My roomate has Autism.

[Thegonagle]

Edited out out of respect to the good advice going on in here and I might be thought to be thread-crapping.

 

[Geekbabe]

Can't speak for your roomie but I can tell you my son has great difficulty taking a learned experience and generalising it to cover other situations, he loves "rules" and thrives in a school I consider very rigid. while one cannot write scripts for all life situations,you can ease your stress and your roomates by being consistant in your expectations of him.

Lots of problems around here ended when I bought a pack of index cards and used them to make lists.I've got one in the bathroom taped near the sink, that outlines his morning grooming routine,there's one in his bedroom that outlines room cleanup and one on the fridge in the kitchen that outlines general household chores, I don't nag or hover anymore, and I don't have to get frustrated because his grooming is poor or he's not flushed the toliet or hung up his wet towel, I just remind him to check his lists.As result,he
feels more independent and is able to take on more and more stuff as time goes on. You might want to sit down with him and write up a couple simple lists of room "rules" including cleaning and such.Watch out though that *you* follow thru on your end though because chances are good that he will notice and will call you on it.

You might also consider speaking privately with his parents or school advisor,they can give you a lot of valuable info.. if this boy is in college he's very high functioning and is probably near genuis in some area !


If you ever need some advice or whatever about the situation,feel free to pm me I'd be glad to help in whatever way I can

 

[bonkers325]

<<

<< I moved into dorms recently. When my roomate moved in, I quickly found him annoying. To speak plainly, he is probably the most obnoxious person I have ever met. When my mom dropped off some stuff I had forgotten at home, she met him and told me later that he had autism (see here for info on it). She isn't a doctor or psycologist, but is a social worker and has worked with people of this sort before. Basically Autism = has no social skills. It is kind of sad actually. He will probably never really make any friends, or get married, or anything like that.

But why oh why do I have to have him as a roomate? I think I am going to move after a term. Luckily the room is big enough that I don't have to be right next to him (some freshman at my school were placed in the better upperclassman dorms because of the large ammount of freshman coming in this year, and I was one).

Anyone else have to deal with someone who has Autism? >>




Yeah, my 14 yr old son


btw, I firmly believe that for high functioning autistics the biggest issue is speech/language.. my son communicates his thoughts very poorly verbally.. buut while checking his AIM and yahoo messenger I discovered that he sounds just like a lot of the guys here and has quite a few friends whom he chats with nightly !! He also rulez on any Dreamcast or Playstation game you can name, has a photgraphic memory and math skills that would make your jaw drop. He also appears incaplbe of deliberately telling a lie

You might try to befriend your roomate, you never know he might be somebody really special ! >>



wow what a boy

 

[bonkers325]

<<

<< It could be worse. You could come back to the dorm one night to find your roomate giving himself a hummer. Now that is some scary SHIZNIT!!! >>



You're rooming with Marilyn Manson? SWEET >>



lol

 

[bonkers325]

<< Oh and I forgot to mention that during his grade school years when other boys were being miserable bullies, my quiet,shy son got real friendly with the girls...well flash forward to the teenage years, gentlemen,my son is a freaking chick magnet !!!! Everywhere we go some girl pops out "Hi Matt" I find phone numbers/email addies all the time while I'm doing his laundry, he's already been asked twice to the upcoming fall dance :Be nice,you may get some of his excess play >>



interesting

 

[xyyz]

ummm... I don't think he's autistic... hes probably really intelligent and super shy... which makes him appear anti-social.

 

[bbqweed]

Well..i worked in a day camp for kids with autism.

What autism is can vary...

-autistic kids percieve the stimulus around them differently than the non-autistic.
for instance, when we speak at a regular volume, they may perceive it as shouting.

-their brain does not properly process stimulus like others would.

another example...one kid just needed someone to pay some attention to them. It is quite difficult as they may all of the sudden break out into a fit of rage....but that's just something we have to deal with.

true, they have special needs, but if you ever are around one...you will learn to appreciate what you have...the simple things that we all take for granted.

