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My personal problem... (gf related)

J

jcballer1

Senior member
Well here it is,

I have a friend. He is one of the best people that ever walked the earth. Recently, his girlfriend and him broke up. So the situation is this: she believes that her parents are so adamant about their wishes for her and her future husband that she is only good for a doctor. She said that the reason why they HAD to break up was the fact that he will not be a doctor, so thus her parents won't like him. Because she does not have the preverbial "balls" to go against her parents, she broke up and hooked up with this guy that will be a pharmacist. She swears up and down that they are not hooked up (and so does he) but you have to be an idiot to not see it. Now my beef with her: We used to be good friends while she was hooked up but now I hate her. Why? because she exemplifies everything that I am against. First and foremost, that she can believe one thing so strongly (ie, her relationship with my friends and her belief in a simple non-material life) and just throw it away at a whim. Because of this, I have been recently calling her a whooore and I feel bad about it so I came up with multiple solutions:

1) Call her and tell her what I think about her and her actions, beliefs, etc. and just stop calling her names. I would tell her that she is whacked and let her know that I am not down with her but still apologize for the name calling and offer her advice about what I believe she should do.

2) Call her and apologize for what I said and forget her all together and never acknowlwdge her existancce.

3) 2 + harrass that new boyfriend of hers and beat the hell out of him for screwing around with my firend and his business.

I will entertain any thoughts you guys might have for me. What should I do??
 
if she broke up with your friend over that, then i would have to say she really didnt have any feelings for your friend, and she needed an excuse to break up with him.
 
Option #4 - She is not worth you time or your friends time!

If a relationship is based on something as shallow as career, it will not last anyway. At some point she will
figure that out. Maybe after her first divorce...
 
It sounds like her parents have a lot of influence over her. Not surprising for one so young. What is disturbing is that she should be out there making her OWN life. Why doesn't she become a doctor or pharmacist etc.??

The parents belief that she "needs" a man for her to be successful undermines her self-confidence and self-esteem. It does not make her a whore but is typical of the way woman are treated in society. Get a rich man and all will be well. She should be improving herself for her own sake, not to entice a well-off guy to taking pity on her and being her provider. This is a very old-world mentality and likely not to end up a happy marriage.

Now as a friend you should not have called her a whore. She is not. I would apologoze and try to encourage her to think of herself as having the power to succeed without being "rescued" by a man. She will be better off in the long run.
 
ya know, its none of your business really, unless you an your friend are really good buddies, if he's over her, you should forget her too. don't hafta f with the new guy, or her.
 
I vote for one, just make sure you try to do in a non-judgemental and non-agressive manner. Calmly explain to her how you feel and then let her know, it's her life, her decision, that you just had to get it off your chest. Make sure it doesn't escalate into an argument. if she gets argumentative, tell her (again calmly) that she's not up to this converstaion and that you'll talk to her later. Then gently hang up.
 
UPDATE---
i have contacted this woman and told her i meant no harm and i do not hate her, but i hate her actions and thoughts
 
yep, sounds pretty shallow and down rite a doll w/ no minds of her own.. Gee.. ultimately it's HER live that she'll have to live, why does she have to care about what her parents think about such serious thing?

This girl needs to change her attatude aobut life.
 
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