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My Mom has cancer

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rose.gif
🙁
 
Originally posted by: iamwiz82
I dont normally post extremely personal things here, but i'm pretty worked up over this.

For well over a year, my Mom has been complaining of different gastrointestinal issues. We would all ask her to go to the doctor just to be safe, but she has a fear of doctors and their tendancy for bad news with my family. She had also witnessed my Grandparents fairly poor cancer treatment in the early 70s. Her sister also passed away from it many years before I was born.

So a few weeks ago it became unbearable for her, so she went. After some tests and such they sent her to get a colonoscopy. The results came in today, it's probably cancerous. 🙁 It's a mass about 12cm long. They attached a picture of it and it doesn't look nearly that long from the camera, but I'm not a doctor.

We visited them today and my Mom is handling it ok, but my Dad is a wreck. I'm going with them tomorrow for the ultrasound to determine if it's spread. I feel so freaking helpless right now and it's driving me crazy. She's blaming herself for not going to the doctor, my Dad is asking why they had to find anything, it's just terrible.

------------------------------------------------

EDIT - 9/29:

Well, things are looking pretty grim. We have difinitive diagnosis that the colon cancer is at least stage 3, and meetings with the surgeon and Oncologist that lead us to believe spread to at least her liver 🙁. We won't know until the Biopsy, but the urgency in the Oncologist's demands leads me to believe he is very concerned. He has ordered a whole host of tests to be done ASAP, 6 to be completed by next Wednesday. We've begun to investigate homeopathic remedies as well, something I would have laughed off 6 months ago.

She's also becoming very depressed. Her physician gave her a script for Xanax which has helped, but the change since her diagnosis makes me incredibly sad, she's whithering away so quickly.
Click to expand...
🙁

Comes the time when you have to try and separate what the prognosis actually is and if it's worth it to put her through treatment that will only make her ill for her final days/months.

If it has spread to her liver I don't hold out much hope. Sorry if that sounds cruel, but I am talking from experience and from reality.

You know what I've always wished I had had my father do before he died was fill out a legacy book. It might make your mother feel better that she will provide memories and information about her younger life for her family for when she is no longer here. I dunno, just a thought. My friend's father filled one out and we all gathered after his recent passing to read about how he met my friend's mother, what it was like for him growing up, and things like that. Really interesting, and definitely makes you feel like he is still in our presence. Your Dad could fill out a book just the same.

Maybe it would lead to some reminiscing between your mother and father and some happy thoughts about the good times they've had.

Product Description
This father's memory journal takes you on a journey that will become a cherished family memoir. Designed in a 12-month format, each month features 12 intriguing questions with space to write a personal answer. Questions explore family history, childhood memories, lighthearted incidents, cherished traditions, and the dreams and spiritual adventures encountered in a lifetime of living. His written words become windows to a father's heart.
Click to expand...
father's legacy book
http://www.amazon.com/Fathers-...4113320/ref=pd_sim_b_4

mother's legacy book
http://www.amazon.com/Reflecti...9990033/ref=pd_sim_b_5

 
I'm so sorry man. I wish I could say I can't imagine how it is, but I can🙁
Be gentle with yourselves and take good care.
 
OP, I am so sorry to hear about your mother's situation. I lost both my parents to the disease. My mother died of brain cancer while I lost my father to (at least partially) the effects of multiple myeloma (cancer of the red blood cells).

Nothing I say will prepare you for what lies ahead. The only thing that comes to mind is that I wish you and your family peace.
 
Update:

It's been a busy few weeks. On Wednesday we visited the oncologist to discuss her test results. The cancer has metastized to the liver, but no where else. There is also no other cancer sites throughout the body. The doctor said that the tests were about the best results we could have hoped for, short of benign growths in the liver. He has decided to start her on chemotherapy ASAP, followed by surgery to remove all the tumors (3 total, 1 in colon, 2 in liver) at once.

Today she got her Port-o-cath installed to prep for chemo, with her first treatment starting Monday.
 