So for you roommate,..if he's autistic, then just bare with him. It is a characteristic to be non-social. but then, i'm pretty sure most of his life...he had been somewhat sheltered. So just be glad that you are able to be "normal" and appreciate your situation...who knows...he may be pretty cool after you get to know him...

--Ty

 

[dbcrossfire]

<< << It could be worse. You could come back to the dorm one night to find your roomate giving himself a hummer. Now that is some scary SHIZNIT!!! >> >>







<< Lol, I wouldnt be able to stop laughing >>




i wouldn't be able to stop puking

 

[SackOfAllTrades]

one of my best friends work with autistic children, i picked him up from work once (going to a concert) and saw how rewarding these children can be with the right guidance.

 

[Looney]

It could be worse. You could come back to the dorm one night to find your roomate giving himself a hummer. Now that is some scary SHIZNIT!!!

HEY! How do you know he wasn't cleaning the cheese under his foreskin?

LOL! What did you do? If i saw that, i would probably freak and beat him to a pulp... that's just not right. Could have probably blackmail him for something. I remember one time a friend sent me an ICQ link to some kid that was caught giving himself a hummer... damn, that's just not right.

 

[Looney]

Sh1t... thanks for corrupting my head again.

 

[Gulzakar]

Well, some of these folks are trying to give you a hard time...I won't...I understand how sucky it is to move away from home (security) into something new and big...AND to have what little sanctitiy you have spoiled by someone who has issues (autism or not)... Just bare through it and move out next term. Pity him, be nice to him, but if you don't like him, then don't be friends with him. Everyone here is trying to give you a guilt trip because you are annoyed by someone. It's not like you hate the guy because he's fat or ugly(stupid reasons obviously), you just don't like him because of his personality.

I'd be surprised if someone put an autistic child on his/her own. It doesn't seem very crickett especially when they need some sort of special attention. I bet your roomy is just some normal guy who needs a good slap and told when to shut up

 

[masterxfob]

one of my cousins is a 15 year old autistic and i absolutely just love him! he might not be the greatest with words or expressions but he just says the funniest things and his attitude is just so great, better than that of us "normal" people. there are occasions that he gets annoying but all i need to do is tell him to stop and he understands.

why don't you try to get to know him a little and adjust yourself a bit. everything in this world isn't perfect and this certainly is a great lesson to be had in life. i sure hope that you 'broaden' your way of thinking becuase the world is full of surprises.

also, he may not be autistic at all! he could've had a stroke or some other dibilitating injury, just give him a chance before you do anything rash.

 

[cherrytwist]

<< But why oh why do I have to have him as a roomate? >>




<< Anyone else have to deal with someone who has Autism? >>



Dude, don't be so self-obsessed. Be thankful that you have to "deal" with him instead of being the one that has to "deal" with autism.

It may be difficult to tolerate at times but remember that he has a developmental disability and try to have some patience. If it gets to be too much, take a walk or something.

It's good that you're educated about his condition. I imagine a lot of ppl your age wouldn't even bother trying to understand.

 

[purplehayes]

So for you roommate,..if he's autistic, then just bare with him. - bbqweed

Just bare through it and move out next term. - Gulzakar

It's B-E-A-R, if you bare things with your roommate, you may just find out which way he swings.

PH

 

[datalink7]

Alright. I kind of posted this thread and went to bed, and thought I would see any replies. I kind of recieved a beating, but would like to explain myself somewhat.



<< Anyone else have to deal with someone who has Autism? >>



This was posted by me. Now reading it again, I realize is sound pretty bad. I more meant along the lines "Has anyone else interacted with people with autism? Could you give me any tips on how I should interact with him?"



