Funerals are not for the dead, they are for the living. They are a social support for those grieving friends and relatives, to help them through their grief. Nick would understand if Mark needed to grieve in a different manner. Mark just needed to work through his loss in a different way. Perhaps his trip with his girlfriend was his way to get away and think about his best friend with his girlfriend there to support him.
Why is it your business what he chooses to do?
If it was me I would say, "Fvck you, mind your own business."
If it was me I would say, "Fvck you, mind your own business."
D1gger
Diamond Member
- Oct 3, 2004
- 5,411
- 2
- 76
My wife is chinese, and they do have some customs regarding death that are different from western customs. If someone in our immediate family passes away, none of her chinese friends will visit our house for a month, and my wife will not enter her friend's home for a month. She will go out and meet her friend for coffee or shopping, but they will not enter each others home for a month.
I have not heard anything about customs regarding a suicide, but it wouldn't surprise me if he stayed away to please his grandmother.
I have not heard anything about customs regarding a suicide, but it wouldn't surprise me if he stayed away to please his grandmother.
The real question is why was Nick dumb enough to commit suicide in the first play? Nick sounds like a great friend!
grandma probably afraid the unrest spirit will latch onto him or some crap.
edit: especially since they were close/best friends.
edit: especially since they were close/best friends.
rh71
No Lifer
- Aug 28, 2001
- 52,844
- 1,049
- 126
Know of a lot of traditions but none surrounding suicide so this is new to me.
Whenever we go visit grave sites, we always have to go eat together afterward... my wife's side eats at the cemetary in what looks like a big picnic. Just a lot of weird stuff in the culture.
Whenever we go visit grave sites, we always have to go eat together afterward... my wife's side eats at the cemetary in what looks like a big picnic. Just a lot of weird stuff in the culture.
if, after 38 years of marriage, my father chose not to attend his wife's funeral, i would know that he probably had a damn good reason and i would never bring it up as a subject. i might be curious, but i would never, ever bring it up.
ever.
There may be some truth to that (his family may have that custom).
Maybe it's how he is dealing with the suicide
Maybe he doesnt want or need the closure that some people get by going to a funeral
Maybe it's how he is dealing with the suicide
Maybe he doesnt want or need the closure that some people get by going to a funeral
pontifex
Lifer
- Dec 5, 2000
- 43,804
- 46
- 91
Maybe he couldn't deal with it emotionally and instead of it sounding like he wasn't "manly" he made up another excuse? people experience grief in many different ways and sometimes it isn't immediate.
My grandfather died a few years back. He was in the hospital for a few days before he died and i did not want to go see him. it wasn't because i didn't love him or anything, i just didn't know how to handle it. One day i did go visit him by myself. I only saw him for a few seconds, i think he was sleeping. he didn't look like any person that i knew.
i left and about 1/4 of the way home i just started crying.
This was also the first death i had ever had to deal with, other than pets.
im from hong kong and i've never heard of such thing. unless his family has some sort of child birth or wedding or huge birthday, otherwise i dont think so.
StinkyPinky
Diamond Member
- Jul 6, 2002
- 6,986
- 1,283
- 126
My wife is from the island province of Hainan and I just asked her. Yes, it's unlucky for them to attend a funeral of a suicide. In fact, she said it's unlucky to even speak to the family at all until 50 days later.
So clearly it is a belief in some parts of China.
It could very well be legitimate.
In some Chinese traditions, people who recently had a family member pass away aren't supposed to "expose" themselves to the public so that they would not bring "bad luck" to others. Likewise, in such traditions, one would stay away from funerals or homes of the deceased's family. This would usually last for a period of time.. 49 (7 times 7) days in some traditions, longer in others.
In some Chinese traditions, people who recently had a family member pass away aren't supposed to "expose" themselves to the public so that they would not bring "bad luck" to others. Likewise, in such traditions, one would stay away from funerals or homes of the deceased's family. This would usually last for a period of time.. 49 (7 times 7) days in some traditions, longer in others.
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