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My wife and I would like to go back to school?

X

xalos

Senior member
We have a 5 year old son.

The only bills we have are electric, tv/internet/voip, rent, 1 cellphone, and car/renters insurance.

Which comes out around $1135 a month

So, adding in food costs, fuel for vehicles, and clothing costs.

Would be an additional $500ish needed for that stuff.

We would both work part time and our child care costs are pretty low, $2 an hour.

I know I can bring in roughly 1011 net a month, and if she could bring in $200 a week net waiting tables or something we would be ok on the living expenses thing.

My son also has special needs and I may be able to get some help from the government eventually but that process takes a bit and we have always made a bit too much money in the past to get the help.

I am going to meet with financial advisors here in the coming week or so to see if the tuition and books money could be there. But, I figured some of you might have been in a similar situation and can give me some insight.

I also have the thought to join the national guard like some of the guys at work, for the extra money and tuition assistance.

Our credit is kinda bad right now because of medical bills and stuff (our son was a little expensive) so I don't think I will qualify for the extra loans you can take out from school.
But, I could be wrong.

Any feedback?
 
I was going to suggest that one of you go back to school first while the other works, but would that create any resentment?

It's a challenging situation you have--best of luck.
 
i think thats really tight and you'll be under a lot of strees especially if you study something challenging but if you feel like you guys can handle it, its will be much better for you in the liong term, both of you will have college degrees, you'll probably earning quite a bit more and you'll be able to provide for your son and yourselves with a lot more ease


I saw go for it if you know you have the conviction to follow through
 
We both are going to go pre-med, I've been wanting to go into pediactrics since I was a kid and she wants to be an OBGYN. We were both starting this path a long time ago but when our son came things were just too tough with his handicaps. But, we can handle things better and figured it might be the best time to try.

So, if one goes and then the other it would be roughly 24 years until were both done.
 
#1 Financial issues will really come into play after a while
#2 Depending on how many courses you take, you could pull it off while keeping a PT job, but that will still be hard as the courses get towards Organic Chem and Biochem
#3 How realistically good are you and your wife at school? Becasue if science is not your thing then I really wouldn't attempt it. So many people are going for medicine these days that you have to pretty much have as close to a 4.0 as possible for you even to be considered.
#4 Assuming you get into med school, no more PT jobs are going to happen, it is an all or nothing studyfest.

As everyone else here stated, I would have one person work FT and have the other go to school FT....if it starts not working out for one person, they can either switch to an different career path or let the other person go to school. Honestly though, med school is really hard to get into....you might want to think of nursing or pharmacy.
 
It would probably make sense if one of you got your degree first. It would be easier on your wallet if one of you could work full time, and you'll hopefully one of you will end up with a better source of income once the first person graduates.

Joining the National Guard is probably a BAD idea right now, too. Don't believe what the recuriters tell you... Odds are that you'll get called up to do a tour of duty overseas.
 
Originally posted by: xalos
We both are going to go pre-med, I've been wanting to go into pediactrics since I was a kid and she wants to be an OBGYN. We were both starting this path a long time ago but when our son came things were just too tough with his handicaps. But, we can handle things better and figured it might be the best time to try.

So, if one goes and then the other it would be roughly 24 years until were both done.
Click to expand...
How about this:

She goes now, while you keep working full-time another year or two to try to build up some cash reserves and wipe out existing debt.
 
Dont have any existing debt aside from medical bills which are around 300k, we have some money saved back for rainy days. As far as paying for bills and stuff I think we will be fine. It's just the tuition + book costs that have me worried.
 
interest free student loans are your friend... money shouldn't be much of an issue, it's the time factor that would be hard... you realize you wont have much time to see your family right?
 
What would you go back to school for? What kind of degree? In this instance, make sure you are investing your time and money into a degree with a good payoff in the end.

r
 
My wife and I would probably try to take the same classes, so we would be together often. I would see my son probably more than I see him now since I work about 50-60 hrs a week.
 
Originally posted by: xalos
My wife and I would probably try to take the same classes, so we would be together often. I would see my son probably more than I see him now since I work about 50-60 hrs a week.
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Sounds like it could work. If this is what you both really want, do it!
 
Originally posted by: xalos
We both are going to go pre-med, I've been wanting to go into pediactrics since I was a kid and she wants to be an OBGYN. We were both starting this path a long time ago but when our son came things were just too tough with his handicaps. But, we can handle things better and figured it might be the best time to try.

So, if one goes and then the other it would be roughly 24 years until were both done.
Click to expand...

Good luck. Med school is ultra competetive. Where would you be going back to school? I'd imagine the reputation of the school would either help/hinder your chances. My recommendation would be to take courses that could transfer over into a nursing or physical therapy program as backup. Heck, it's even difficult to get into a nursing school where I live. For some reason there are so many applicants... many with GPAs that could get them into med school.

