A brick layer working on a three-story tall chimney had set up a pulley system so that his helper could raise the bricks up to where he needed them. As he was working, his helper was complaining about how difficult it would be to get the last of the bricks up to the flat roof of the building. Just then another contractor had some material delivered and it was placed on the roof by a fork-lift brought to unload it. The brick layer asked if the driver would load his brick up there as well and the driver agreed. The brick layer realized that he would not need his helper any more and sent him home.
As the brick-layer completed the chimney he noticed that he had quite a few bricks left over and that the fork-lift was no longer at the jobsite. Now he had to figure out how to get the left-over bricks back down by himself. If he dropped them, they would surely break. So he decided to use the pulley that he had set up to lower them down.
First he went down to the ground and raised a large metal bucket up to the roof level using the rope and pulley. Next, he tied the rope off onto a railing and climbed back up to the roof and loaded the bricks into the bucket. Then he went back down to the ground. He knew that the bricks would be heavy, so he wrapped the rope around his hand a couple of times and then untied the end of the rope with his other hand. Well, the bricks were heavier than he imagined and with physics being as it is, he was immediately launched upwards at a high rate of speed.
As he was racing up towards the roof he encountered the bucket full of bricks coming down at an equally fast rate. He collided with the bucket and broke his nose and his shoulder. The bucket passed him by as he sped upwards. He reached the pulley just before the bucket hit the ground and broke a few of his fingers as they were pulled into the pulley. When the bucket hit the ground, it's bottom fell out and all of the bricks spilled onto the ground. Now the fun reversed. As the now light bucket sped upwards, the mason took a shot to the groin when one of his legs slipped into the empty bucket.
He then tilted enough to fall out of the bucket and continued with his gravity experiment. Eventually he landed on top of the pile of bricks and broke both feet. He collapsed in pain there on the bricks, but was glad to be alive. He let go off the rope and cried out for help. It was then that the bucket hit him in the head and fractured his skull.
You know, you could have just put a simple "Most" at the beginning of your post and not end up sounding like an utter moron.
(Well, you might have to delete the second half too)
As the brick-layer completed the chimney he noticed that he had quite a few bricks left over and that the fork-lift was no longer at the jobsite. Now he had to figure out how to get the left-over bricks back down by himself. If he dropped them, they would surely break. So he decided to use the pulley that he had set up to lower them down.
First he went down to the ground and raised a large metal bucket up to the roof level using the rope and pulley. Next, he tied the rope off onto a railing and climbed back up to the roof and loaded the bricks into the bucket. Then he went back down to the ground. He knew that the bricks would be heavy, so he wrapped the rope around his hand a couple of times and then untied the end of the rope with his other hand. Well, the bricks were heavier than he imagined and with physics being as it is, he was immediately launched upwards at a high rate of speed.
As he was racing up towards the roof he encountered the bucket full of bricks coming down at an equally fast rate. He collided with the bucket and broke his nose and his shoulder. The bucket passed him by as he sped upwards. He reached the pulley just before the bucket hit the ground and broke a few of his fingers as they were pulled into the pulley. When the bucket hit the ground, it's bottom fell out and all of the bricks spilled onto the ground. Now the fun reversed. As the now light bucket sped upwards, the mason took a shot to the groin when one of his legs slipped into the empty bucket.
He then tilted enough to fall out of the bucket and continued with his gravity experiment. Eventually he landed on top of the pile of bricks and broke both feet. He collapsed in pain there on the bricks, but was glad to be alive. He let go off the rope and cried out for help. It was then that the bucket hit him in the head and fractured his skull.
You know, you could have just put a simple "Most" at the beginning of your post and not end up sounding like an utter moron.
(Well, you might have to delete the second half too)
Fayd
Diamond Member
running into a port-a-pottie with explosive diarrhea, only to find there is no toilet paper.
been there.
MovingTarget
Diamond Member
- Jun 22, 2003
- 9,002
- 115
- 106
How about squat toilets in general? That is one thing I hope never to see stateside... They do have a brightside though....no seat position arguments with your significant other.
- Hearing that your familymembers have all died from Ebola.
- Getting a police visit to tell you that your child had an encounter with a priest.
- Sarah Palin or Bin Laden (not much difference) becoming the next US president.
- Losing your job and all your posessions, and being forced to live on the street.
- Waking up to find out you are suddenly a Palestinian in Gaza or an opposition leader in Zimbabwe.
- Due to an environmental disaster 99.9% of the food supply is destroyed and to survive you have to kill and eat other people.
There are tons of things which are worse
Rubycon
Madame President
- Aug 10, 2005
- 17,768
- 485
- 126
This. And this is the reason why the superglue trick results in a 911 call with the poor sap getting carried into an ambulance with a toilet saddle firmly attached to their ass. The only thing that could possibly be more humiliating would be a scene from the beginning of "There's Something about Mary" where Ted gets his pecker caught in his zipper. FRANKS AND BEANS! :laugh:
Rubycon
Madame President
- Aug 10, 2005
- 17,768
- 485
- 126
Being in said port-a-potty when a front end loader backs into it turning it over spilling diarrhea everywhere. And of course - like a cat landing on its feet - the thing comes to rest door facing down! On top of things, the sun is shining and it's 100 degrees outside! :Q
eplebnista
Lifer
- Dec 3, 2001
- 24,123
- 36
- 91
- Oct 9, 1999
- 46,875
- 10,686
- 147
Fixed.
Mosh stands up to pee, but is often half naked because (s)he was only recently introduced to the concept of pants by Moran Missionaries. Come to think of it, Mosh was only recently introduced to toilets, and at first thought they were some sort of baptismal font.
amdhunter
Lifer
- May 19, 2003
- 23,332
- 249
- 106
Originally posted by: Perknose
Fixed.
Mosh stands up to pee, but is often half naked because (s)he was only recently introduced to the concept of pants by Moran Missionaries. Come to think of it, Mosh was only recently introduced to toilets, and at first thought they were some sort of baptismal font.
I am intrigued by these Moran missionaires. Where can I find such folk? I'd like to subscribe to their newsletter.
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