My sister's getting married and she needs some help...

[Ladi]

My sister's wedding is in mid-June, and the date was set in Dec/Jan, so she's having some issues getting things together. Can anyone give some suggestions? I'm just going to quote (mostly) verbatim from her last email:

Wedding inviations? HELP. We can't find anything we like or agree on that's not way expensive. Any ideas? Cheap is about $35 per 50, midrange is $70 per fifty, and one's I like are $100 per fifty. Thankfully it's usually only and additional $3-5 for an additional 25, but then you have to add in the inner envelope (why?), reception response cards/envelopes, direction cards, etc. etc. Any brillant ideas?

Favors? Dad is folding paper cranes and I want wedding bubbles. How do you put those together?

For some background, my sister's wedding is going to be an evening ceremony (outdoors, complete with candles) followed by a dessert reception...about 100-150 people total, small wedding party. She has a traditional gown, maid/matron of honor will be wearing Chinese-style dresses, flowers will be birds of paradise (both blue and white)...so think classy with a taste of oriental.

[edit]As long as I'm at it...I may as well ask for advice on this too: I need to figure out what to do with my hair (I'm the maid of honor). The woman who's going to be doing my hair is a genius, but I don't have any idea what I want...my sister's only restriction is that I can't look better than her (doubtful i could possibly attract more attention in a purple bird suit ;p). I've got long, straight, almost-waist-length hair that's fairly thick and slippery..so it doesn't like to be put up very much, but it can be done. Any ideas?[/edit]

Help? Please? I'm going to go do some research between/after classes today, but I'm hoping for some pointers from people who've already been through this

~Ladi

 

[Nick Stone]

Typical geek answer. My daughter, who got married in Dec. made her own. She put together the whole wedding in 4 1/2 weeks after moving it up 6 months. It was slow printing out over 250 of them, even on a laser printer. She used special paper that looked and felt like the highclass printshops. Most people thought they looked fine. Same for the reception card, RSVP card, card for directions on how to get everywhere. Schedule and telephone # card. and rehersal dinner card all in the same envelope where appropriate.

 

[Ladi]

Nick - that's a definite possibility...my parents have an old laser printer (it works and nobody uses it much, so tying it up with printing for a weekend is no big deal) and I've got Quark and a design background. Do you know what type of paper was used and where to get it? and where I can get a clear description of what elements have to go where for each of those lil cards and how invitations and such need to be put together? Thanks!

~Ladi

 

[Adul]

that's a beautiful dress you have there ladi.
-

 

[Isla]

That is a gorgeous dress... I want one!

I'm afraid even though I have been married 2xs, the only advice I can give for you and you sister is to go with what you are comfortable with.

Heh, the first time I barely remember... I was 17 and insisted on being married barefooted in my aunt's country garden in a white cotton eyelet sundress. The second time my mother-in-law dominated everything, so it wasn't exactly my style. I did have my own invitations designed but since it was an informal wedding, we left out all that fancy stuff.

If you go for simple rather than complicated, there will be less chance for things to go wrong! The more formal she wants it, the more you will have to look up the etiquette books to do it 'right'.

My best advice to her:

Don't worry too much about what other people are going to think when it comes to the details... go with what pleases YOU and makes YOU feel good. Same for your hair... experiment a little and go with what you can live with on your head for 6 hours or so.

Chances are good that if you are having a wonderful time, everyone else will, too.

 

[Nick Stone]

Ladi

Sorry, All I did was to train my daughter (who was 27 years old) on 2 or 3 generations of computers -- - and pay for it all. She also moved, they bought a house and he changed jobs in same time period, so you really can do everything at once if required. It was her idea to save money this way since (She can put routinely put together broshures and newsleters for her work) since I tried to insist that she stick to a set budget. BTW she left out the extra envelope and onion skin paper. The RSVP was a preaddressed, stamped postcard with blocks to check attendance.
2nd BTW, the computer also comes in handy for thank-you notes (although you need to hand write a personal message) and for keeping your budget and your schedule straight.

My only advice would be to ask everyone you know who has recently gotten married what they learned about this ordeal. BTW there are several wedding planner websites that run you thru a huge checklist of reminders.

My daughter arranged for her hair and makeup people to meet her at the church 3 hours before the wedding since the dressing area had space for 4-5 females to be worked on at the same time. I'm sure it costs extra though.

Uh, -- don't put the paper cranes in your hair regardless of what your father thinks.

