I am really a long time forum member with over 2500 posts, but I was too humiliated to even post under my real name.
My wife of 16 years told me two months ago that she was in love with another man.
I went through anger, pain, numbness, denial and every other emotion that brings a human being down.
I am so bummed I am having a hard time keeping it together. I have gotten professional counseling to try and deal with this, but some days just seem overwhelming. I haven't gotten as low as thinking about taking my own life, we have two wonderful children and a business to run, so I guess things could be worse.
Our marriage had ups and downs, but overall I thought it was going good. WRONG! I guess my significant other was not very happy. As I look back now I can see that she complained at various times, but since I thought everything was "just fine", I was not a good listener.
I will still defend her and say she is a good person, she says that she wishes all of this did not happen, but her feelings for "him" are two strong for her to turn back. I have to take some of the blame for not being there for her, even when she was trying to tell me.
She is drop dead gorgeous, and until recently we always had a wonderful sex life (or so I thought). I accused her of being in love with the other guy about a month before she told me. I wasn't born yesterday, I knew something was happening and stooped as low as spying on her and hacking her pc, chat and emails. I approached her and asked her to tell the truth, which she denied, until I layed the evidence down. She then confessed, but said she wasn't 100% sure what to do and still wanted to try and work things out.
Well, she wasn't willing to give "him" up so needless to say things just got worse. She cares about me like a family pet I guess, and is concerned about my depression. I moved out of the bedroom last month, and now in the last week she can't even give me a small peck kiss. I am a second class citizen, an outcast in my own house, this really sucks bad.
The real kick in the face is this is an online affair, she hasn't ever met him in person. The talk via e-mail chat and a few times on the phone. Make no mistake about it, the evidence I hacked from her shows that they are clearly "in love", it is sickeningly sweet and they constantly discuss how strong their feelings are for each other.
Anyone with some kind words would be greatly apprecitated, talking about this might help some.
But what I am really looking for is someone (female) that has been in a similar situation or needs somebody to talk to. I know this sounds pathetic, but my friends have tried to get me to date, but I am just not ready. I am desperately lonely and a friendly female touch to talk to me and help me through this would be a godsend.
I am 43 years old and my friends and family tell me that I still look 30, but I need someone mature to talk to. I am not interested in any porn freaks, just a real friendship online via chat, someone to depend on. I am a good listener also, and helping other people with their problems would help me too.
If there are any mature females out there that want to help, just PM me and we can strike up a meaningful conversation.
I know alot of you are gonna flame me and make fun, but at this point I have nothing to lose or hope for. I know things will get better with time, they always do. But in the meantime my burden feels just to heavy to carry, I need a sincere online friend to help carry the load.
UPDATE! OMG, I can't believe it!!!!!! She told him today that she couldn't communicate with him ever again. I can't believe it. We tried to have a civilized discussion that included the children last night about the whole situation. She also read this post and saw an overwhelming opinion that might have influenced her.
She is committed to going to counseling and working things out! She promised my children and I that she would stick to her decision.
Oh thank god, my families' prayers have been answered. I know there is a lot of work that has to be done. I also know that I have a responsibility to work together and fix the reason why my wife was so unhappy in the first place. Thank god I have a second chance to get it right! She is pretty upset, and regardless of the reason I will stand behind her and be there for her.
Thanks again everybody, I will make a new post in a few months and let everyone know how progress is going.
My wife of 16 years told me two months ago that she was in love with another man.
I went through anger, pain, numbness, denial and every other emotion that brings a human being down.
I am so bummed I am having a hard time keeping it together. I have gotten professional counseling to try and deal with this, but some days just seem overwhelming. I haven't gotten as low as thinking about taking my own life, we have two wonderful children and a business to run, so I guess things could be worse.
Our marriage had ups and downs, but overall I thought it was going good. WRONG! I guess my significant other was not very happy. As I look back now I can see that she complained at various times, but since I thought everything was "just fine", I was not a good listener.
I will still defend her and say she is a good person, she says that she wishes all of this did not happen, but her feelings for "him" are two strong for her to turn back. I have to take some of the blame for not being there for her, even when she was trying to tell me.
She is drop dead gorgeous, and until recently we always had a wonderful sex life (or so I thought). I accused her of being in love with the other guy about a month before she told me. I wasn't born yesterday, I knew something was happening and stooped as low as spying on her and hacking her pc, chat and emails. I approached her and asked her to tell the truth, which she denied, until I layed the evidence down. She then confessed, but said she wasn't 100% sure what to do and still wanted to try and work things out.
Well, she wasn't willing to give "him" up so needless to say things just got worse. She cares about me like a family pet I guess, and is concerned about my depression. I moved out of the bedroom last month, and now in the last week she can't even give me a small peck kiss. I am a second class citizen, an outcast in my own house, this really sucks bad.
The real kick in the face is this is an online affair, she hasn't ever met him in person. The talk via e-mail chat and a few times on the phone. Make no mistake about it, the evidence I hacked from her shows that they are clearly "in love", it is sickeningly sweet and they constantly discuss how strong their feelings are for each other.
Anyone with some kind words would be greatly apprecitated, talking about this might help some.
But what I am really looking for is someone (female) that has been in a similar situation or needs somebody to talk to. I know this sounds pathetic, but my friends have tried to get me to date, but I am just not ready. I am desperately lonely and a friendly female touch to talk to me and help me through this would be a godsend.
I am 43 years old and my friends and family tell me that I still look 30, but I need someone mature to talk to. I am not interested in any porn freaks, just a real friendship online via chat, someone to depend on. I am a good listener also, and helping other people with their problems would help me too.
If there are any mature females out there that want to help, just PM me and we can strike up a meaningful conversation.
I know alot of you are gonna flame me and make fun, but at this point I have nothing to lose or hope for. I know things will get better with time, they always do. But in the meantime my burden feels just to heavy to carry, I need a sincere online friend to help carry the load.
UPDATE! OMG, I can't believe it!!!!!! She told him today that she couldn't communicate with him ever again. I can't believe it. We tried to have a civilized discussion that included the children last night about the whole situation. She also read this post and saw an overwhelming opinion that might have influenced her.
She is committed to going to counseling and working things out! She promised my children and I that she would stick to her decision.
Oh thank god, my families' prayers have been answered. I know there is a lot of work that has to be done. I also know that I have a responsibility to work together and fix the reason why my wife was so unhappy in the first place. Thank god I have a second chance to get it right! She is pretty upset, and regardless of the reason I will stand behind her and be there for her.
Thanks again everybody, I will make a new post in a few months and let everyone know how progress is going.
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