My marriage of 16 years is over, this sucks! UPDATE!

[Lobstar]

dump her

 

[AMDZen]

I know this is post-update, and all that. So feel free to bypass what I have to say.

But your marriage is still in trouble. I realize that you know that, but this whole thing leads me to believe that she is looking for someone else - who is to say she won't go back to this guy (if its even a guy), or maybe someone else?

I don't want to burden you again, after getting your mind eased a bit - but you should not let your guard down. Obviously I don't know you or your wife, but now may be a good time to think about divorce.

The fact is that she was willing to throw everything away for someone she hasn't even met. That so called "guy" on the other end of her conversations, could have been a 21 yo kid. It could have been an 80 yo women. You just don't know until you meet, pictures don't mean anything either - they could be of anyone.

I honestly wish you all the best in the world. I hope that she is the women you love and that she comes to realize the same thing about you, again. I really do.

But I have had a friend of mine go through something similar. This friend marries a girl, 2 years later he finds out through email that she was having an affair. They work things out, whatever, everything is fine again. Except later they still end up getting a divorce, and guess what - she says its just because she's unhappy and blames everything on him. Later, in court - she gets everything. Typical female biased "judgement" is passed down, and like I said - he gets screwed. All of the affair talk was thrown out of court because there was no longer any proof.

I'm not saying your case is the same, she may be honest when she says she never met him. But the fact is that you have evidence, now - that will help you keep your sanity if divorce does come. That way you don't lose everything because she did something that was the true cause of ending the marriage.

Like I said, I don't mean to get you down. Just some food for thought. Best of luck with your future !!!!!!

 

[akubi]

I'd have to agree with most of the negative comments. Unless she makes a LOT more money than you, or you have really low self-esteem, I can't imagine why you'd be so forgiving. I also think your kids (if they are old enough) would lose a lot of respect for you if you hold on to this tainted marriage like some sort of a loser. Sorry if that came out harsh, but your wife deserves to burn in hell. Kick the bitch out... don't bother with "revenge" and silly mind games. Just erase her and move on.

 

[Kasper4christ]

Congrats!

 

[Armitage]

Originally posted by: AMDZen
I know this is post-update, and all that. So feel free to bypass what I have to say.

But your marriage is still in trouble. I realize that you know that, but this whole thing leads me to believe that she is looking for someone else - who is to say she won't go back to this guy (if its even a guy), or maybe someone else?

I don't want to burden you again, after getting your mind eased a bit - but you should not let your guard down. Obviously I don't know you or your wife, but now may be a good time to think about divorce.

The fact is that she was willing to throw everything away for someone she hasn't even met. That so called "guy" on the other end of her conversations, could have been a 21 yo kid. It could have been an 80 yo women. You just don't know until you meet, pictures don't mean anything either - they could be of anyone.

I honestly wish you all the best in the world. I hope that she is the women you love and that she comes to realize the same thing about you, again. I really do.

But I have had a friend of mine go through something similar. This friend marries a girl, 2 years later he finds out through email that she was having an affair. They work things out, whatever, everything is fine again. Except later they still end up getting a divorce, and guess what - she says its just because she's unhappy and blames everything on him. Later, in court - she gets everything. Typical female biased "judgement" is passed down, and like I said - he gets screwed. All of the affair talk was thrown out of court because there was no longer any proof.

I'm not saying your case is the same, she may be honest when she says she never met him. But the fact is that you have evidence, now - that will help you keep your sanity if divorce does come. That way you don't lose everything because she did something that was the true cause of ending the marriage.

Most states are "no-fault" now. Doesn't matter one bit what the other half was doing with regard to affairs/infidelity/etc.

Like I said, I don't mean to get you down. Just some food for thought. Best of luck with your future !!!!!!

 

[Koing]

GREAT news dude!

Koing

 

[Sex Smurf]

Good Luck. I hope she eventually earns your trust back.