 

[Ladi]

Adul - thanks...I love it too

Isla - the dress isn't all *that* expensive, and it's custom-made to fit...splurge on yourself I think my sister wants something simple/classy and she's been pretty decisive so far...the only issues have been details, cost, and organizing planning over 3 states and 3/4's of the country. Hair...whel, last time I had it done formally, it took 3 hours just for it to be curly ;p I just don't know what CAN be done and it's hard to experiment on myself :/

Nick - the RSVP as a postcard sounds pretty cool...since they're thinking about doing a video/photo montage during the reception, perhaps a custom postcard with a cute picture of them together or of the area the wedding will take place would be nice (and possibly cheaper? anyone know?). I know my sister is using her computer for everything since email is the only cheap way for the wedding party/planners to keep in contact, but a spreadsheet for guests/RSVPs/thankyous/etc could be immensely useful. The woman doing my hair is absolutely incredible...the only one I've ever trusted with my hair, so I'm pretty sure she won't even consider paper cranes ;D

Thanks for the comments...keep 'em coming

~Ladi

 

[Nick Stone]

Ladi
<<<< perhaps a custom postcard with a cute picture of them together or of the area the wedding will take place would be nice (and possibly cheaper? anyone know?). >>>>

Oh, just remembered, The sheet that was passed out to each guest as they are seated (what do you call that?) had their wedding picture which they had taken in advance, scanned on the cover sheet. Besides the usual time, date place, officials, principal players, etc. they included a few cute antidotes about themselves, how they met, etc. on the back.
Also you could include a scanned paper picture from the reception with the thank-you notes.

BTW, I don't know why I'm answering this thread. I don't know how to plan a wedding. But you should probably keep the father of the bride making those paper cranes, just to keep him busy.

 

[Ladi]

Nick - thanks for the thoughts...I'll look into/suggest all of them..especially since I don't think my sister's even thought about the wedding program thingie yet

^bump^ for the after-work crew...

~Ladi

 

[bcterps]

First of all, congratulations! I'm getting married on June 16th Well my fiancee is doing the vast majority of the preparations, I can give you a little bit of advice. About the invitations, there are tons of types of invitations, I personally looked through about 500 I'm sure. You dont need to get all the envelopes and things if you dont want to, the person they are talking about invitations should not be pushing them to get them.

The easiest things to do yourselves would be a direction card and the program. If you want to do the entire invitation yourself, It is definitely doable. I would avoid going to Staples or some similar place to get your card stock. The best is to go to a paper wholesaler (you can look them up in the yellow pages). These are the same people who sell to printing companies, but they will also sell to regular consumers. It is a lot cheaper that way.

In terms of discounts, there are only a few wedding invitation companies, so the discounts should be uniform. There should be a minimum of a 20% discount off the list price, the person I'm getting mine from is giving us 25% off, I know some people that give 30-35% off.

When you order your invitations, make sure your order enough so that you arent gonna need to place another order. The first 50 are the most expensive, and if you need to order more again, it'll get really expensive. for a wedding of 100-150, I assume that most of the people coming are couples, so you probably need about 60-90 invitations, just to be on the safe side.

Wedding programs definitely dont need to be as elaborate as your invitation. That is something that you can definitely do yourselves. Usually a single piece of good card stock is sufficient, unless you have a long program.

For my wedding, we are trying to spend more money on things that we think will last longer, and spending less on stuff that is just gonna be thrown away. For example, you can spend a ton on flowers, but they are just gonna die and you arent gonna keep them anyways. I'd rather spend less on flowers and more on a photographer. Well I'll post more if I can think anything else hehe.

--Ben

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

Wow, I have to agree that is a lovely dress

I believe for our invitations all I did was send away for one of those books crammed full of different styles (they are loaners) and then order from there (ads in back of bridal type mags I think). If you stay with a classic type it will be less expensive and almost guarantee you will not sort of regret it in the distant future. Doing them yourself sounds like a nice option though.

 

[Ladi]

benchiu - Congrats! Thanks I'll pass on your suggestions to my sister and see what can be done. Are there any &quot;discount&quot; invitation printers out there? I'll definitely make sure to let her know that the price she's seeing in the catalogs is probably not final and maibee she can get those $100 ones she likes.

Yo_Ma-Ma - Thanks for more advice about other places to look for invitations

~Ladi

 

[hippy]

<< so she's having some issues... >>




If that's truly the case, then why is she getting married?

 

[bcterps]

Hmm, my fiancee found an invitation person at a local bridal show. When I talked to her, she told me that she got most of her business through word of mouth first, then bridal shows, and then through a small ad in a local wedding magazine. I would ask friends in the area, maybe they know people who do wedding invitations.

--Ben