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My younger sister is driving me nuts! (update)

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Originally posted by: hdeck
let her learn the hard way.
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ya mean like letting her be, and hopefully in a few years when she has no job, no education and nowhere to go and is forced to work at mcdonalds for the rest of her life, maybe she'll straighten up?

sounds like a good plan, and im all for it, but its gonna totally suck to watch someone you love going being such a b*tch
 
Originally posted by: isekii
Originally posted by: xospec1alk
Originally posted by: Dr Smooth
Originally posted by: xospec1alk
most of my family live in nyc (where im at), so that would be a no, the next closest thing would be hong kong, and i dont know if thats really possible.

i was also thinking about taking her outta school, and telling her to get a job, i mean shes not going to school, mite as well get a job or something....
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How much would cost to send her to Hong Kong? The reason I ask is because it sounds like she needs a change. Is she old enough, over 16, to be legally taken out of school?
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she just turned 16...i wonder if thats old enough...

i agree w/ isekii tho, big cities can't be too good for a 16 year old girl. but then again, i know people from buttmunch, usa who aren't that great themselves...

arggg its so frustrating. my dad was even thinking of pickin up and moving the family over to jersey (blech)
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what the hell is wrong with jersey ?
I live in jersey ~! 😛
Jersey is a lot nicer than NY 🙂

why not move into long island, i dont mean near the city but further out. I used to live there.... there is nothing to do unless you have a car to get around.
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heh nothing wrong w/ jersey...just that i prefer the city =)

 
Do us and yourself a world of good by doing the following:

1) Let Your Sisters Be! - No really...theyre human beings who have their own life to lead. Let THEM lead it, no matter where it leads them. Just be a brother and be there when they need you.

2)Let Your Parents Do what they will - Again, your "interference" no matter how well intentioned, will only ADD to the problem.

3) Mind Your OWN fscking business - YOU have a life to lead, lead it without trying to be a babysitter, a mom, or a dad before your time.
Goto college, get good grades, graduate and make tons of money, get married, have your own kids....THEN worry like a bytch about THEM.

Be a family member, instead of trying to be THE family itself.
~wnied~
 
Send her to one of those military boot camp stuff that's supposed to reform children (sometimes in foreign countries) for a year. It works WONDERS from what I hear. Our high school newspaper did an article on it (back in the days when i was in hs), and the kid who got sent away admitted that the program really helped to clean up his act.

-Ed
 
Perhaps we are missing a vital piece of this story. I have a feeling your sister's perspective on this would shed some light on the situation.
 
Originally posted by: Millennium
Originally posted by: xospec1alk
a little long, but please read it through, a young life is on the line.

around a year or two ago, my younger sister started to act a little flaky, ......
so...my question to the ATOTers is this. should we just disown her or something? she does not listen to reason, and has no respect for anyone. is this just a phase? should we just ignore it and let her be?
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To be honest? There is about 7 million different things you can do, yet none of them are going to change her. She is either going to realize her errors and stop doing those things or she is going to get worse. I would think a suicide try in her case was more of an attention getter than an actual attempt to die. She can go to psychiatrists but don't expect any miracles. The best thing you and your parents can do is NOT be mad at her. Be disappointed at her because then she is forced to look at her self. If you are mad she will use it as fuel to continue her activities; when she says disappointment it will affect her heart.

I wish you lots of luck my friend and I hope your sister can recover. My advice to you is to pray a little, hope a little, and show a lot of love.
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EXACTLY.....
Qualified mental health doctors/ Family therapists are called for here.
Good luck.
 
Originally posted by: wnied
Do us and yourself a world of good by doing the following:

1) Let Your Sisters Be! - No really...theyre human beings who have their own life to lead. Let THEM lead it, no matter where it leads them. Just be a brother and be there when they need you.

2)Let Your Parents Do what they will - Again, your "interference" no matter how well intentioned, will only ADD to the problem.

3) Mind Your OWN fscking business - YOU have a life to lead, lead it without trying to be a babysitter, a mom, or a dad before your time.
Goto college, get good grades, graduate and make tons of money, get married, have your own kids....THEN worry like a bytch about THEM.

Be a family member, instead of trying to be THE family itself.
~wnied~
Click to expand...


dude, so im supposed to sit back and watch as my sister ends up with no education, and no hope for a better life?? the problem with the relationship between my parents and my sister is that they scold her, and she gets pissed off and tries to kill herself, and this is twice that that has happened already. that is something that needs to be corrected.

i guess the only thing im doing wrong here is caring about my family. i've already took it upon myself to move out of that crazyhouse, i guess the next step is to disown my family.
 
