My heart has now stopped beating

[Alphathree33]

My girlfriend and I were surfing the net yesterday when she starting having cramps 11 days before the normal start of her period. This continued and then stopped by morning when she started experiencing other 'period-related' things like discharge.

This would all seem perfectly normal if it were 11 days from now, but it's not.

It takes 14 days for an egg to develop and her cycle is 28 days, so IF she were pregnant she would be only 3 days into her pregnancy at most. We read online at several places that cramps are not normally associated with pregnancy, and there's hardly anything associated with such an early stage of it. But when the discharge started...

It could just be a freak period. She said once or twice before, she's had one. But I'm sitting here physically shaking because I don't know what to do. Or rather I don't know what to think and I don't want to think about what she might have to do.

We didn't make any 'mistakes' and didn't have any 'breakage' issues. -- something like this seems so out of the blue. I don't think I can ask anyone because if it were true this would have to be a complete secret and so the only place I can post is like this, anonymously, on a forum.

 

[ROTC1983]

Man, I hope things work out. BTW, if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

 

[Alphathree33]

I'm 20. And I hope things work out too.

 

[ROTC1983]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
I'm 20. And I hope things work out too.

Cool, good luck man. If a baby is born, I do believe the best you can do for the baby is care for it

 

[Lotheron]

I hate to say this, but if you play with fire, you get burned..

 

[ROTC1983]

Originally posted by: Slasher2k
I hate to say this, but if you play with fire, you get burned..

I do believe he understands that. Sometimes events occur unexpectectly.

 

[spaceman]

Originally posted by: Slasher2k
I hate to say this, but if you play with fire, you get burned..

if you take precautions, you have much less to worry about.

 

[Lotheron]

Originally posted by: ncircle

Originally posted by: Slasher2k I hate to say this, but if you play with fire, you get burned..

if you take precautions, you have much less to worry about.

Yes... but things still can happen no matter what. So you have to expect something like this *could* happen.

 

[ROTC1983]

Originally posted by: Slasher2k

Originally posted by: ncircle

Originally posted by: Slasher2k I hate to say this, but if you play with fire, you get burned..

if you take precautions, you have much less to worry about.

Yes... but things still can happen no matter what. So you have to expect something like this *could* happen.

Look at what I said earlier, he might have understood the consequences but didn't believe that it would happen.

 

[Alphathree33]

Wonderful -- a debate on my state of mind. Just want I wanted.

 

[ROTC1983]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
Wonderful -- a debate on my state of mind. Just want I wanted.

Sorry about that...I will just sink into the shadows now Well, again, I hope everything turns out how you want it to.

 

[Lotheron]

Originally posted by: ROTC1983

Originally posted by: Alphathree33 Wonderful -- a debate on my state of mind. Just want I wanted.

Sorry about that...I will just sink into the shadows now Well, again, I hope everything turns out how you want it to.

Ditto, and Congrats on the baby

Yeah that was bad....

 

[gordy]

Originally posted by: ROTC1983

Originally posted by: Slasher2k
I hate to say this, but if you play with fire, you get burned..

I do believe he understands that. Sometimes events occur unexpectectly.

OMG! thats a hoot!!! oops, i just had sex !

 

[MichaelD]

Go to the local grocery/drug store and purchase a pregnancy test kit. They are about $12-$15. Read the instructions that came with it before using to ensure the most accurate results possible. If it comes up positive, she needs to go get a pregnancy blood test done; those are 100% accurate.

Good luck to you; it would suck having to get married at 20 years old.

But if she's open to an abortion, then your problems are solved. Good luck.

NOTE:
The above comment (you know which one) is my statement and not an invitation to start a flame war. Any nasty comments directed my way will be ignored.

 

[Scarpozzi]

My heart stopped twice before and both times I dodged a bullet. I sincerely hope I never have to worry about that again, but I have been careless lately for some reason. Do me a favor and follow Michael D's instructions. It's a lot easier if you actually know and act accordingly. When you don't know, it really does a number on your blood pressure.

