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My friend's wife left him

nakedfrog

nakedfrog

No Lifer
Like the title says, my friend's wife left him. I was the best man in their wedding last year, they'd been together since 1998/99. One of his old friends who he'd been in the military with moved back into town and got a job with him, and he started hanging out at their house. All was fine.
Well, I don't have the full story on who started what, but apparently his wife and "friend" have been sleeping together for at least a couple weeks. She's got this whole spiel about how "I wasn't looking for this blah blah blah" which I only hear as "I'm a stupid filthy wh0re."
He told her he was willing to go to counseling to work on whatever problems they had and keep the marriage together. His sole condition was that she cut off all contact with his "friend." Apparently that wouldn't work for her. Just tonight she "officially" told him and his nine year old daughter she was leaving. His daughter begged her to stay, and started crying, he started crying, it's a whole big ugly mess.
I'm trying to figure out what I should do as his friend. Should I try to get him out to a bar and go over the "fvck her, you don't need her" or what? I've never had to deal with this situation before.
[edit]
Oh yeah, I forgot one more thing. His first wife from before I knew him did the same kinda thing, just not with his friend, so it's not an entirely new situation before. That's why it took her four or five years for them to get married, he really didn't want to do it (and then she goes and proves him right)

No cliff notes.
 
Take him out for a beer. Tell him about the meaning of life.

Just be a friend. That is what he needs most.


EDIT: that, and have him write down everything that happened and put it in a safety deposit box. Perhaps once he gets sober help him plan her demise etc....
 
Originally posted by: Goosemaster
Take him out for a bear. Tell him about the meaning of life.

Just be a friend. That is what he needs most.
Click to expand...

I dunno how Winnie the Pooh would help at a time like this. 😛
 
Originally posted by: Goosemaster
Take him out for a beer. Tell him about the meaning of life.

Just be a friend. That is what he needs most.


EDIT: that, and have him write down everything that happened and put it in a safety deposit box. Perhaps once he gets sober help him plan her demise etc....
Click to expand...

Yeah, I forgot to add the bit about the first time this happened to him, which makes it all the worse for him. Now edited.
 
I'm trying to figure out what I should do as his friend
Click to expand...

His friend? Just be there for him...

His really close friend? Close enough to share & keep the secret of where the cnut's body is buried? 😉
 
man thats rough, esp wth kids involved, i suggest professional counceling as this will be best for him and his daughter
 
you don't need to do or say anything and you shouldn't feel obligated to. Just your mere presence will send the signal that you are there for him as a friend.
 
tell him to take it all out on the daughter, half of it is her after all


ok thats a big joke, if you didnt realize. i wish i had some real advice. barring the death of an immediate family member, i cant think of anything worse that could possibly happen
 
God dangit, people. What's with all these depressing threads?! It's already depressing enough as it is to long on here....
 
Originally posted by: gxshockwav
you don't need to do or say anything and you shouldn't feel obligated to. Just your mere presence will send the signal that you are there for him as a friend.
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I know he's glad to have me there, and thanked me for the offer to go apesh!t on his "friend." I wish there was more I could do though, so I was hoping maybe someone would have an idea.

Originally posted by: Gurck
His friend? Just be there for him...

His really close friend? Close enough to share & keep the secret of where the cnut's body is buried? 😉
Click to expand...

That'd never work, it would have to be an outside job. Too easy to trace it to us.

Uh... not that I've thought about it.
 
tough situation. my daughter was two when me and her mom split up. glad she wasn't older. do whatever you can to keep it civil for your daughter...
 
Get him a card or some anti-depressants... the card should read something like, "get well soon" 🙂
 
Originally posted by: Slappy00
man thats rough, esp wth kids involved, i suggest professional counceling as this will be best for him and his daughter
Click to expand...
Agreed. You can also ask around for the toughest divorce lawyer you can get.

 
his army buddy is going to move on, and the wife is going to be begging to come back in a few months to a year. Right now, your friend should have only one priority on his mind...his daughter's welfare. This is the kind of thing that makes a man a man. Screw the crying and bitching. He needs to tune his ex out and step up.
 
Originally posted by: her209
Sorry to hear.

Any reason why she left? Is the daughter from the 2nd marraige or 1st?
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First marriage.
She left because she "couldn't choose" between them or some such crap. I figure she kinda chose when she married one of them after being with him for years. I know she feels bad and all, but apparently not bad enough to stay and save the marriage. This guy told her he needed to "put herself first for once"
HA! He can only say that because he's only known her for a month or two, tops.
 
it's so depressing to hear all these stories. I really hope the best for him. Keep him occupied with something, so he doesn't just sit there... and think.. do what you can to get his mind thinking about something else. Burned twice.. man...
 
Women . . . bah. Best to keep him busy, methinks. Maybe go to the gym and workout with him. Probably could include the 9 year old daughter in that as well. I always feel better after a good workout.
 
uh why did she take the daughter? if the daughter was begging to stay your friend should have kept her at his place.
 
Originally posted by: memo
uh why did she take the daughter? if the daughter was begging to stay your friend should have kept her at his place.
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I thought the daughter was begging the wife to stay, not begging to stay with the husband.
 
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