMaN

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Jul 5, 2001
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i agree this has no easy solution but as long as you keep quiet about this unfair arrangement she will continue to take advantage of you.

tell her you can no longer afford to split the food bill and from now on you will only shop fo your family, let her eat out everyday if she desires.
 

Geekbabe

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Oct 16, 1999
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Originally posted by: fisher
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I think part of the issue is that she makes lip service about wanting to diet and eat properly but she's not ready yet.Hence all the trips for pizza and fast food.Also her kids are young and finicky,tonight for example I made home made soup,baked chicken and veggies with cream of mushroom soup,,then made a pan of shake and bake chicken tenders for the kids because they won't eat chicken with spices or seasonings.

I'm thinking that we need to sit down and make a fixed list of basic,commonly shared items,spilt that bill and take turns doing that shopping and that for extras,each family needs to cover their own.

are you often making multiple dinners? if you aren't even eating the same things, she should be paying for her own food. sounds like you are basically providing for 2 families while she eats out or whatever. the shared items thing sounds like a good plan tho, at least a place to start. and the sitting down, otherwise all you get is hard feelings that build up until it gets ugly. might want to point out that when she goes out for dinner that isn't feeding the rest of the household, for whom she is supposed to be providing groceries for under the current plan.

i agree with the 2 fridges idea.

where are you going to put two fridges in a kitchen? nice idea, but realistically i don't think that'd work too well.


Her kids are young,they dislike spices and seasonings,they won't eat things like peppers or onions which are staples in a low fat lifestyle.They want warm pumpkin pie for breakfast or scali bread toasted with spray butter and cream cheese,not oatmeal or cheerios.A lot of times,adaption is as easy as spilting the chicken into two batches,one seasoned for kids,one for adults ,however sometimes I feel like a short order cook.I want to avoid hard feelings or an ugly situation but damnit I'm hungry,I want a snack and there's no cheese hard or sliced,there's no crackers,no cottage cheese yada yada.

OTOH,I know she's equally frustrated,she feels she's buying stuff and having to foot the bill to eat out
just to put something in front of her kids that they will eat.