I lost my mom like 6 weeks after she was diagnosed with colon cancer. God I still miss her. OP, PLEASE spend as much quality time as you can with her.

I have a colonoscopy consult next week.
 
Originally posted by: iamwiz82
I dont normally post extremely personal things here, but i'm pretty worked up over this.

For well over a year, my Mom has been complaining of different gastrointestinal issues. We would all ask her to go to the doctor just to be safe, but she has a fear of doctors and their tendancy for bad news with my family. She had also witnessed my Grandparents fairly poor cancer treatment in the early 70s. Her sister also passed away from it many years before I was born.

So a few weeks ago it became unbearable for her, so she went. After some tests and such they sent her to get a colonoscopy. The results came in today, it's probably cancerous. 🙁 It's a mass about 12cm long. They attached a picture of it and it doesn't look nearly that long from the camera, but I'm not a doctor.

We visited them today and my Mom is handling it ok, but my Dad is a wreck. I'm going with them tomorrow for the ultrasound to determine if it's spread. I feel so freaking helpless right now and it's driving me crazy. She's blaming herself for not going to the doctor, my Dad is asking why they had to find anything, it's just terrible.

------------------------------------------------

EDIT - 9/29:

Well, things are looking pretty grim. We have difinitive diagnosis that the colon cancer is at least stage 3, and meetings with the surgeon and Oncologist that lead us to believe spread to at least her liver 🙁. We won't know until the Biopsy, but the urgency in the Oncologist's demands leads me to believe he is very concerned. He has ordered a whole host of tests to be done ASAP, 6 to be completed by next Wednesday. We've begun to investigate homeopathic remedies as well, something I would have laughed off 6 months ago.

She's also becoming very depressed. Her physician gave her a script for Xanax which has helped, but the change since her diagnosis makes me incredibly sad, she's whithering away so quickly.

------------------------------------------------

EDIT - 10/9:

It's been a busy few weeks. On Wednesday we visited the oncologist to discuss her test results. The cancer has metastized to the liver, but no where else. There is also no other cancer sites throughout the body. The doctor said that the tests were about the best results we could have hoped for, short of benign growths in the liver. He has decided to start her on chemotherapy ASAP, followed by surgery to remove all the tumors (3 total, 1 in colon, 2 in liver) at once.

Today she got her Port-o-cath installed to prep for chemo, with her first treatment starting Monday.
Click to expand...



Good luck to your mom, and give her as much support as you can possibly give her. talk to her as much as you possibly can about anything and everything.
 
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: iamwiz82
I dont normally post extremely personal things here, but i'm pretty worked up over this.

For well over a year, my Mom has been complaining of different gastrointestinal issues. We would all ask her to go to the doctor just to be safe, but she has a fear of doctors and their tendancy for bad news with my family. She had also witnessed my Grandparents fairly poor cancer treatment in the early 70s. Her sister also passed away from it many years before I was born.

So a few weeks ago it became unbearable for her, so she went. After some tests and such they sent her to get a colonoscopy. The results came in today, it's probably cancerous. 🙁 It's a mass about 12cm long. They attached a picture of it and it doesn't look nearly that long from the camera, but I'm not a doctor.

We visited them today and my Mom is handling it ok, but my Dad is a wreck. I'm going with them tomorrow for the ultrasound to determine if it's spread. I feel so freaking helpless right now and it's driving me crazy. She's blaming herself for not going to the doctor, my Dad is asking why they had to find anything, it's just terrible.

------------------------------------------------

EDIT - 9/29:

Well, things are looking pretty grim. We have difinitive diagnosis that the colon cancer is at least stage 3, and meetings with the surgeon and Oncologist that lead us to believe spread to at least her liver 🙁. We won't know until the Biopsy, but the urgency in the Oncologist's demands leads me to believe he is very concerned. He has ordered a whole host of tests to be done ASAP, 6 to be completed by next Wednesday. We've begun to investigate homeopathic remedies as well, something I would have laughed off 6 months ago.