Originally posted by: SagaLore
Perhaps we are missing a vital piece of this story. I have a feeling your sister's perspective on this would shed some light on the situation.
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i only wish i knew what my sister is thinking.

heres an interesting story though. my older sister caught my younger sister smoking in our backyard, and when she confronted her, my younger sister still insisted that she does not smoke, even though there was a cigarette in her hand, and there was no one else around...i mean to me, thats just plain retarded.

everytime my older sister tries to get into my younger sister's head, she starts crying, and spouts off "i dont know"
 
I have a cousin who's like this. She's 16 and has problems listening to authority. Without getting into details, I'll just say the psychiatrist/psychologist/institution about 2 hours away/etc. have not worked. She is still defiant and does whatever the hell she wants. Her older sister (who you'd think could influence her) simply can't control her anymore. Everyone in the family has given their all in trying to help her but it seems useless. They have not gone so far as to disown her yet... though they've thought about it many times. Hopefully she will turn it around one day when she wakes up and realizes all the pain she's caused by her actions. Her older sister has... and did a complete 180 within a year.

I don't know if things like this are a result of poor parenting (discipline) techniques or what... because it's not like the parents didn't care about her. Much of it has to do with hanging out with the wrong crowd. When you're a parent, you must watch over everything they do and act (at the very least) like you care. If they've already done everything they can, the best they could possibly do is to keep her out of trouble and hope she turns it around. Sorry no help, but the best of luck your family.

These types of things can happen anywhere. My cousins live out in Alberta, Canada...
 
Originally posted by: xospec1alk
Originally posted by: wnied
Do us and yourself a world of good by doing the following:

1) Let Your Sisters Be! - No really...theyre human beings who have their own life to lead. Let THEM lead it, no matter where it leads them. Just be a brother and be there when they need you.

2)Let Your Parents Do what they will - Again, your "interference" no matter how well intentioned, will only ADD to the problem.

3) Mind Your OWN fscking business - YOU have a life to lead, lead it without trying to be a babysitter, a mom, or a dad before your time.
Goto college, get good grades, graduate and make tons of money, get married, have your own kids....THEN worry like a bytch about THEM.

Be a family member, instead of trying to be THE family itself.
~wnied~
Click to expand...


dude, so im supposed to sit back and watch as my sister ends up with no education, and no hope for a better life?? the problem with the relationship between my parents and my sister is that they scold her, and she gets pissed off and tries to kill herself, and this is twice that that has happened already. that is something that needs to be corrected.

i guess the only thing im doing wrong here is caring about my family. i've already took it upon myself to move out of that crazyhouse, i guess the next step is to disown my family.
Click to expand...


The difference between men and women is that women can meet a guy that would take care of them financially etc.. a lot easier than men can.
maybe she'll get married to a good guy that would take care of all her needs ?
 
Originally posted by: Azraele
Boot camp, military school, or some sort of alternative school.
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My younger sister is driving me nuts!
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Send her over to my place... I have some lessons to teach her.. beginning with how to do some soldering and masonry.. 🙂 She'll run back home 😛
 
Originally posted by: rh71
I have a cousin who's like this. She's 16 and has problems listening to authority. Without getting into details, I'll just say the psychiatrist/psychologist/institution about 2 hours away/etc. have not worked. She is still defiant and does whatever the hell she wants. Her older sister (who you'd think could influence her) simply can't control her anymore. Everyone in the family has given their all in trying to help her but it seems useless. They have not gone so far as to disown her yet... though they've thought about it many times. Hopefully she will turn it around one day when she wakes up and realizes all the pain she's caused by her actions. Her older sister has... and did a complete 180 within a year.

I don't know if things like this are a result of poor parenting (discipline) techniques or what... because it's not like the parents didn't care about her. Much of it has to do with hanging out with the wrong crowd. When you're a parent, you must watch over everything they do and act (at the very least) like you care. If they've already done everything they can, the best they could possibly do is to keep her out of trouble and hope she turns it around. Sorry no help, but the best of luck your family.
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i think my parents should have beat her more. they used to beat me (not child abuse-like beatings, like a smack or something here or there) and i've turned out just fine. its painful to see this girl out of control, and it makes me think about how i would react if i were to be put into this situation when i myslef, am a parent.
 
uhhhh...... pics?
j/k

That sucks I'm starting to see it more and more, sadly enough this type of behavior is starting to become common among some teenage girls. If you care for her you would have your family take her in for serious help. It might cost a bit of money and wont necessarily work but it's probably one of your only options. The best way to deal with this is preventative measures which includes good parenting early on. I think today young people need more supervision than they used to. Without supervision a lot of decent kids can be convinced to do stupid things. Heck I did some stupid stuff when I thought noone was paying attention and I was an honor student. But most of my values were learned at a young age and because of that I stayed out of destructive situations (to myself or others).
Basically get her help, but just remember this when you have kids and know that the best way is to stop it before it starts.
 
Let me just say that any type of boot camp, military school, or being forced to live with relatives is ALWAYS detrimental to a child. It is absolutely a sign of terrible parenting.
 
