my friend is depressed, need advice

[habib89]

she cannot rush into having children or getting married no matter what the circumstance.. i can understand being upset that her dad is sick, again, but it sounds like she wants to get married and have kids just so he can be there for it? that sounds retarded..

i know how it feels to be the "best" in a family and have all that pressure put on you... it happens as the oldest boy in a chinese family.. the first one to go to college.. the first to graduate.. etc.. she's gotta stop worrying about things for herself and give her dad what he wants.. he wants to see her happy.. he wants to see her succeed.. she's gotta keep in mind that her parents are extremely proud of her.. they've already got grandkids... now they want to see one of their own kids do very well for themselves

 

[Mday]

The way I have lived my life is effectively by going with the flow. I am lucky enough to come from a fairly solid family with few "problems," medical or otherwise.

I think her parents misspoke, or she might have misunderstood what they were trying to convey. My feeling is that her parents are not concerned about her because they believe in her abilities. And that they want her to make something of herself. It may be that they see marriage and family life as a way to bring a woman down, forcing her to be a housewife. So, that may be the underlying misunderstanding.

My advice would be this: Her family loves her. And they know she has a future. It is not that her parents do not want her to get married. It is that they want her to be "free" to do as she wishes.

And tell her that her father will be fine =)

 

[altonb1]

Not to thread jack, but my wife has been a complete PITA lately and I'm ready to slit MY wrsists.... We have 5 kids, so I certainly can't afford to leave her....