• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

My friend hates change. Mods hate bad parodies

Saint Nick

Saint Nick

Lifer
I was reading a recent post about a nerdy kid with no future. This isn't a parody... it is a legitimate post.

My friend has a future. He has many friends and and is very social. He's a very nice guy. HOWEVER -- he hates change. He is stuck in his little box where everything has to the same as it always has been:

1) We went to the store once and he was buying socks... he didn't buy any because they didn't have the ones he wanted (brand, shape?, size).

2) We eat at the cafeteria at our college a lot, and every day, he has a hamburger and a salad with dorthy lynch on it. Otherwise, if he eats at his house, he has to have pizza. He will eat nothing but burgers and pizza DAILY.

3) He has done his hair the same every day since 5th grade. He gobs it up with a gallon of gel then combs it all down so it sticks to his head. I'll go up to him and screw it all up, and he will go back to the bathroom and slick it all back down to his head again. CHANGE = BAD OMG.

4) He refuses to wear different clothes. He has worn the same shirts since 11th grade. His family has bought him new clothes, but continues to wear the shitty, worn-out ones. He has three or four shirts he wears on a regular basis, but probably 10-12 brand new jeans and shirts that have never once been worn (my girlfriend went through his closet...??). He wears the same sports jacket he has had since 8th grade. It is faded, has paint all over it, and looks terrible. He wears this stuff when we go out...??? (wtf.) Helll, he wears this stuff when our band performs on stage. It looks bad.

5) He FREAKS if something doesn't go the way it used to, right down to the smallest, most minute changes.

Why is he so afraid to change things? We have tried and tried to break him out of this box but to no avail. He is 21 and never had a girlfriend, or even a girlfriend-ish type of situation. I feel he could do well if he dressed well and did something different once in a while... any advice????



sigh................


esquared
Anandtech Senior Moderator
 
Drop him like it's hot


I have no idea, honestly. If he doesn't want help then he doesn't want help.

Is this a parody? 🙁
 
Sounds like OCD to a degree.
I'm pretty similar, except while I prefer things not to change, I move on with changes. I'll buy new clothes, but not regularly, mostly when I find I've been wearing the same shit for awhile and/or things are starting to fall apart or not fit.
I'm pretty habitual, and find moving away from those habits is difficult to do on my own at times.
Whether its true OCD or something else that just creates habits that are hard to move away from, whatever I 'have' he shares but to a greater degree.

I tell you though, whatever it is I got is fucking up my ability to do well in school. I think I'm gonna finally crack and try and get some outside help, because I fail at changing myself... I can recognize the problems but seem to be unable to do anything about them.
 
Who gives a damn? You're acting like a woman. If he's your friend and is a good guy it shouldn't matter what he looks like or eats or buys.

I know someone who is similar to that but not as bad. They just take longer to grow up, and it isn't hurting anyone so I don't care,
 
Originally posted by: rezinn
Who gives a damn? You're acting like a woman. If he's your friend and is a good guy it shouldn't matter what he looks like or eats or buys.

I know someone who is similar to that but not as bad. They just take longer to grow up, and it isn't hurting anyone so I don't care,
Click to expand...

wow remind me not to have a friend like you.

you should care about your friends, or else they aren't friends, but rather simply acquaintances. My 'friends', the ones I refer to as mostly just acquaintances, I am like that with... just kind of have fun with them but that's it. But my real friends, my best friends that I've known for awhile, are ones I grow to be really good friends with and would do almost anything for. Maybe you are missing that kind of friendship in your life?

To care whether a friend or not is doing something that isn't going to be good for him in the future is not something only women do. Grow up.
 
Work in IT support. Most customers are like him, but worse.

True story: I get a call from the hospital, the user is freaking because "meditech does not work" so after trying to get an idea of what exactly does not work it turns out that the icon is not even there, not that it does not work. So I remote in to go add the icon, only to find it in the opposite corner of the screen then it normally is. I drag it over and the user is like "OMG how did you do that? You're my hero!".

People really hate change.
 
No this isn't a parody.

He is high strung a lot and not very laid back. I just feel like he is stuck in a box and I want to get him out of there -- thats all .... :/
 
Originally posted by: joshsquall
If your friend is happy, who cares?
Click to expand...

That is the thing -- a few of us don't think he is really satisfied with his lack of a personal life. He has expressed to a few friends that not really having romantic interests bothers him...
 
I kind of feel like I can relate to this friend of yours... allow me to elaborate.

Originally posted by: NightDarker
1) We went to the store once and he was buying socks... he didn't buy any because they didn't have the ones he wanted (brand, shape?, size).
Click to expand...

Having the same type of socks all around is very handy. You don't have to worry about looking for the exact match (white one with the red stripe rather than blue or no stripes). You just take one sock and pair it with another. Simple and fucking easy to do. Your friend is smarter than you for doing this.

Originally posted by: NightDarker
2) We eat at the cafeteria at our college a lot, and every day, he has a hamburger and a salad with dorthy lynch on it. Otherwise, if he eats at his house, he has to have pizza. He will eat nothing but burgers and pizza DAILY.
Click to expand...

So in other words, your friend is purchasing food that he knows he will like rather than buying food that he has never had and may not like? I see no problems with this at all... although some may complain about the fact that it's rather monotonous, and it is... but that's the beauty of it all. You know when you go to lunch that unless it's been cooked improperly, you will have a good meal! I mean, maybe you can get him to expand his varieties of food a little, but personally... I'm the same way. I buy the same Stouffer's Skillets every week from Wal-Mart... always enough to get me up until Saturday when I go out with friends and after that, I hit up Wal-Mart again and buy enough to last until the next Saturday. I always buy the same ones, because I like those. They're easy as hell to make and taste good. If you get the rice-based ones, they're not that bad for you (fat-wise), but unfortunately are a bit high in sodium.

Originally posted by: NightDarker
3) He has done his hair the same every day since 5th grade. He gobs it up with a gallon of gel then combs it all down so it sticks to his head. I'll go up to him and screw it all up, and he will go back to the bathroom and slick it all back down to his head again. CHANGE = BAD OMG.
Click to expand...

Perhaps it's because you're being a douche and messing up his hair? A friend or two used to do this to me and it drove me fucking crazy... I spent the time to make myself look presentable and you have to be super douche and mess it all up and make it look like I just rolled out of bed. Thanks, you're a great friend. Sure, you may think I might look better a different way, but I'm used to this and I *GASP!* like it. You need to stop thinking you know what's best for your friend and let him fucking make some decisions (or rather, the decision to not make a change) for himself.

Originally posted by: NightDarker
4) He refuses to wear different clothes. He has worn the same shirts since 11th grade. His family has bought him new clothes, but continues to wear the shitty, worn-out ones. He has three or four shirts he wears on a regular basis, but probably 10-12 brand new jeans and shirts that have never once been worn (my girlfriend went through his closet...??). He wears the same sports jacket he has had since 8th grade. It is faded, has paint all over it, and looks terrible. He wears this stuff when we go out...??? (wtf.) Helll, he wears this stuff when our band performs on stage. It looks bad.

5) He FREAKS if something doesn't go the way it used to, right down to the smallest, most minute changes.
Click to expand...

These two are a little off... even for me. A shirt or two of mine may look a little worn, but I still wear new clothes even though I am somewhat like your friend.

Sounds like he's got some mental issues though if you want my serious opinion. I suffered from (and still do) a mild bit of depression which affects how much I care about things. It's quite possible that there's something making him not want to step out of what he's used to... what he's comfortable with. Perhaps it's one of the few things he thinks he can truly control in this strange universe. I don't know, I'm just typing to type by this point.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top