Originally posted by: xospec1alk
Originally posted by: rh71
I have a cousin who's like this. She's 16 and has problems listening to authority. Without getting into details, I'll just say the psychiatrist/psychologist/institution about 2 hours away/etc. have not worked. She is still defiant and does whatever the hell she wants. Her older sister (who you'd think could influence her) simply can't control her anymore. Everyone in the family has given their all in trying to help her but it seems useless. They have not gone so far as to disown her yet... though they've thought about it many times. Hopefully she will turn it around one day when she wakes up and realizes all the pain she's caused by her actions. Her older sister has... and did a complete 180 within a year.

I don't know if things like this are a result of poor parenting (discipline) techniques or what... because it's not like the parents didn't care about her. Much of it has to do with hanging out with the wrong crowd. When you're a parent, you must watch over everything they do and act (at the very least) like you care. If they've already done everything they can, the best they could possibly do is to keep her out of trouble and hope she turns it around. Sorry no help, but the best of luck your family.
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i think my parents should have beat her more. they used to beat me (not child abuse-like beatings, like a smack or something here or there) and i've turned out just fine. its painful to see this girl out of control, and it makes me think about how i would react if i were to be put into this situation when i myslef, am a parent.
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So your family is living proof of the effectiveness of beating and the ineffectiveness of not beating enough.
rolleye.gif


Well no wonder your sister has trouble distinguishing right from wrong. All she knows is punishment vs non punishment.
 
Originally posted by: WinkOsmosis
Originally posted by: xospec1alk
Originally posted by: rh71
I have a cousin who's like this. She's 16 and has problems listening to authority. Without getting into details, I'll just say the psychiatrist/psychologist/institution about 2 hours away/etc. have not worked. She is still defiant and does whatever the hell she wants. Her older sister (who you'd think could influence her) simply can't control her anymore. Everyone in the family has given their all in trying to help her but it seems useless. They have not gone so far as to disown her yet... though they've thought about it many times. Hopefully she will turn it around one day when she wakes up and realizes all the pain she's caused by her actions. Her older sister has... and did a complete 180 within a year.

I don't know if things like this are a result of poor parenting (discipline) techniques or what... because it's not like the parents didn't care about her. Much of it has to do with hanging out with the wrong crowd. When you're a parent, you must watch over everything they do and act (at the very least) like you care. If they've already done everything they can, the best they could possibly do is to keep her out of trouble and hope she turns it around. Sorry no help, but the best of luck your family.
Click to expand...

i think my parents should have beat her more. they used to beat me (not child abuse-like beatings, like a smack or something here or there) and i've turned out just fine. its painful to see this girl out of control, and it makes me think about how i would react if i were to be put into this situation when i myslef, am a parent.
Click to expand...

So your family is living proof of the effectiveness of beating and the ineffectiveness of not beating enough.
rolleye.gif


Well no wonder your sister has trouble distinguishing right from wrong. All she knows is punishment vs non punishment.
Click to expand...

Save it. There is nothing wrong with corporal punishment.
 
Originally posted by: Harvey
... cutting school, hanging with the wrong crowd, lying to my parents, all the usual teenage stuff...
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That is NOT usual teenage stuff. That is seriously delinquent teenage stuff. Sorry to bring up some painful possibilities, but it sounds like she may be hanging with a group that has drug problems. Your parents should consider looking for professional help which will, of necessity, require getting that help to your sister, as well.

If that turns out to be the problem, they may want to consider putting her in another school away from her current group of "friends." In any case, I wish you and your family the best in finding a solution.
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I'm glad someone pointed this out.

Best of luck with your sis.

Ryan

 
Hows your own relationship with your sis? You should try to talk to her, identify where shes coming from. Your the one closest to her age right? Just be subtle and dont try to force anything.
 
So, my parents decided that they wanna transfer her out of her current HS, and move in with me in the city (they live in queens, one of the outer boroughs). I am hoping that a change of environment, as well as a change of schools, and getting rid of her delinquent friends would seriously help her.

im also hearing a lot of criticisms about how this wont help her and all that...because she'll still find delinquent friends, and fall back into her old routine....but isn't is also possible, that forcing her to "grow up" by not being pampered by her parents also a good thing?
 
i think you just need to allow her to have the revelation that she needs to change. it's unforntunet that her education will be corrupted, but just taking her away and making her feel alone won't do much good. I'd say sit her down and have a talk with her. ask her if her friends will get her a good job? will they pay her bills when she is 18. because i'm sure your parents aren't going to want to continue with this disrespect, and will throw her out at 18. so yea, you or your sister would be better talking to her then our parents i expect
 
Looks like the girl has some problems... Although it's a very typical situation. I don't think anyone can help. I think she enjoys being a 'bad' type of a girl, then nothing you can do, I think.
 
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