 

[djheater]

Don't be so egocentric. You're probably not scared half as sh!tless as she is right now.

<--- Got my 20 year old girlfriend preggers when I was 22


(happy ending, we're very happily married with two beautiful daughters now)


50 years ago a pregnancy at your age would have been completely normal. This idea of a prolonged adolescence is silly. You're an adult, you had sex, you might have a baby. Deal.

BTW: I don't believe pregnancy tests work at such an early stage. She SHOULD go to her doctor about the discharge etc. period.

 

[broon]

Good luck to you; it would suck having to get married at 20 years old.

Why would he have to get married? There's always adoption. Or living together. Or just paying child support.

 

[anno]

unscheduled cramps and other "period-related" symptoms are not normal signs of pregnancy.

(typically, you miss your cycle, rather than have a bonus one.. the first clue of pregnancy, in my admittedly limited experience, comes when you wake up one morning magically wearing someone else's chest.. whoa.. where'd *these* come from..)

it would probably be a good idea for her to make a visit to her gynecologist (or student health, or planned parenthood) and find out if there's reason to be concerned about the irregular cycles. maybe obtain a more reliable form of birth control while she's there, save you both some of this panic.

anno

 

[Ulfwald]

This is going to sound disgusting, but......

If something did happen and she is preggars, but severe cramping and discharge are occuring, she could be having a miscarriage. Find out for sure from a Dr., don't sit there and specualte about it.

 

[Alphathree33]

When I've suggested we go to the student health centre in the past over little things (one time she got a contact rolled into the back of her eye, but she managed to get it out on her own) she scoffed at me. That, and she cancelled her student health insurance and I don't think they would use mine to treat her.

We talked about getting a pregnancy test this morning and decided we'll buy one today after I'm done work (I'm on co-op) and she's done school. I think if that comes up negative, we'll play wait-and-see for a few days.

She is open to abortion (there's no way she would have a child while she's in university and no way I would want that either). None the less I don't think that equates to 'problem solved'. Even medical abortions are apparently not very pleasent at all.

anno, thank you, you just extended my life by a few years with your thoughts. Like I said, she has had these 'false periods' once or twice before, but they are rare. I hope you're right. As for the more reliable form of birth control, we've never had any scares like this before. We both agreed sex is not worth this sort of scare, so we won't be needing that anymore.

I know she's more scared than I am (although she keeps telling me not to worry) but does that mean I'm not allowed to worry? I guess I should just let her do all of the worrying and go on with my day like nothing's wrong?

 

[Alphathree33]

Originally posted by: Ulfwald
This is going to sound disgusting, but...... If something did happen and she is preggars, but severe cramping and discharge are occuring, she could be having a miscarriage. Find out for sure from a Dr., don't sit there and specualte about it.

Good point but... a miscarriage after at most three days of pregnancy?

 

[Lola]

Originally posted by: Ulfwald
This is going to sound disgusting, but......

If something did happen and she is preggars, but severe cramping and discharge are occuring, she could be having a miscarriage. Find out for sure from a Dr., don't sit there and specualte about it.

Yep, thats what i was thinking too. They do make early pregnancy tests now which can tell earlier than before. You make wanna pick one up anyways. Also, has she been feeling sick to her stomach or anything?

EDIT: Good luck. You have to hope sometimes that EVERYTHING happens for a reason.Whatever may happen, be a brave guy and take it. Also, please remember to be caring to your gf, especially now in these moments of "unknowing"

 

[Alphathree33]

I am ALWAYS caring of her. I asked her at least ten times during the night how she was feeling and if there was anything I could do. (We usually will both wake up if one or the other wakes up)

 

[Nitemare]

Does she suffer from irregular periods? My wifes would range from 2-8 weeks. If she is fairly young this may be the case, but seriously she might need to see the gynecologist because it could be anything.

I knew a girl once who did not have periods, come to find out she had an ovarian cyst and lost an ovary at the age of 19. i hope this is not the case, but better to check in with someone with a wee bit more experience than this board.

 

[rh71]

http://www.afraidtoask.com

Good luck.