Also, do you know what your getting into? Have you shadowed a doctor or spent time volunteering in a hospital? Do you live and breathe science? Even if you get into med school you'll be plunking down an abundance of moola. My bro will owe nearly $200,000 once he's finished.
 
I think it's possible, but would be very very hard. A couple of things you need to look at:

1. Since you have poor credit and huge debt, you probably won't qualify for Medloans ALP...these are the private loans med students take out to cover living expenses. I'm being very honest when I say it's almost impossible to work part time and goto med school (Let alone earn $1500 a month). It's possible if you're very smart, skip class, and are extremely organized and efficient...but life will be hell. Class is usually 8-4. Most people I know study 6-8 hours a day. If you need class to learn, you'll be in trouble.

2. You and your wife might have enough time to spend with your son the first two years of med school (just skip class), but 3rd year is a little different. You'd be doing rotations, working insane hours + call, and be mentally and physically exhaused from work/studying. 4th year is lighter because you can choose electives, so it'd be better....but you would have no time to work part time. During some rotations (like surgery) you get about 4 hours of sleep per night, you work weekends, and get 1 day off every 14 days. Depending on the call schedule you'd work 24+ hours straight every x days.

3. Pediatrics is low pressure, so you could afford to be an average (or even below average) medical student. OB/GYN is more selective, but an average board score would serve you fine. Grades 3rd and 4th year are based on evaluations by attendings + exam scores, so you can't afford to slack off here.

4. Pediatrics pay is really low (relatively speaking). I don't remember exactly, but I think it's around 130K. Even if it's your dream, consider your financial obligations to your son/wife. You and your wife will rack up around $260K in debt. Add this to the $300K you owe...considering what you make in peds, most people would say it isn't worth it. But if it's your dream, go for it.

5. OB/GYN pay is very good (I think 220K), but the lifestyle is harsh and the malpractice is high. I'd talk to someone in the field about the lifestyle and take-home pay before committing.

6. You only make like 40K during residency...plus you have to start paying back loans (unless you file for hardship). So don't count on the big money for another 6-7+ years
During this time, your life will suck, and suck hard....so think about this seriously.

7. Why not do Law or B School? The work is easier, it's only 2-3 years, you can work part time, and you'll earn good money right when you graduate. Even if you succeed in med school, your son will probably know his babysitter better than you. I know married couples in med schools, but one partner always works and takes care of the kids. Don't get me wrong... I love medicine, but in your situation I'd explore other interests to fit your life.

Cliffs:
1. You probably won't get private loans.
2. If you skip class, you can see your son some 1st/2nd year, but not really 3rd year.
3. You can slack off (Pediatrics = easy to get in). Your wife can't as much.
4. Pediatrics pay = crappy ($130K). OB/GYN = Good ($220K). Wife wears pants.
5. OB/Gyn lifestyle sucks, malpractice is high...so income might not be that great.
6. During residency (2-3+ years) you make 40K, life sucks, you've been in school for 4 years, and your total debt = $560K (300K from before, $260K for med school)
7. Your son will know his babysitter better than you and your wife. Why not Law or Busines school?
 
I think you should do whatever you can so both of you go back to school. However I think both of you getting into medical school with a kid may be a challenge.

Realistically I think both of you should get your bachelor's degree and then maybe only one of you go to med school. That way the one not going to med school and probably have a "better" job due to have an undergrad degree (as opposed to no degree) and be able to support the other person as well as the child.
 
I have a ton of feedback!

My wife and I are in a very similar situation as you are. We have been married 8 years (in a few weeks), have a son going on 2, and have pretty much the same bills as you both do. We however are almost through with things on the education front, so I can speak from hindsight.


- Most of my tuition from my B.S. and M.S. was paid by the army and my MGI Bill, the rest with subsidized stafford loans (small amount), and the same goes for my wife. When we first started college we both worked (in the army) so we did have some income but not much at all (the free housing was a huge plus).

- Time has always been a factor and takes a careful balancing act, especially with our son. We never had daycare so we had to ensure our schedules didn't overlap in school. This was probably the most difficult factor, aside from being broke all the time, and still is in a way for my wife (she is doing her masters now).

- Financial worry will be at an all time high (still is for me) and you really have to be dedicated to make sure everything stretches and you don't miss bills.

- Get used to stress, as the further you progress in school and as classes become more difficult and time consuming, the stress is about 100 times that of a young single college student. There will be A LOT on your plate, and stress can hurt not only your family life, but your social and academic life as well.

- Having a child in the mix just further complicates things, as you want to ensure that one of you has time for him (between job and school/studying).