 

[Armitage]

Originally posted by: akubi
I'd have to agree with most of the negative comments. Unless she makes a LOT more money than you, or you have really low self-esteem, I can't imagine why you'd be so forgiving. I also think your kids (if they are old enough) would lose a lot of respect for you if you hold on to this tainted marriage like some sort of a loser. Sorry if that came out harsh, but your wife deserves to burn in hell. Kick the bitch out... don't bother with "revenge" and silly mind games. Just erase her and move on.

:roll: you know, people fvck up sometimes.

A 16+ year relationship & kids deserves every attempt to reconcile & move on - and many people have recovered from worse. This isn't just some high school romance gone bad. It's going to be difficult, and the outcome uncertain - no doubt about it. But I've been down the other path, and it's hard to see how it could be worse then that.

 

[Miramonti]

a) great to hear it. :thumbsup:

b) still watch the money, just in case. 😉

c) forgive means forgive. good luck, won't be easy!

d) keep an eye out and lock doors at night, in case she gave out personal info to 3rd party and that person chooses to not give up so easy.

 

[SurgicalShark]

OP you are a jackass...don't loose your mancard now...and remember she has a second chance...because you never fell from being a good guy and a man...

you are man now act like one! :|

 

[tk149]

Good luck to you!

ATOT wisdom >> **

 

[shilala]

Glad to hear it's worked out.
Don't think it's going to be a bed of roses. She's going to need to change her way of thinking. You're going to have to be more sensitive to her needs.
Don't skimp on the counseling, the more you can get the faster it takes. Don't stick with a "yes man", either. If a counselor won't come straight out and tell you your fvcked in the head, they aren't worth the money you're paying them.
Good Luck to you two, I hope all turns out well!!! 🙂

 

[Yax]

After the counseling if over, cheat on her and when you really find the right woman, dump her assk.

 

[nissan720]

All I can say is God Speed and Good Luck!

 

[AMDZen]

Originally posted by: Armitage

Originally posted by: AMDZen
I know this is post-update, and all that. So feel free to bypass what I have to say.

But your marriage is still in trouble. I realize that you know that, but this whole thing leads me to believe that she is looking for someone else - who is to say she won't go back to this guy (if its even a guy), or maybe someone else?

I don't want to burden you again, after getting your mind eased a bit - but you should not let your guard down. Obviously I don't know you or your wife, but now may be a good time to think about divorce.

The fact is that she was willing to throw everything away for someone she hasn't even met. That so called "guy" on the other end of her conversations, could have been a 21 yo kid. It could have been an 80 yo women. You just don't know until you meet, pictures don't mean anything either - they could be of anyone.

I honestly wish you all the best in the world. I hope that she is the women you love and that she comes to realize the same thing about you, again. I really do.

But I have had a friend of mine go through something similar. This friend marries a girl, 2 years later he finds out through email that she was having an affair. They work things out, whatever, everything is fine again. Except later they still end up getting a divorce, and guess what - she says its just because she's unhappy and blames everything on him. Later, in court - she gets everything. Typical female biased "judgement" is passed down, and like I said - he gets screwed. All of the affair talk was thrown out of court because there was no longer any proof.

I'm not saying your case is the same, she may be honest when she says she never met him. But the fact is that you have evidence, now - that will help you keep your sanity if divorce does come. That way you don't lose everything because she did something that was the true cause of ending the marriage.

Most states are "no-fault" now. Doesn't matter one bit what the other half was doing with regard to affairs/infidelity/etc.

Like I said, I don't mean to get you down. Just some food for thought. Best of luck with your future !!!!!!

Are you frickin' kidding me?? So it doesn't matter if a women cheats on the man, and thats the reason why he wants a divorce?? The women will still get the typical preferencial treatment??

I am definetely not getting married. What is this world coming to?

 

[Armitage]

Originally posted by: AMDZen

Originally posted by: Armitage

Originally posted by: AMDZen
I know this is post-update, and all that. So feel free to bypass what I have to say.

But your marriage is still in trouble. I realize that you know that, but this whole thing leads me to believe that she is looking for someone else - who is to say she won't go back to this guy (if its even a guy), or maybe someone else?

I don't want to burden you again, after getting your mind eased a bit - but you should not let your guard down. Obviously I don't know you or your wife, but now may be a good time to think about divorce.