She's also becoming very depressed. Her physician gave her a script for Xanax which has helped, but the change since her diagnosis makes me incredibly sad, she's whithering away so quickly.
Click to expand...
🙁

Comes the time when you have to try and separate what the prognosis actually is and if it's worth it to put her through treatment that will only make her ill for her final days/months.

If it has spread to her liver I don't hold out much hope. Sorry if that sounds cruel, but I am talking from experience and from reality.

You know what I've always wished I had had my father do before he died was fill out a legacy book. It might make your mother feel better that she will provide memories and information about her younger life for her family for when she is no longer here. I dunno, just a thought. My friend's father filled one out and we all gathered after his recent passing to read about how he met my friend's mother, what it was like for him growing up, and things like that. Really interesting, and definitely makes you feel like he is still in our presence. Your Dad could fill out a book just the same.

Maybe it would lead to some reminiscing between your mother and father and some happy thoughts about the good times they've had.

Product Description
This father's memory journal takes you on a journey that will become a cherished family memoir. Designed in a 12-month format, each month features 12 intriguing questions with space to write a personal answer. Questions explore family history, childhood memories, lighthearted incidents, cherished traditions, and the dreams and spiritual adventures encountered in a lifetime of living. His written words become windows to a father's heart.
Click to expand...
father's legacy book
http://www.amazon.com/Fathers-...4113320/ref=pd_sim_b_4

mother's legacy book
http://www.amazon.com/Reflecti...9990033/ref=pd_sim_b_5
Click to expand...



Going from being newly dignosed to urging Wiz's Mom to forego treatment because it might make her ill during her "final days" and requesting that she start writing a memory book is a little premature OMHO.

Iamwiz, I am so sorry to hear this news, I know that you and your lovely wife will be a great comfort and support to your parents as your Mom begins treatment.
 
EDIT - 2/11/10

Today was the day of surgery. Everyone got there at 7:30, my Mom was prepped and we stayed with her until they wheeled here away (11:30am, scheduled for 9:30am :/). We then spent 8 tense hours waiting, occassionally updates flowed from the OR, but not enough, of course. We finally got to see her at 7:15pm. She was groggy, but fiesty, which was a good sign for us.

The surgery included: a permanent colostomy (she is angry about this one, but the alternative was a coffin, so she dealt), the remove of her rectum and about 4" of lower intestine, a few lymph nodes removed, complete removal of the left lobe of the liver, and radio ablastation of a small spot on the right side of her liver. Both sets of doctors said that things went perfectly with no complications. Speaking of doctors, there were two liver docs, two colorectal docs, plus a resident for each one of those, along with anestesiologist <sp?>, his nurse, and the nurse for each doctor, plus the standard nurses. It was a full house 😀.

Overall, I am happy she is still here and still being somewhat difficult. She told one of the docs that if he killed her she would come back to haunt him. 😀😱.

Now it's time for recovery. We have heard 5-7 days in the hospital so far.
 
moshquerade said:
🙁



If it has spread to her liver I don't hold out much hope. Sorry if that sounds cruel, but I am talking from experience and from reality.
Click to expand...

Bull. Many patients still do well.

A couple liver metastases still are treatable. A grueling course of chemotherapy and then cross your fingers and hope for the best.

Sounds like the OP's mother received standard care from the team of surgeons.

OP, good luck to you and your family.
 
iliopsoas said:
Bull. Many patients still do well.

A couple liver metastases still are treatable. A grueling course of chemotherapy and then cross your fingers and hope for the best.

Sounds like the OP's mother received standard care from the team of surgeons.

OP, good luck to you and your family.
Click to expand...

I dont think Mosh was too far off. The colorectal doctor said that 5 years ago their prognosis would have been very, very grim. That is just crazy to me, had this been 2005 things could be completely different?🙁
 
Glad to hear she is doing well. As far as the colostomy is concerned...I had to have one for about 7 months (read here). It may take a little while to get used too and obviously isn't the optimal situation, but she will feel so much better. It will certainly not hold her back from doing anything she would be able to do otherwise (except poop of course 😉)
 
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