- We struggled (partly because of my spending habits) financially, and thats not all. We had a tough time emotionally in our relationship/family dealing with all of these added stresses and duties that our relationship wasn't the best in the world. This was before our son was born, and after things improved, but the stress rose considerably.

Now my personal suggestions for you based on my experiences:

* If money is tight don't let it hold you back from your goals/dreams. You can always find a way to make it work via extra work/loans/state & fed. aid/etc.

* Think more about the time commitment than any other factor, because with both of you working part time and going to school full time and raising a child, your time will be stretched VERY far to almost the point of being hazardous. Time management is critical here, but you can make it work (we did).

* Consider existing debt and future debt (college costs) which based on your career path will be extremely costly. How will you pay for your undergrad, not to mention Med school if you can't qualify for non-subsidized loans because of your poor credit/existing debt? That would be a key thing to consider, for both of you.

* Use the national guard as a last resort. As a ex-soldier (active duty though) I can tell you the military can be more of a distraction than a benefit for those seeking to get a degree (i was one of the lucky ones). Do you really want the added stress of worrying about getting deployed to Iraq or elsewhere while your attending school and working to make ends meet? And the chances are you eventually will get deployed, dispite what recruiters tell you. Can you imagine what taking a year off from school, leaving your wife alone with your son, college, and a part time job would have on your family? It would be devestating quite frankly.

* Age is also a factor, but since you didn't state it I can't reply directly. My wife and I are 28, so spent the past 6 years going through what you are.

* And finally...don't listen to people who tell you money isn't a big factor, cause it is, trust me! Your ability to maintain your bills and living expenses effects not only your means of survival, but also your relationship with your wife and son, your education (how good you do in school), and your own mental health. Stress is a biatch, and as you will find out, can just keep stacking up until it gets out of control. So make sure you can handle it before you make any decisions (find a good release).

As a family that has taken on this quest and come out "somewhat" on top, I wish you the best of luck. There is no reason why you can't do it, and if you want it bad enough you will make it work no matter how hard it is. But in the end, don't let your family life suffer because of it. Some things just aren't worth that kind of pain.


EDIT: This is the most thought I have put into a post in ATOT in a long time, and my longest post in OT to date. LOL
 
Originally posted by: Babbles
I think you should do whatever you can so both of you go back to school. However I think both of you getting into medical school with a kid may be a challenge.

Realistically I think both of you should get your bachelor's degree and then maybe only one of you go to med school. That way the one not going to med school and probably have a "better" job due to have an undergrad degree (as opposed to no degree) and be able to support the other person as well as the child.
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* This is a very good suggestion! *
 
I don't mean to sound negative or harsh by any means but why did your wife (or girlfriend at the time) have this child if neither of you had yet to achieve your respective career goals? I hate to say it but I don't see it happening, unless you each take out a massive loan and go to school one at a time. Of course, if it's going to take 24 combined years, it is not going to be worth it. Consider it life's cruel lesson on responsibility.
 
24 years aint worth it. By the time you're done you will be in your late 30's or 40's. If I were you, I would go into something easier and require less education. If you're going into med for the money, boy you're dead wrong. If you want more money, think about financing or business. <----seriously these guys make much more and they required less school time. of course this is just my take on it.

--Scsi
 
Originally posted by: SilentZero
Originally posted by: Babbles
I think you should do whatever you can so both of you go back to school. However I think both of you getting into medical school with a kid may be a challenge.

Realistically I think both of you should get your bachelor's degree and then maybe only one of you go to med school. That way the one not going to med school and probably have a "better" job due to have an undergrad degree (as opposed to no degree) and be able to support the other person as well as the child.
Click to expand...

* This is a very good suggestion! *
Click to expand...

:thumbsup:
 
You said you need $1635 a month plus $2.00 hr for childcare. That's about $1715.
You're going to be pulling down $1311 if the woman gets the $200 a week job that she doesn't have.
That leaves you $504 a month short. $704 if the woman doesn't get the job that she doesn't have yet.

So the reality is that currently you cannot afford it. Ignoring the numbers doesn't help.
Straighten me out if I understood wrong.

It's super important to look at the entire picture and accept what it says.
As it stands, it looks like you're a lot closer to sending the wife back to school as you continue to support the two of them.
Maybe your wife can go and finish her degree, get some work, wait for you to finish, then she can go back and finish up her med degree and you can finish yours after hers.
That'd take about 10 years but it'd leave plenty of room for you three to improve your income along the way.
 
Keep in mind that you will have NO free time for the better part of the next decade. It sounds like a short while for the inherent benefit, but just wait until you want to take your son somewhere and have to go to class or study instead.

Be prepared.
 
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