The fact is that she was willing to throw everything away for someone she hasn't even met. That so called "guy" on the other end of her conversations, could have been a 21 yo kid. It could have been an 80 yo women. You just don't know until you meet, pictures don't mean anything either - they could be of anyone.

I honestly wish you all the best in the world. I hope that she is the women you love and that she comes to realize the same thing about you, again. I really do.

But I have had a friend of mine go through something similar. This friend marries a girl, 2 years later he finds out through email that she was having an affair. They work things out, whatever, everything is fine again. Except later they still end up getting a divorce, and guess what - she says its just because she's unhappy and blames everything on him. Later, in court - she gets everything. Typical female biased "judgement" is passed down, and like I said - he gets screwed. All of the affair talk was thrown out of court because there was no longer any proof.

I'm not saying your case is the same, she may be honest when she says she never met him. But the fact is that you have evidence, now - that will help you keep your sanity if divorce does come. That way you don't lose everything because she did something that was the true cause of ending the marriage.

Most states are "no-fault" now. Doesn't matter one bit what the other half was doing with regard to affairs/infidelity/etc.

Like I said, I don't mean to get you down. Just some food for thought. Best of luck with your future !!!!!!

Are you frickin' kidding me?? So it doesn't matter if a women cheats on the man, and thats the reason why he wants a divorce?? The women will still get the typical preferencial treatment??

Absolutely not kidding.

I am definetely not getting married. What is this world coming to?

Cohabitating will get you the same deal - after a few years, it's considered a "common law" marriage subject to the same kind of division of assets, support, etc.

Remind me again why homosexuals want to be able to get married?

 

[overclock]

I have a friend whose hubby left her on thanksgiving day one year for a fat biotch. Oh, I forgot, a fat UGLY biotch. He was older than her and he went decrepid one day and now she (the biotch that is) cheats on him like crazy. Poetic justice.

 

[tooltime]

i'm happy things are going the way you want them to. time is one of the healers, and it allows you to make good choices during that time too...hope it works your way

 

[digitalsm]

Originally posted by: CPA

Originally posted by: Yossarian
marriage is ending. husband posts on ATOT. wife reads, changes mind, marriage is saved. I declare shens^1000.

I'm leaning this way myself.

Either that or the wifey is wacked in the head.

Most women are irrational, which typically displays itself as being wacked in the head. So...

 

[Schrodinger]

Originally posted by: Armitage

Originally posted by: AMDZen
Are you frickin' kidding me?? So it doesn't matter if a women cheats on the man, and thats the reason why he wants a divorce?? The women will still get the typical preferencial treatment??

Absolutely not kidding.

He is right. Infidelity is now considered "normal" in the courts. It has no bearing on the outcome, sadly.

 

[JEDI]

The real kick in the face is this is an online affair, she hasn't ever met him in person. The talk via e-mail chat and a few times on the phone. Make no mistake about it, the evidence I hacked from her shows that they are clearly "in love", it is sickeningly sweet and they constantly discuss how strong their feelings are for each other.

wtf?! flushing 16 years down the drain and never even meeting the guy in person?!

some serious issues there...

 

[user1234]

Originally posted by: JEDI

The real kick in the face is this is an online affair, she hasn't ever met him in person. The talk via e-mail chat and a few times on the phone. Make no mistake about it, the evidence I hacked from her shows that they are clearly "in love", it is sickeningly sweet and they constantly discuss how strong their feelings are for each other.

wtf?! flushing 16 years down the drain and never even meeting the guy in person?!

some serious issues there...

that's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard (I mean the OP's story)

 

[desiplaya4life]

AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!

 

[user1234]

"Desparate" should be banned as he admittedly posted this under a spoofed alias instead ofhis real one. Anyone falling for this ridivulous tale is a moron.

 

[kinev]

Originally posted by: user1234
"Desparate" should be banned as he admittedly posted this under a spoofed alias instead ofhis real one. Anyone falling for this ridivulous tale is a moron.

Well, the likelyhood of shens is high, as I already said. His story doesn't really make sense.