My Idea of a All Around Real Woman

[QueBert]

She also drinks beer and smokes cigars, Salma's fucking awesome. A 3 some with her and Alisha Tyler would probably cause me to have a heart attack.

Alisha drinks beer, smokes cigars, reads comics and is a big time gamer, unf!

 

[madoka]

She also drinks beer and smokes cigars, Salma's fucking awesome.

Maybe Selma is secretly a man?

 

[chimaxi83]

Maybe Selma is secretly a man?

10/10

Would smash

 

[schneiderguy]

Is it weird that the faint stretch marks on her tits give me insta-wood?

They make me want to barf. Fucking gross man.

 

[Lyfer]

Cagney Lynn Carter.

 

[Imp]

Why do older women go with bangs... makes you look older.

 

[disappoint]

There is (as is customary) a slight nervousness in the room about what she will turn out to be like to work with, what she will or won’t agree to. First of all, she apologizes: most of these images are of women with cigarettes dangling from their lips, but she has a rule about not smoking in pictures. Fine; a lit match is decided upon instead. With all eyes on her, she continues to leaf through until she gets to the naked backside. She stops, and briskly slaps the pile of pictures down on her lap.

“O.K.,” she says, keeping an entirely straight face, “what I can do is put a cigarette in my ass. I don’t think that sets a bad example, do you?”

What a brilliant ice breaker when she notices the tension in the room. Beautiful and intelligent, a perfect combination.

 

[Perknose]

There is (as is customary) a slight nervousness in the room about what she will turn out to be like to work with, what she will or won’t agree to. First of all, she apologizes: most of these images are of women with cigarettes dangling from their lips, but she has a rule about not smoking in pictures. Fine; a lit match is decided upon instead. With all eyes on her, she continues to leaf through until she gets to the naked backside. She stops, and briskly slaps the pile of pictures down on her lap.

“O.K.,” she says, keeping an entirely straight face, “what I can do is put a cigarette in my ass. I don’t think that sets a bad example, do you?”

What a brilliant ice breaker when she notices the tension in the room. Beautiful and intelligent, a perfect combination.

Exactly! Although Boomer perused the article and then said he "found nothing of any value to me" because, you know, he's super cool like that.

 

[John Connor]

Came here thinking this would be a pic of a hot blonde. Left disappointed.

 

[Murloc]

The article shows in detail (to me) how Salma Hayek is for real, in a cool, funny, down to earth, solid, unpretentious, forthright, and genuine way . . . in addition to her more obvious talents.

^^^ Feel free to use the above as the cliffs.

tl;dr

 

[OCGuy]

Well my trophy wife is being born somewhere right as I type this, and I hope her personality is half as good as SH's. I guess we will see in 22 years.

 

[n7]

So much to read.

I skimmed thru it all. Nothing too exciting here.

Oh, and smoking is disgusting. That makes her an all-around disgusting woman.

 

[BoomerD]

Exactly! Although Boomer perused the article and then said he "found nothing of any value to me" because, you know, he's super cool like that.

Meh...if

“O.K.,” she says, keeping an entirely straight face, “what I can do is put a cigarette in my ass. I don’t think that sets a bad example, do you?”

is something YOU find to be of value...fine. I like the lady, but articles like that are just "fluff" pieces and don't have much interest to me.
Then again, I don't really give two shits about celebrities...what they do...or who they do.

 

[Perknose]

Meh...if

“O.K.,” she says, keeping an entirely straight face, “what I can do is put a cigarette in my ass. I don’t think that sets a bad example, do you?”

is something YOU find to be of value...fine. I like the lady, but articles like that are just "fluff" pieces and don't have much interest to me.

Then again, I don't reallyh give two shits about celebrities...what they do...or who they do.

Context. She was using humor to diplomatically defuse a situation at a high pressure celebrity shoot full of huge egos at which the photog had wanted her to pose with a cigarette in her mouth, which she doesn't do because she's opposed to pimping death sticks, even inadvertently.

Her response was deft, smart, humorous, and worked. Your clueless attempt at a haughty dismissal . . . wasn't.

But, hey, big fellah, maybe you just missed all that crucial context when you huffily skimmed the article.

Either that, or you have a stick cigarette up your ass yourself.

 

[drebo]

Salma is good looking...I wouldn't kick her out of bed...

But she's not my #1. She's not on my top 10 list either.

 

[OCGuy]

But she's not my #1. She's not on my top 10 list either.

Which is sad, because we all know that every little girl dreams of being on drebo's "Top 10 most sock-soiling fantasies" list when they grow up.

 

[drebo]

Which is sad, because we all know that every little girl dreams of being on drebo's "Top 10 most sock-soiling fantasies" list when they grow up.

Pretty sure that's what this thread's about.

People identifying where Salma is on their list compared to Perknose.

People who say she's ugly are fucking morons. People who say she's the most beautiful person alive are also idiots.

 

[OCGuy]

Pretty sure that's what this thread's about.

People identifying where Salma is on their list compared to Perknose.

People who say she's ugly are fucking morons. People who say she's the most beautiful person alive are also idiots.

You are correct. Just ball-bustin'

 

[schneiderguy]

Why do any women go with bangs... makes you look stupid.

fixed

 

[JEDIYoda]

her accent is a boner killer.

you say that but you would be all over that if she walked up to your ass all naked...

 

[alkemyst]

Most dudes here haven't fucked many chicks.

Salma would be someone I'd fuck.

I love the accent, hair, etc comments.

A hot woman is just about making her man VERY HAPPY.

I am sure having sex with Salma Hayek would put most into killing themselves if it ever really happened because that was their last chance. Many here would probably partake of it and think now they are a BOSS,

 

[alkemyst]

you say that but you would be all over that if she walked up to your ass all naked...

I personally think he likes guys. It's OK with me. I have a gay daughter (non-biological for all you internet Sherlocks, I still help her).

I personally think if he had that issue, He'd ask her to send something to him.