<< Yup, I for one think you're being very close-minded. We're *all* Americans here, whether we're autistic, Arab or White. Americans all. >>



I am not treating him bad or anything. I have been very nice to him in fact (letting him use my TV, borrow some of my games, answered his questions, etc.). I am not being prejudiced against him. I have just never been around someone with autism, and I can't see myself being friends with him. Believe me, I am one of the nicest guys who will try to get along with anyone. And I know that I'll get along with him. But I was more saying I wish I had a roomate that I could be good friends with, or who at least if not friends would be easy to co-exist with. He is not easy to get along with. Constantly taking my stuff without permission (I am trying to lay some ground rules about this, but we will see if he stops), talking to himself and laughing at his own jokes. And he doesn't respond to normal signals that one would give in a conversations (such as a smile or the nod of your head).



<< Dude, don't be so self-obsessed. Be thankful that you have to "deal" with him instead of being the one that has to "deal" with autism.

It may be difficult to tolerate at times but remember that he has a developmental disability and try to have some patience. If it gets to be too much, take a walk or something.

It's good that you're educated about his condition. I imagine a lot of ppl your age wouldn't even bother trying to understand.
>>



As I said above, the "deal" part came out kind of wrong, and I do apologize for that. And I do take frequent walks (like when he prances about the room singing at the top of his lungs).



Let me rephrase a questions:

Does anyone have any tips for me so that I can get along with this guy better? I would like to have my first year of college be great, and this is putting a bit of a damper on things. If you guys could tell me what I could do to make living with him easier, or even enjoyable, I would be greatly appreciative.

 

[RambleOn]

My 24 year old brother was diagnosed with autism when he was 2 years old. His case is a lot more severe than datalink7's roomate, or baffled2's son. My brother, Matt, is a low-functioning autisitc, which means he doesn't talk (never has), and can't take care of himself for the most part. My mother has to give him a shower, make sure he goes to bed, give him his meds, etc. He has good comprehension skills though, if you ask him to do something that is within reason he can do it. So anyways, my point is that there are all different levels of autism, and not everyone with this condition is like Rainman.

Dan

 

[apoppin]

Yes, I had a roommate that was autistic.

Patience and tolerance is the key.

We actually became good friends. And he even learned social skills.

Definitely lay down ground rules (nicely). Be prepared to repeat them (over and over again).

Remember that he is a person with feelings just like you. Only he sees things differently that we do.

Also, do not let him become dependent on you.

 

[Geekbabe]

<< My 24 year old brother was diagnosed with autism when he was 2 years old. His case is a lot more severe than datalink7's roomate, or baffled2's son. My brother, Matt, is a low-functioning autisitc, which means he doesn't talk (never has), and can't take care of himself for the most part. My mother has to give him a shower, make sure he goes to bed, give him his meds, etc. He has good comprehension skills though, if you ask him to do something that is within reason he can do it. So anyways, my point is that there are all different levels of autism, and not everyone with this condition is like Rainman.

Dan >>



Very True Dan !!! Your mother has my empathy


If this kid is in college though,he's got to be high functioning

 

[Geekbabe]

The walking around singing at the top of his lungs sounds like a self-stimulating behavior,you might wish to read up on those
and ask his parents what works best to limit those.My son's self-stim's include making grunting noises, talking to himself, sitting and repeatatively rubbing the fabric on the legs of his slacks. I haven't eliminated this behaviors but I've been able to get across to him that there are behaviors we reserve for our private time, if he's in his room talking quietly to himself,that's ok.. grunting and running self dialogue in the living room is not,we are to the place where a simple reminder "Matt,you're self stimming" will halt the behavior
in public. Maybe your roomate needs to hear that singing in the shower is ok but not okay in the middle of the room while you are studying.

 

[datalink7]

Though I don't know him too well yet, from what I gather he performs fairly well in school (in terms of tests, homework, etc.), so its not like he is stupid. It is just hard to relate to him at all.

