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My ricer revenge!

B

bubbadu

Diamond Member
Well myself and a few buddies today got bored and were looking at the "You might be a rice boy if...." page and thought alot of the points were really funny.... so we went down to the local "rice" shop and taped all 5 pages of ways to tell right on the front door and altered the title a little bit..... i wanna see there faces tomorrow morning when they open up... this place is "NOS refill" center
rolleye.gif
and its prices are just insanely high... and now they have these LOUD commericals on all the time with direct acs controllers "just like in fast and the furious"... waking up to it at 3 in the morning can be quite annoying....

-Bubbadu
 
if i ever quit my job(my store sells ricer parts) i'm gonna post that list up all over the rice aisle, everyone in my department will have a good laugh 🙂
 
lol, those are great. Ive seen some of those on the road just inthe past few days. Especially the camber bs and the 4 brake lights (3rd brake light on wing and window).
 
..........so you went to a ricer shop after they were closed and posted a list on a wall which will probably be taken down by the owners before the shop even opens.

Yeah, you really showed them ricers a thing or two.
rolleye.gif
 
right.. i posted it on the front glass door.. i dont care if they take it down.. i thought it was funny lol

-Bubbadu
 
Some of the things are funny and some are off IMO. I like to lightly modify my cars, but just because I have a Momo wheel (pre-air bag car) and shift knob or PIAA (please add another "A" to PIAA) lights, doesn't mean I'm a ricer.

The Momo wheel and shift knob are comfort items and contact points and enhance your driving experience. The PIAA lights are great! I love being able to see that much better at night. What's a joke is when people put those lame blue bulbs to mimic HID lights. They don't work as well and they are actually worse in inclimate weather. The cheapie impersonations of PIAA quality lights are pathetic as well. What's the point?

I put lower profile tires on to improve handling by having less sidewall on the tire to flex in corners. I lowered the car to improve handling with handling springs and tuned struts. I added a european manifold and full exhaust to improve exhaust flow to let the engine breath better. The car has a nice performance sound now that is just the side effect of having a freer flowing exhaust. It's not about making the car louder by putting a fart can on the end of a stock, restrictive exhaust.


Things get out of hand when people see performance improvements and do it all wrong. Cutting the springs as opposed to putting on a set of springs that are correct for the car is rediculous. The spring rates are all wrong for the car at that point when you cut them and you end up with a worse handling car that rides much rougher. The improved looks of having less tire to fender well clearance are just secondary to having a functionally better handling car.

Don't get me started on the wheels that sit outside of the fender wells, but not under the fender wells themselves. Full race seats or roll cage in a street car? What's the point, especially if you don't even have a harness for it. Ditto on the wings and ground effects packages. They do help when you are going over 100 mph if it's even tuned properly and right for the car, but how often is that possible on the street?

All that sickening add on crap like the Altezza tail lights. Have you ever looked at the quality of those lights up close? The chrome reflector area is horrible.

Anyway.. My point is that just if someone puts a Momo wheel, shift knob, pedals or driving lights on their car, it doesn't make them a ricer. Now.. If it's a hot pink or lime green wheel and shift knob, definitely.. Heh.
 
Wooo ... I dont fit ANY of those qualifications ... Hooray

This one my Favorite
"You see cars like yours in a Shriner's Parade for Children and clowns are driving them. "
 
You see cars like yours in a Shriner's Parade for Children and clowns are driving them.

And the Number One reason you might be a ricer if... (drum roll)....you are a skinny, backwards hat wearing, dog chain wallet, 2 ft wide pants leg, Limp Bizkit looking i love you with a badly applied peroxide hair color treatment!
 
Originally posted by: bubbadu
Well myself and a few buddies today got bored and were looking at the "You might be a rice boy if...." page and thought alot of the points were really funny.... so we went down to the local "rice" shop and taped all 5 pages of ways to tell right on the front door and altered the title a little bit..... i wanna see there faces tomorrow morning when they open up... this place is "NOS refill" center
rolleye.gif
and its prices are just insanely high... and now they have these LOUD commericals on all the time with direct acs controllers "just like in fast and the furious"... waking up to it at 3 in the morning can be quite annoying....

-Bubbadu
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haha

 
wait, i used to have a dog chain wallet and wear 2 feet wide pants...does that make me a ricer considering i dont have a car?
 
Heh, I had to convince a ricer that I didn't want his slicks that wouldn't fit in his car. They were 24x8.5-14, the stock tire on my Dakota is 255/65R16 (about 29x8.5-16). This makes my stock tire bigger, and I'd have to buy a 14" rim for a Dakota (6 lug, 4.5" centers) which might not exist. At one time he wanted me to put 24" rims on my Dakota. What ever happened to having good sidewall porportions? (And why did BFG stop making the 315/55R16 Sport Truck T/A?!)

The biggest thing that bothers me though is how "intake" no longer means "intake manifold". The best an "intake" can get you is 20HP MAX, and that assumes you start with 300HP and a very restrictive intake and go to a ram air arrangement. An intake manifold can change your engine's power curve signifigantly though.


...and who the fsck pays $830 for a valve cover then $45 for an oil filler cap just because it says "Mugen"?! (or $2200 for a "high volume" radiator for a Civic)

Edit: Yes, I know slicks have a different compound, but I'd rather get 29x9.50-15's which might be cheaper because they're more common. (and the rims exist)
 
Originally posted by: Demon-Xanth
Heh, I had to convince a ricer that I didn't want his slicks that wouldn't fit in his car. They were 24x8.5-14, the stock tire on my Dakota is 255/65R16 (about 29x8.5-16). This makes my stock tire bigger, and I'd have to buy a 14" rim for a Dakota (6 lug, 4.5" centers) which might not exist. At one time he wanted me to put 24" rims on my Dakota. What ever happened to having good sidewall porportions? (And why did BFG stop making the 315/55R16 Sport Truck T/A?!)

The biggest thing that bothers me though is how "intake" no longer means "intake manifold". The best an "intake" can get you is 20HP MAX, and that assumes you start with 300HP and a very restrictive intake and go to a ram air arrangement. An intake manifold can change your engine's power curve signifigantly though.
Actually, the funny thing is, the best an "intake" can give you in an NA engine would most likely be 3-5 HP, and that's pushing it. The stock intake manifold, (for Honda Lovers) is actually designed very well from the start for efficient flow. If a "ricer" were to buy an intake manifold from the start, he'd might actually lose horsepower because of the change in flow that an aftermarket manifold creates with no other changes made to optimize for a larger flow.

Oh yeh, (for all you rice haters) Honda makes bulletproof engines (stock) which can take extreme conditions and not blow apart like poorly made American Engines. Any serious American Car tuner knows that engine work has to be done before they can bolt on a turbocharger/supercharger/nitrous. That's why GM signed a contract with Honda to make their new engines.
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