 

[datalink7]

<< The walking around singing at the top of his lungs sounds like a self-stimulating behavior,you might wish to read up on those
and ask his parents what works best to limit those.My son's self-stim's include making grunting noises, talking to himself, sitting and repeatatively rubbing the fabric on the legs of his slacks. I haven't eliminated this behaviors but I've been able to get across to him that there are behaviors we reserve for our private time, if he's in his room talking quietly to himself,that's ok.. grunting and running self dialogue in the living room is not,we are to the place where a simple reminder "Matt,you're self stimming" will halt the behavior
in public. Maybe your roomate needs to hear that singing in the shower is ok but not okay in the middle of the room while you are studying. >>



Alright, that sounds good. He sings in the shower sometimes as well, but that doesn't really bother me. And it is not like he sings all the time.

He does sit on the computer all day and play a MUD. Pretty much all he does. And he talks to himself while doing it occasionally, and laughs quite a bit. I guess as you mentioned because he can relate better through a computer?

Maybe I'll invite him to come to dinner with me tonight and see how that goes.

 

[apoppin]

<< Though I don't know him too well yet, from what I gather he performs fairly well in school (in terms of tests, homework, etc.), so its not like he is stupid. It is just hard to relate to him at all. >>



I imagine he finds it difficult to relate to you. Perhaps it's very difficult for him to relate to you which is why his behavior is more "odd" until he adjusts.

Is this his first year away from his home?

I'd also suggest reading a couple of books on the subject.

 

[datalink7]

<<
I imagine he finds it difficult to relate to you. Perhaps it's very difficult for him to relate to you which is why his behavior is more "odd" until he adjusts.

Is this his first year away from his home?

I'd also suggest reading a couple of books on the subject. >>




Yes, and it is my first year as well. I have bookmarked the Autism Society of America's website and will be reading that.

 

[Geekbabe]

<<

<< The walking around singing at the top of his lungs sounds like a self-stimulating behavior,you might wish to read up on those
and ask his parents what works best to limit those.My son's self-stim's include making grunting noises, talking to himself, sitting and repeatatively rubbing the fabric on the legs of his slacks. I haven't eliminated this behaviors but I've been able to get across to him that there are behaviors we reserve for our private time, if he's in his room talking quietly to himself,that's ok.. grunting and running self dialogue in the living room is not,we are to the place where a simple reminder "Matt,you're self stimming" will halt the behavior
in public. Maybe your roomate needs to hear that singing in the shower is ok but not okay in the middle of the room while you are studying. >>



Alright, that sounds good. He sings in the shower sometimes as well, but that doesn't really bother me. And it is not like he sings all the time.

He does sit on the computer all day and play a MUD. Pretty much all he does. And he talks to himself while doing it occasionally, and laughs quite a bit. I guess as you mentioned because he can relate better through a computer?

Maybe I'll invite him to come to dinner with me tonight and see how that goes. >>




Autism is perplexing... it is believed that those living with it have difficulty tolerating and processing external stimuli..yet they often seek out the stimuli that puts them on overload.

My son does this self-dialoging thing where he acts like a sports commentator,he'll be playing a game and giving a blow by blow report of the action,including refering to himself in the third person.It's like the ultimate fantasy world.

What I've done is to limit the amount of gaming time, his computer is also centrally located and I frequently will look over his shoulder,if I hear him laughing I'll ask him to tell me what's so funny. This has evolved to the point where he will now volunteer
when one of his friends said/did something funny,he will also now ask me to share when he hears me laughing at my desk
while on my computer.We've also put each other on our buddy lists,I will occasionally pop up with a request ,he will often IM me with a wise remark or something humorous.I've tried to turn a solitary pursuit into something more shared with great sucess, he's also a huge WWF fan !

He hangs out on a Sega gaming forum, they have big buddy list and these guys will take a game, each of them will choose a character from that game to "be" then they sit there running "scripts to each other while chatting.it's amazingly creative

My son scored better than 99 % of students nationwide in Advanced mathmatical concepts in his last year's school testing,he thinks he might like a job at Intel or AMD.


At any rate, postive reinforces work far,far better with my son than does negative ,I also have learned to recognise when he's had a really rough day and allow retreat to his room and self stimming without comment on those occasions.